Reviews for And The Clock Strikes One
FrancesOsgood chapter 1 . 8/29/2013
Ouch! This hurts my heart. Beautifully written though!
NS chapter 1 . 4/6/2008
Indescribably, unbelievably beautiful.

I am inclined to agree with orientalbunny regarding her views of the last line. It was poignant and cryptic and crushing. Your ability to write prose-like fiction is undeniable. I'm so incredibly impressed by you.

As far as orientalbunny's other comments and theories about your lovely story go, I honestly don't know if she's right or not. I do not have the ability to see symbolism, hidden meanings, or motifs if they are not pointed out to me. You and orientalbunny are way out of my league, so I hope you aren't offended by my lack of insight and literary intelligence. :)

In any case, I still love your writing!
Anchorite chapter 1 . 3/24/2008
Delightfully well-written!

Such imagery and sense of timelessness

Thank you for you lyricism. I am off to read the rest of your creations. :)
Skyrere chapter 1 . 5/9/2007
solea and orientalbunny have both legitimate and fully supported views on the last line of the short.

The story was beautifully written and flowed like warm honey into this wounded heart.

It slowly insterted the sweet dagger, and at the end, grew barbs and twisted in the wound.

I am bleeding inside.

I can't stop crying.

I am torn between praising you and curcing you.

I lost my dream,

a long time ago it seems,

and this has reopened the festering wound.

It is around here somewhere... my dream...

I just have to find the door back to it...

this is going into my favorites.

I can't help it.

Masochistic need to remind myself of my loss.

Whatever you do, don't give up your dreams for anyone or anything.

Who you are dies with the loss of your dreams.
Kogoro chapter 1 . 4/5/2007
blinkblink

I am at loss at what comment or praise to give you. I can tell that I'm baffled but that is no praise at all. It's undescribably beautifully written, and you kept me hanging at your every word. Thank you for having the guts to write this. Not many out there that can take a realistic point of view on the story and kill off beloved Jared, oh no indeed there isn't many if anyone? These are the stories that evoke flamers, but you don't get one from me, because... I already answered that question in the above, now didn't I.

I'll just surmise with saying that more people should really read this story! Have a swell day ;)
Leila84 chapter 1 . 1/31/2007
Great story! Wonderful writing style. I love the way the story flowed.
orientalbunny chapter 1 . 7/25/2006
I have given this review a lot of thought and would like to defend the last line of this oneshot; it has not turned the story "common," it is further evidence of the story's inherent eloquence. I truly believe not only has this story been written beautifully, "poetic" as Solea described it, but it was wisely crafted to emphasize an important theme.

The last line reads: "The book fell from my numb fingers, and I left it to rot there with the rest of me." The author has carefully excluded what part of Sarah "rotted." We do not see "and my love rotted" or "all my being rotted" only that some part of her wasted. I believe it is a metaphor for her childish notions or perhaps her naivety (belief in the false adage: happily ever after).

Consider the importance of setting here. When I first read this I wondered at the authors insertion of the junk heap when Sarah and Jareth were initially in Jareth's private garden. The junk heap is a place where childish items (intesely loved items) lose significance and rot. Jareth is placed in "the ghostly parody of her old haven", he becomes part of her room, something she had left behind in her old world. Jareth has become the cherished item she will now leave behind.

Jareth is also referred to as a father figure but Sarah also mentions how strange it is to realize at some point how fallable parents are. Jareth's fading away is Sarah's transitional period all over again - how she left her father to join Jareth is the age old transition from father's daughter to husband's wife. Only this time she is leaving the position as wife/or in this case lover to become something higher - an individual.

Sarah was naive in the idea that after her father's fall from grace that Jareth would be infallible. But we see the author has written with emphasis (Jareth speaking) "you mistake me if you think I can rescue you form every danger." Sarah has no crutch now to shield her from life's unknowns.

