|Reviews for Entry|
| Toastuh chapter 1 . 5/11/2006
The two spelling mistakes in the very first sentence set the tone for the rest of the work. It's angsty. It has formatting and grammatical errors. Casey is no longer a stoic, strong Cabot-wannabe. Here, she has somehow morphed into a whiny "no-one understands my PAIN" teenager. The use of 'threw' as 'through' makes me itch uncontrollably. And the lack of proper paragraphs, of commas, and of proper tenses are very annoying. It doesn't sound as if Casey is doing the talking- rather, the author is using Casey as a hand-puppet for personal tragedy.
That said, I am sorry you seemed to be so sad. A good way to work off the anger and/or sadness IS to write, but at least do readers the courtesy of asking someone to proof-read it, before some smart-ass comes along and starts whining about your punctuation abuse. Maybe, if that doesn't work, ignore the writing for a day. Come back to it a week later, and see if you still feel it absolutely necessary to post it on the 'net. If you still think it's good after that week, some more editing couldn't hurt. Editing never hurts.
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