|Reviews for The Horse and the Swan|
| ZapZapYotsuba chapter 11 . 3/2/2013
Never dull or boring! I am in love with your stories *.*
| teresa130 chapter 117 . 3/8/2012
I have just finished reading “The Rohan Pride Chronicles” and “The Horse and the Swan” story and I wanted to leave a review before continuing with “The Lady's War and the Gentleman's Engagement”. I was not sure what to expect when I started reading Gúthwyn’s tale but was pleasantly surprised when it turned out to be one of the more promising stories on . I enjoy your style and the rather untraditional plot – after years of reading fan fiction, one comes to expect certain plot twists, characters and outcomes but you have managed to give a nicely fresh albeit dark narrative.
There are minor some things that at times distract me from the story either because they are contradictory or rather repetitive. As I am an equestrian myself, I notice very acutely all the errors in this area. You did mention that you do not know much about horses – I would suggest that you find someone to consult with so that in a story about what is essentially a horse & rider based culture, there are no basic errors.
There are also some things about the plot as such that were somewhat confusing. For example, Gúthwyn’s character does not seem to mature in a moral sense. At the end of the Horse/Swan story, she is around 24 if I am not mistaken, having been back in normal society for 5 years. However, the portrayal of her actions and decisions are largely those of a somewhat naïve teenager of 15. Now, it would be understandable for her to be this way in the first years due to lack of socialization, but I think her personal growth should be somewhat more substantial. Take, as an example, her love for Borogor. Understandably she is emotional concerning this matter, but I do not find it believable for her to be just as emotional 6 years later as during the first time of his passing.
Another plot point that seemed somewhat illogical was Lothiriel’s scheming. Knowing that Lothiriel’s motive is her jealousy of Gúthwyn’s close relationship to Eomer and Elfwine, one would expect such a smart woman to arrange for Gúthwyn to be married and sent off away from Meduseld, rather than invoke even more pity from her brother (who obviously was never going to believe the spread rumors). Similarly I thought there was a discrepancy in regard to Elphir’s character which went from wise and kind to ignorant and rather cruel in a very short period of time, without any explanation for this change. I am not saying that it is not possible – but after the reader gets to know this character in a certain way, his abrupt transformation does not seem realistic without a truly good cause (and as said before, he left an impression of being quite wise, thus able to discern what was rumor and what was fact, very similarly to his father).
Of course the mentioned details are quite small - and overall I truly enjoyed reading your work :) I hope you will continue writing as you definitely have talent for it. I will now continue with the final story (do you plan for it to be the last one in Gúthwyn's tale?), which I am sure will be just as captivating as those before.
| WintersBlueRaven chapter 2 . 1/7/2012
First off, I congratulate you on writing such a magnificent fanfiction on a classic epic. Your portrayal of events, battles, scenery and each of the canon characters is almost flawless. There are moments where I've been on the edge of my seat in anticipation, near crying with sadness during the torture and whooping when Guthwyn enters each battle. You language is wonderful, and almost like reading Tolkien's brainchild in my hands for the first time.
Another thing is the sheer length of this series! How you've managed to plan, research and develop such a monster I can't even...I am trying myself, finding the huge weight of LOTR's lore and details too overwhelming to shift though. You have my respect for succeeding and blowing all other attempts out of the water!
Now, onto the cracked gem (as it were) of the story, Guthwyn. Boy o boy, your character is a right one. Never have I read such a believable OC insert as this girl. I am presuming she is still in her teens, going 18/19? I forget. Most times, I read this and admire Guthwyn's courage, strength and determination to fight - especially during the battle for Minas Tirith. Woah, did you blow me away there D. Her pride and love of her people is something I can relate to, as I am very patriotic to my clan and country.
But there are other times she has me tearing at my hair, swearing at my poor computer screen and downright loathing her. In this chapter, particularly. I was going to keep my silence until I'd completed reading what you'd written so far, buuut...
She is bound up in her grief so tightly, that she comes across as selfish and uncaring truly about the reasons of others. In Faramir's case he was only doing his duty. Guthwyn and Borogor were servants (even though unwillingly) of the enemy and therefore deserved no less than death. Rightly so. But in her blind grief, she sees only in black and white. I have had a similar situation, obviously not with death, and it is aggravating to look back on. It’s almost a childish response.