It is very interesting that in this story the author does not mention WHY Jareth all of a sudden is dying and I believe that this was done with a specific purpose in mind. Unknowingly, or at least subconsciously, though she dearly loves Jareth, she realizes she has no more need for him. It can even be inferred that Jareth's survival depends upon sarah and that he is not truly real. "You think I am alive then?" he often asks. This is also the very first time I have ever seen the Labyrinth reffered to as a "she." The line "she...grew... from me" is stretched out for further emphasis. In this case there is a direct correlation between the labyrinth and Sarah. At some point they (Jareth and Sarah) coexisted, feeding and supporting each other but then Sarah "grew away from him." She does not need him anymore.

And lastly (yes I know, finally! you're thinking) look at the placement of the last scene. Jareth lays in bed sleeping (dead?) and Sarah is at the window. It has come full circle, back at the beginning of the story but their roles are reversed. In the beginning Sarah would wake from sleep to see Jareth standing statue like by the window, watching, knowing more than she ever could. Now she has been set apart because even though she loves him she realizes she does not truly need him anymore. Sarah has now fully matured.

PS in case you can not tell, I am so impressed with this story and truly believe it is one of the best written oneshots I have ever come across concerning sarah and jareth. Bravo moonlover68, bravo!
FromMyBackyard chapter 1 . 7/18/2006
*sniff*

oh, these bittersweet endings.

How terrible for Jareth - just as he finds his desire, he has to leave it behind.

But...I suppose that's the way most things go. If we truly were able to keep what we desired, life would hold no mystery.

Perhaps that was part of his bargain. One brief moment in time with everything he wanted in exchange for his life.
DeamonFruba chapter 1 . 6/5/2006
Wow. That was extrememly sad. I almost cried. *sniff* no! look away! I am not crying... *starts to break down in tears*

OK. you get the point. IT WAS GREAT! You will definitely be hearing from me again.
MayzyGreen chapter 1 . 5/28/2006
This was an absolutely beautiful fic. I have to agree with everything Solea said - except the last. I found nothing wrong with the last line myself. I thought it was a very suitable ending and fit the character of Sarah as you wrote her. In your story she was completely dependent on Jareth, for her to give in at his death seemed entirely appropriate. People are weak. For you to express that aspect of human nature is as valid as depicting strength and resiliance.

Yours,

Danika
Solea chapter 1 . 5/5/2006
This will be a really weird review, so bear with me. Warning - some serious crit, but I've never posted crit for a fic that has arisen from the absolute excellence of an author's writing before.

To explain to you what went so horribly wrong with this story, I also have to explain to you that this is one of the best Labyrinth one-shots I've ever read. Even though my crit for you will be heavy, this fic is still going on my list of favorites and I will be sure to recommend your story to others.

There are a lot of one-shots that I've enjoyed, but in this one, you made me care for these characters like I only have in longer stories like Lady Rhiyana's "The Catalyst" or KL Morgan's "A Forfeit of Dreams". Your phrasing and images are so vivid, I really felt like I was there inside the Labyrinth with your characters. Also, most authors are horrible at writing with poetic language, but not you! Your fic was like reading a fairy story and a sensual poem at the same time. The whole thing was beautiful, creative, interesting, disturbing...where to even start with telling you how good this was? You are a wonderful writer and I am genuinely impressed!

Now for crit. This whole story fell apart in the very last line. The two things people never, ever want to see are self-pity and defeat. That last line gave your readers both. I'd leave you alone if the story was merely "sad", but that single line made me want to scream at your Sarah to wipe off the black lipstick, blow out her stupid goth candles and GET A LIFE. You can write a "sad" ending if you want, but that one suddenly turned your story from something magnificent into something wholly common. Gah! This story is too wonderful to end with the hackneyed "Sarah is nothing without Jareth and her soul will rot without him" garbage that everyone else writes when they are trying to write an ending that is "sad".

I urge you to re-think this fic so you can re-write that single last line. This fic is way too wonderful to be wasted on an ending like that.