|Reviews for Torn Asunder|
| DarksideHasCookies chapter 20 . 11/5/2008
Loved it! Its great when a leading lady isn't either weak, slutty or butch :P keep up the great work! a sequal would be nice...
| ClaMiAl chapter 20 . 10/26/2008
Hm...interesting story. I think, overall, I like it. Though there are a few things that bothered me. For one, in the first half of the fic Logan was too touchy-feely for my tastes. I just don't see him as a guy who would break out into one paragraph long monologues about how he is feeling and how he came to feel that way. I'd think you'd have to pull it out of him one tiny admission of feelings and weaknesses at a time. Though, I must say that that got better in the second half of the story. And the times when he started crying...that was just wrong. Logan, the way I see him anyway, is just too emotionally shut off from the world around him and too guarded to let his emotions (especially those that he sees as a weakness, and crying would as one) show like that.
Another thing that bothered me was that Angela seemed like a Mary Sue to me. Not only was she good looking enough to have to be warned about all the teenage boys, but she could also handle Logan in a fight without letting him scratch her. Logan is an experienced and deadly fighter, and he is very dangerous. That does not mean that he is invincible, of course, but it does mean that when it comes to hand to hand combat, he'll at least hurt you if not kill you. I don't have a problem with other people matching his skills with their own but the degree to which she could out-fight him was unrealistic in my opinion. Ok, she is more agile than he is, sort of more gymnastic in her movements, but he has a greater reach and more strength. (It's sort of like the Logan/Mystique fight in the first movie...she took on his body, so she had all his physical characteristics like strength and healing, and she was all jumping and twirling, and gymnastic, and he still managed to hit her a few times.) It would have worked better for me if they were evenly matched. And of course, with her defeating him without any problems, it was ridiculous for her to have any doubts about being able to handle him in case he had already been brainwashed into helping the military guys.
The last thing that bothered me was the Scott bashing. He is not my favourite character by far, and I enjoy reading/watching the arguments and barbs going back and forth between him and Logan, but here he seemed to be portrayed as a stupid idiot who just doesn't seem to be able to understand the way the world works. I think Scott, and everyone else at Xavier's school are there for a reason...namely because they have experienced first hand what then world is like and how it sees them, and I don't think Scott is an exception. Scott simply thinks/hopes that there is still hope that if they show the non-mutants that not all mutants are evil, the non-mutants will back off and leave them in peace. It is an admirable point of view, I think. Perhaps it is unrealistic, but it is not wrong or stupid. The way the characters were depicted in this fic, the message that is conveyed is, 'Trying to be peaceful is stupid, so don't even try it.' And for Xavier to support Logan's and Angela's point of view just seems out of character for him. He's the one who came up with and taught Scott the whole lets-be-nice-to-the-humans scheme, so it seems very wrong to me for him to abandon that bandwagon.
What struck me in a positive way is that there were, as far as I could see, no or almost no spelling or grammar mistakes. Those are very annoying to me, so I was happy about that.
Still, despite these issues I had a good time reading this fic. It simply never gave me the buzz some other stories do, because Angela's way superior skills made it clear that they would all come out on top anyway. I'll go check out the sequels, now. The summaries did make me curious... Cheers!
| ceilidh-kay chapter 20 . 3/2/2008
Just read it all in pretty much one go!
I really like your story and characters. I cant wait to go read the next one!
| God of Laundry Baskets chapter 20 . 12/16/2007
heh, I usually am good about reading things in order... ha. But I love it so much~ I'm usually not a huge fan of OC stories or ones that take place in first person (I'm just so much more used to the 3rd person view.. Prejuduced that way) but there are a few books and fanfiction that make the exception to the rule and I'm happy to say yours is one of them! You really deserve more reviews to your work... but it's probably thanks to people like me, who only reveiw the last chapter XD.
Anyways I love the humor in this one! It's so much less dark than the most recent two! And I certainly have no problem with you finishing the work before you post it, but I can bet I'll be one of the first reviewers once you get it up! It just lets me get the whole story all the better!
Happy holidays to you too! Hope you have lots of fun~
| Morgomir chapter 20 . 9/19/2007
I love this story. The writing and the OCs are amazing. Keep up the good work.
| El Varon chapter 20 . 6/15/2007
This was a pretty good story.
Really liked the scenes in Michigan; you really portrayed the weather here well.
I thought the way you wrote it, alternating between the 1st person narratives was pretty interesting.
| LifeBringsMeOnlyTears chapter 20 . 2/24/2007
So I just finished this story and I'm getting ready to start on the sequel and I just wanted to say that I really really really liked this story. There was so much action and so much detail and character development that I think I fell in love with Logan all over again. You gave him so much more depth than most writers (including myself) could ever do. Just wanted to give you some props and say thanx for the awesome story!
| Capiorcorpus chapter 4 . 12/29/2006
| TheLittleLillith chapter 5 . 11/6/2006
this has been a fantastic story so far and I love the backround you made for Logan and Angela it's very unique and quite fascinating.
| Turiel Tincdaniel chapter 1 . 9/21/2006
| theywouldntletmedeletethis chapter 20 . 9/17/2006
I pert near flipped when I saw the "The End" Then when my eyes saw the "for now" I calmed back down again. Loved the ending. Very well done. :) Thanks for an awesome ride!
| sela103 chapter 20 . 7/12/2006
hi i read your story and i have to say: wow! i also had the idea of someone who's just like logan in my head and you just wrote the perfect story! i'm now going to start reading your sequel *smile* congrats!
| ButNothing chapter 13 . 7/11/2006
Chapter 13 and still looking good.
Though there are passages where IMHO things could be more - hmm - compact. Not that I'm complaining!
| ButNothing chapter 5 . 7/9/2006
Just finished the chapter 5.
Good stuff, my friend, good stuff indeed. Feels natural and logical so far (and I can't see why it wouldn't hold). Specially like your touch of AU in it, which in my books is always a sign of true creativity.
I'm definetely will finish this story.
| Ceobhran chapter 20 . 6/27/2006
aw, not the end:( but there's a sequel! hurray:)
loved the part about the cat got your tongue, and also the one about the sharpest knives! this story has been incredible. it is definitly one of the best written stories i have ever read, and the little things like the sharpest knives add a nice interesting touch. are you going to write a book? with your writing skills, you definitly could! anyways, the story rocked!
hurry up with the sequel!