Reviews for Picked On
TheEeveeTamer chapter 8 . 7/12/2011
Okay, I wasn't going to review, but I feel I have to.

All in all the concept for the story was okay. The characters seemed really off though. Also, having all the characters talking in the same paragraph got really confusing. Try making a new paragraph when a new character speaks.

The spelling seemed alright, though there were a few typos in it where maybe you were typing a bit too fast. (Don't worry, it happens to me a lot too).

The undercover cop idea was different. Although it was an okay concept, it was a bit rushed. I feel you could have expanded on it a bit more than you did. In fact, the entire story was very rushed. One paragraph Kaoru is starting school, and the next a hot undercover cop is telling her everything. I think you could have stretched out the story into quite a few more chapters if you had drawn out the story more.

Alright, I think that is about it.
wildcat83 chapter 8 . 10/9/2009
I really like the story...only a few things bother me with it though, everything happened way way to fast and there really wasn't any beginning saying that there was a killer in the school and 2 undercover thinking u might have thrown that in there cause you where having writers block...anyways my suggestion here is to rewrite the store and add a few things in like change scene from Kaoru at the start to Kenshin being told he has to go undercover or something like that...then a few months later Kaoru starts a the school...also try to not make the story line move to fast.
Nadya Lubov chapter 2 . 9/24/2009
Interesting... I was worried at first because everyone seemed really out of character... but now Kenshin is cool hehe ;)
SRAS9 chapter 8 . 9/13/2009
This story was very quick but was very good! Good work!
AceAyane chapter 8 . 6/19/2008
aw what a lovely story. I like it! Keep up the good work with your other stories ok?
poems2songs chapter 8 . 1/22/2008
wonderful story... really liked it... good job... great work...
Pixel-the-evil-fairy chapter 8 . 5/18/2006
great fic! sad, but great! i really liked it! great work
antica chapter 8 . 5/11/2006
aw sad chapter but great i loved it when kenji hugged kenshin seeing that his dad had died when he was young

keep up the good work

Seraphim the Seventh Light chapter 8 . 5/10/2006
*ish bawling* OMG... THAT WAS SO SAD... Is it over? Will there be a sequel?
K-Bird Lily chapter 7 . 5/9/2006
awe i think i ned a tissue! i loved the last chapter! i almost cryed when kenshin and kaoru died! and when kenshin said kenji was gonna die too well u need to keep on writin!
ArtemisRoseShadow chapter 7 . 5/9/2006
THIS IS AMAZING! I was crying so much!
antica chapter 7 . 5/9/2006
*sob* i was crying when i read it...kenshin and kaoru are dead but at least together that made me feel a little better and the fact that kenji will be coming to them soon...will his wife come too?i hope she does

Kaotic I. Deas chapter 7 . 5/8/2006
Sorry I haven't updated recently, I've been busy! Anyhoo, they got married how sweet! It's kinda sad that they died but they got to see each other in the end. Nice job!
Sunshine of my life chapter 6 . 5/5/2006
yes continre please

kenji needs to come in
antica chapter 6 . 5/5/2006
so cute...i loved this chapter to bits...please do continue

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