It’s a very frustrating to read, again with her and Legolas during the last story. She was proving Haldor right by treating the Legolas the way she did, and it annoyed me to no end. Although I know what happen to her was downright despicable, if she so wished to be strong she would not let if haunt her so. But then again, as you have mentioned, Haldor didn’t just torture her physically. I guess we’d have to be in her position to actually understand why she acts the way she does.
So I must congratulate you again for making this character so well rounded. She has plenty of teeth grinding, headache worthy faults that we ourselves possess. Guthwyn is obviously still in her development, but she is written beautifully, even if she sometimes rubs me up the wrong way xD
I shall shut up now, ranting over and finish by saying: You, dear author(ess), are a general fanfiction, ten walker and OC-inserter genius!
| The Suburban Coyote chapter 117 . 11/23/2011
Grrrrrrrrrr...Wanna know what would make us readers VERY happy? Have Guthwyn fall in love, kill off the rapists, make the glorious queen go insaine and break out in a bazillion pussball zits and then move her into a cave and let her rot. Eomer can remarry, and Guthwyn can adopt Elfwine and have a jillion kids of her own. :D Tun can have a daughter, an' Cobryn can marry the maid. :) The witch will be dead, the good guys will be happy, an' everyone can live happily ever after an' all that mushy stuff. XD Hearts and gumdrops and rainbows! 3
| The Suburban Coyote chapter 107 . 11/23/2011
God damned bastard! Kill the shit soon! Pleeeeeeeeeeese!
| The Suburban Coyote chapter 57 . 11/22/2011
! Gol-danged flippin' sonava pig-kissing shitload of gravy! *Climbs in through screen, beats king and queen repeatedly over the head with a sack of bricks* Lord love a duck, how flippin' dense can the pony-boy GET? RAWRRAWRRAWRRAWR! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE! !
| The Suburban Coyote chapter 42 . 11/22/2011
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR! Someone needs to whack that biatch queen! FEEL MY !
| Twittering lullaby chapter 35 . 11/18/2011
don't call me evil, but I don't like Tun. :
| The Suburban Coyote chapter 19 . 11/17/2011
"Not with that in your hands," Gúthwyn answered, gesturing towards his mug.
Isn't the man she's talking to one-armed?
| The Suburban Coyote chapter 3 . 11/16/2011
:D It's my birthday too, today! :D
| Kiiimberly chapter 117 . 5/15/2011
Yes, Haiweth. Elphir is mean.
Lothiriel's such a bitch. She needs someone to put her in her place. ARRGHHH.
Story of Guthwyn's life... UGH.
How, Gúthwyn wondered, could such a smart man—for intelligent he clearly was, if he maintained his realm so efficiently each year—have so little common sense?
| Kiiimberly chapter 116 . 5/15/2011
Legolas gives great advice. I was worried Guthwyn would suffer a panic attack when he put his cloak on her.
Eomer's being so understanding right now :)
| Kiiimberly chapter 115 . 5/15/2011
I'm so proud of Guthwyn. She is definitely not a coward. I think it takes a lot of strength to keep everything inside her especially around Lothiriel.
She must be devastated to lose everything she wants though: the training grounds, her independence, her horse, and Elfwine.
I loved this paragraph though. It's a great form of retribution against Amrothos. Admittedly, it would be better if Lothiriel suffered as well. The blame does lie mostly with her.
She would not have felt better even if she had known that right now Amrothos was too busy vomiting to hear his father's furious reprimands, that over the next few months he would become so ill that he was unrecognizable, that when she next met him he would be a gaunt, pale shadow of his former self.
| Kiiimberly chapter 114 . 5/15/2011
Right now, I really appreciate that Eomer is there for his baby sister. Even though I don't really want to, I'm going to bed now. Hahaha.
| Kiiimberly chapter 113 . 5/15/2011
Oh my god. It's 2 AM right now and I've been reading for hours to day (not to mention who knows how many this past week) but it's hard to stop. Guthwyn: please don't run away!