|Reviews for Without You|
| ANAN chapter 1 . 9/29/2012
| Kennedy Leigh Morgan chapter 5 . 6/9/2006
This is pretty well done. I like it thus far, and I love the idea.
It seems like you've got a clear vision of Christine in your head and you've definitely given her a voice. I like the inserts of dialogue that illustrate that. It kinda seems like empty journal entries though. You've got a lot of description, like time and color and what she's eating or doing, but there's no feeling behind it. Apart from the dialogue there's not really any emotion at all. Just remember its a journal, it's supposed to be where she's writing her thoughts and feelings on her life, not just a time log for what she did on any given day.
I'd like to see some more interaction with her parents as well. It looks as it she's got a good relationship with her mom, if they're trading clothes and texting through debates, I love those details, but you need to build on them. For instance when it talked about how she wished she had her mothers hair, throw in some deep thoughts, show us how much she admires her mother -or if that wasn't what you were going for how much she envies her mother, or feels inferior to her. And with her dad having such a high profile job does she resent that he's so busy or is he her hero?
Excellent start though, again I love the idea! I look forward to reading more, keep writing!
| nichelle21 chapter 4 . 5/20/2006
I think the story needs more interaction between leo,annabeth, abd the daughter.
| kursk chapter 1 . 5/13/2006
Good first chapter, I just hope that youll give us more info in all of them soon, and that JD have a big family.
Post more soon.