|Reviews for Closing In|
| Knight Of Paradox chapter 10 . 9/14/2006
Definitely for fans. There's a bit of an overload of the same sensation by the end, and no real buildup to their grandiosity that they're supposed to have.
It's not a story though, so it's obvious that making something like so is hard, unless you plan 50 snippets to act like parts of stories, that eventually intertwine together to make either a chaotically built story or a stringed story with only small flashes, to hint us on where the story is at, until finally we reach a climatix moment or snippet, followed by it's eventual slowdown into a cute epilogue or ending.
In this case, the snippets are pretty random, and thus a pattern begins to form by certain points, it becomes obvious what the next will be, as it's nothing really different from the rest. It is cute, points on that, but it's repetitive and redundant by a certain point. For the neutrals, 25 is where you should stop. For the fans of Alphia, you should go the whole way through.
I would imagine though, anyone with a bit of a writters block or need of a plot bunny, could probably take a look at those snippets, ask if they could use two or more, and build from it.
Good job nonetheless, it's the first time I see something like this. But then again, I haven't been on Fanfiction that long in comparison to many other (and haven't read much).
| Dragon Chyld chapter 10 . 5/21/2006
Almost seemed like it ended too soon but it was fun! These last five sentences were nice to finish with since the themes are 'universal' and carry things to a grander scale.
Good luck with Olette and Seifer :)
| Shizuka Usagi chapter 10 . 5/20/2006
I knew the title was familiar! Imogen Heap is awesome. Anyway, I love forward to your Olette & Seifer Seifette? Good job on Closing In. It was well written, brief, but to the point.
| LilyGinnyBlack chapter 10 . 5/16/2006
You really have a talent for these one sentence challenges, so, I'll definately check out your next challenge. Anyway, these last five, were beautiful. They reall were. All five were sweet, as well, I mean, these five started with:
#46 – Sun
Sunbeams shine through the windows, illuminating the hair that cascades down her bare shoulders like a waterfall, and she has never looked more beautiful.
And then ended with:
#50 - Supernova
Her mind tells her to retreat, but her heart and lips have been pulled to him with no chance of escape.
Number 50 shows just how magnetic the Albel/Sophia relationship is, and how their attraction to one another is, and, finally, amazing job on these last five sentences! :D Please, keep up the good work with any other bit of fanfiction writing that you do. :)
| Knight Of Paradox chapter 9 . 5/15/2006
Go! Go! Final five! Anyho, it's not bad, it's kind of interesting but I can't help as if I'm being cheated due to a slightly repetitive mood. It is cute though so you win points on that.
As I said before, definitely more for big fans of the Alphia pairing. Does that mean I shouldn't review this? Bah.
| Dragon Chyld chapter 9 . 5/14/2006
#41 - So sweet. Sometimes the simplest of things can heal.
#42 - Haha! He would rather watch her than the clouds ;)
#43 - So sad, but sweet.
#44 - Aw! :)
#45 - *cries* But makes a great contrast to #44
| LilyGinnyBlack chapter 9 . 5/14/2006
Another well done five sentences! . I enjoyed how these five mostly centered around Albel and show just how fragile he can be, with the last one even more so, which shows how easily Albel can snap. I love these and great job! :D So, please, keep up the good work! :)
| Knight Of Paradox chapter 8 . 5/13/2006
I dno why, but I feel this could've ended well by the 25th. It's nothing wrong, but there's a pattern forming.
This is certainly made for fans of the coupling. Anyone who's more on the neutral side should probably stop at around 25. Going onward and reading more doesn't hurt, but it doesn't get that much more interesting. In any case, let's see how the final 10 holds up.
| Dragon Chyld chapter 8 . 5/12/2006
#36 - Wonderful. Yes, that would happen - if she didn't drive him crazy first he might actually learn something (lol)
#37 - Aww!
#38 - Have to wonder if Fayt didn't do that on purpose...
#39 - Truth.
#40 - :)
| Dragon Chyld chapter 7 . 5/12/2006
#31 - Cute!
#32 - Oh, yeah.
#33 - That one's deep. There's a lot in that one sentence
#34 - So sad, but I can see it.
#35 - Definitely one of my favorites.
| LilyGinnyBlack chapter 8 . 5/12/2006
Another amazing five sentences. I enjoyed how there seemed to be a(n)(un)intentional theme with these five. They showed how different the two really are which, of course, makes for an interesting couple...and interesting fanfics. :P Keep up the good work! :D
| LilyGinnyBlack chapter 7 . 5/11/2006
Another lovely five sentences. :) This set easily shows just how complex the Albel and Sophia relationship can be at times, but also, how simple the couple can be as well. Great job! :D
| Dragon Chyld chapter 6 . 5/10/2006
#26 - Sad but with a hint of true emotions.
#27 - Oh! I really must remember this one. Gives me ideas for a fic I'm working on. That is, if you don't mind if I use the concept.
#28 - :) (I like this one)
#29 - I like this one better then #28
#30 - LOL. I don't like this one - I love it!
| Dragon Chyld chapter 5 . 5/10/2006
#21 - Exactly! I even mentioned something along these lines in a fic of mine. :)
#22 - Albel's in denial. Yup!
#23 - So sweet!
#24 - Haha, that's cute.
#25 - That one just made me smile.
| keeki chapter 6 . 5/9/2006
Her voice is like a sweet song he used to know and wasn’t aware he had forgotten.
O.o these are so cute! I really like them, I wish there was going to be more than 50, or maybe you should write more Alphias.