|Reviews for The Horse and the Swan|
| Andi-Scribbles chapter 30 . 7/6/2006
Oh, man, I can just see it already! You hinted at it before a little, but now I can see... Elphir's got his eye on Guthwyn! I can't decide if I like him or not, because of poor Tun... I want her to realize Tun loves her! Dang. That ruins my perfect plan... Oh well, you're the mighty authoress. I'm guessing whoever you pair her with it will be a good story... And, to tell you the truth, I don't like Lothiriel. She seems snobby. Hopefully she'll start being friends with Guthwyn and see what a wonderful person she is... Anyway, keep the chapters coming! I want more!
| Pen52 chapter 30 . 7/5/2006
Tun is getting some competition here, and dangerous competition at that. Elphir sounds like a maiden's dream, honestly, and he seems to be pursuing Guthwyn in a rather unpretentious way. I like it.
She is, naturally, oblivious to all of this.
Tun had better get his ass in gear and race back to Edoras before she wises up. :)
Oh, I loved the previous chapters by the way. I just red them all and was, one again, amazed at how fast you seem to write this. How do you do it without sacrificing the quality of your work for the sake of expediency? Because, you seem to be writing this faster and faster, and the quality of the chapters remains the same, or even increases. How?
No, really. I want to know. :)
The character development in the last few chapters for your other OCs has been remarkable. It was great to gain some insight in the workings of Lebryn's mind. The glimpse we had into his traumatic past struck me as very realistic and a poignant reminder that Guthwyn was not the only one to suffer through atrocities.
Perhaps this was the nudge she needed.
One pet peeve though.
I have noticed that Guthwyn has rarely, or never, been defeated in these sparring matches. And if she did somehow lose, it was because she forfeited the match.
Now, no one can win them all. I recommend that, if you write more of these sparring sessions, you let her lose occasionally. It would make her abilities seem more realistic.
The only time when something actually bugged me in your story, was the time when she defeated Aragorn in single combat. Seemed unrealistic to me.
But, this is a small detail in an otherwise great and engaging story.
Another thing. Would you consider writing more from the other character’s POV’s? I would like to know what goes on in their heads more.
I don’t know what you have in mind for the plot in the future, but I’ll make sure I stay tuned in. :)
| neFaerieous chapter 30 . 7/5/2006
Elphir is, um, what's that word for really nice...wonderful? fabulous? marvelous? amazing? Oh yeah! It's... totally doomed to fail to attract Gúthwyn's attention and it's so unfair but this is still a wonderful story so keep writing!
| Andi-Scribbles chapter 29 . 7/3/2006
Aww, poor girl! How could she think Eomer didn't want her there anymore? He loves her, even if he can be a pig-headed dolt... but that's beside the point. I was surprised to see Lebryn show some insight into the trauma he suffered... he seemed happy enough. Just goes to show that nobody escapes those kinds of things. Anyway, wonderful chapter (I feel so repetitive. But that's a good thing) and I want some more soon. Once again, I'm out of town right now, stealing time on my dad's laptop, so don't be alarmed if the reviews are a bit scattered. I'm trying to check for new updates every day!
| neFaerieous chapter 29 . 7/2/2006
Ah good, now we've seen that all of them are affected deeply by what lives they had to endure (that'd be Cobryn, Lebryn, and well duh, Guth). I'm curious as to what Lothíriel's thoughts about Gúthwyn are...does she like her, is she just curious, or is it something darker? Also good to see Gúthwyn's recovery continue, such that she does not puke at everything so much and that she finally sleeps knowing she belongs.
Keep up the excellent writing!
| neFaerieous chapter 28 . 6/30/2006
It's torture to read this! Which is the empathetic feeling you are going for, or something like it? 'Bout friggin' time Gúthwyn told Cobryn some of this stuff. His character is probably the best, aside from her wonderful sister, to help her out, and you did an excellent job of summarizing why. Now if her stupid brother would lay off the marriage ideas, she might actually find some resolution...?
| neFaerieous chapter 24 . 6/30/2006
"Éomer stared after her, wondering what had happened to the carefree, innocent sister he had once known."...I'm not buying that he's this ignorant. She told him what happened to her and his character seems to be entirely in the dark about her insecurities, oddities, and fears. It's too off, IMO.
| Grizelda chapter 28 . 6/30/2006
Yep, it's still utterly perfect. Does Guthwyn's physical reaction to her dream mean she's beginning to fight against these negative thoughts? I hope so and I hope there might be a time where she overcomes the darkness tormenting her. She'll never be truly happy until she does. At least she managed not to be sick this time:D
Please keep writing,
| Andi-Scribbles chapter 28 . 6/29/2006
NO! Post them as you finish them! I would've reviewed each chapter individually, but I was out of town for a week... but post them as soon as you finish each chapter- one of the greatest things about this story is posts are written in such a short amount of time! Please don't make me wait! I love this story!
| Orion'slover chapter 27 . 6/28/2006
i love your story, i just havent had time to read and review so i have been reading and ment to review when i had the time. sorry, absolutly love the story. i have a stupid question, sorry, but um... who is she talking to at the end of chapter 27? cant wait til the next chapter.
| Grizelda chapter 27 . 6/28/2006
Hm...me thinks you excel at the art of blackmail...or is it bribery?
POST THEM ALL NOW! DON'T YOU DARE MAKE YOUR READERS WAIT TILL THE WEEKEND.
Sorry about that, just got a little emotional for some reason. Anyway I must confess the "review" part can be quite difficult: What else is there to say except your writing is exceptionally good. At the bottom of this review window it says I should "comment on an aspect of the story that can be improved". Well there aren't any. It's all utterly perfect.
In fact the only thing I can think of doing is to feverishly conjecture on what is going to happen next. Personally, particularly after Guthwyn's reaction in this chapter, I'm having serious doubts about her ever being able to fall in love again and receive the fairy tale happy ever after which she deserves. Sniff. I really want to give her a hug:(
Anyway, please keep writing and post whenever you can,
| levaya chapter 27 . 6/27/2006
you've got a fan from holland
i absolutely adore your story
please don't wait with posting.
| Elena chapter 27 . 6/27/2006
Um, crazy much? Post them as soon as you can! I understand that you like getting reviews, but please! People will review if they want to. kthnxbai, luv.
| Pen52 chapter 24 . 6/24/2006
And the plot thickens.
Why do I get the feeling that Lothriel is not going to be a pleasant sister-in-law?
| neFaerieous chapter 22 . 6/21/2006
Wonderful as always. Am wondering why Éomer didn't try to stop Tun from leaving before, but glad to know Gúthwyn isn't retreating to a deep depression. Well, you established that the children kept her going. So will your avid readers get a happy (relatively) ending...or at least some single super happy event? Maybe? Maybe she'll suffer a concussion and forget everything! Maybe Tun will return and they'll live happily ever after! Maybe this reader is way too involved in the story and should just stick to the more constructive comments.
Thanks for the continuing entertainment, seriously.