Reviews for Legacy of the Rasengan I: Naruto
narut0-fan101 chapter 5 . 5/25/2006
tat was a good chptr
St. Alicon the Cursed Monk chapter 5 . 5/25/2006
good chap

Jutsu Ideas.

1.) Hand of Alicon no jutsu, an extremely powerful Ration(lighting) jutsu that surounds the users hands in deadly electricity, the justu sends bolts of electricity throughout the body when touched and causes temorary to life lasting inability using of that limb.
MaxFic chapter 5 . 5/25/2006
Hurry it up, sorry, bit impatient. I wanna see where this is going so get yourself in gear.
goose chapter 5 . 5/25/2006
for naruto second move, go with the body flicker. anyway like the story. update soon
neosildrake chapter 5 . 5/25/2006
good work so far. I like it, especially Naruto creating his own jutsus. However, I'm curious what the second jutsu is that Naruto has learnt from the forbiden scoll.

So, update please.
padfootstwin2 chapter 5 . 5/25/2006
Great chapter. I love the story so far.
Moshulel chapter 5 . 5/25/2006
Quite a nice retelling of the first episode in Naruto with quite a bit of originality in it, I enjoyed it and it made me crave for more. Now off to my comments.

The first part of the chapter was quite good, the two new jutsus in Naruto's arsenal representing a good adition for a master prankster and also for his future shinobi carrier. The one with the smokescreen seems similar to Kirikagure no Jutsu but you can't deny it's originality (the fact that it involves smoke which is a result of fire and that he exhales it was well thought).The second one would be Oboro no Jutsu in a hasty translation? It remembers me of Oboro Bunshin no jutsu although those two are totally different they have mostly the same use (it terryfies me to think about a combination between Kage Bunshin and this hazy field cough. All in all these suplementary jutsus fit Naruto pretty well. Also it seems his skills are quite fit for infiltration and evasion. The rest doesn't have too much differences from the manga.

The second part had a few things that i really liked, first the reasons why Iruka makes the hole class review Bunshin no Jutsu and why he blames Naruto for it and second the little comment about Hinata, (rushing it is not the answer) also remember that once asigned to teams interaction between him and the rest of the rookies should be close to zero untill the chuunin exam.

Next there is a little problem: you made the pass from a third point of view to that of Shikamaru quite abrupt and when i first read that paragraph it was puzling. Also you might want to check the program you use for check spelling ( I'm sure you wanted to say cosmic not cosmetic). These are probably the sole writing errors i found until now in this story :D, they are however compensated more than enoughf by your reasoning regarding Naruto's wish to invent unique jutsus ( 5 out of 5 stars for this one :D)

Your trip in analysing Mizuki was very good and left me without any commentaries except: Good Job! but i have a small question mark: are you going to use this bit?

"It would be a long few hours before he could safely make his move at getting what should’ve been his birthright." It would be very interesting if you do.

As for the rest it's hystory, the third's comment was however quite a nice adittion.

Now for the rest of my comments:

1. You should mantain Naruto's unpredictability and don't make him blow off everything he hid for so many years in one or two chapters (direct refference to him vs the Uchiha)

2. Try to make him NOT use his second tehnique from the scroll ( make him want a hidden ace etc). Also once he discovers the abilities of the sharingan make him very protective of his tehniques: "I worked for them and you want to steal them from me?" posiblly this would make him even more crazy about jutsu research lol.

3. Don't fall in the trap that many authors did (who made Sasuke copy the Kage Bunshin and pop he's able to make thirty or fourty of them) and remember that he has a bigger amount of chackra than any other genin.

Now for your challenge, sugestions and opinions:

1. Not a defensive jutsu (they don't fit yet)

2. Not jutsu's used exclusivly by other nins ( such as those used by Jiraya and Tsunade ), not the Rasengan and the flicker tehnique since the Fourth wouldn't have placed them in the scroll because of two reasons:

a) They were his trademark jutsus

b) He taught one of them to Jiraya

3. Take in account that there has to be a reason for which they were forbiden (and seeing that the chidori is freely taught by Kakashi later to Sasuke it's obvious that the rasengan isn't forbiden but rather kept a secret just like the Hiraishin no jutsu)

4. The class of the jutsu has to be A or greater.

5. You might want to use a jutsu that has connections to the Kage Bunshin, this explains why Kage Shurinken could be in there (something among the lines of: Jutsus not forbiden but using the same principle)

6. Not a summoning tehnique (you need the summon contract for that)

My suggestion? For now either Kage Shurinken no jutsu or Bunshin Daibakuha (Clone Great Explosion) since both work great with the Kage Bunshin (also you can make Naruto unable to use the second until the chuunin exam [something among the lines of dificulties with the fuse lol] but this is just a suggestion. Also later you could add a few other support jutsus to his arsenal( such as Shunshin no jutsu)
LuciferIsDivine chapter 5 . 5/25/2006
Well that wasn't surprising. but anyways update soon please.
the DragonBard chapter 5 . 5/24/2006
Nice.

The only things I can say about whatever technique Naruto learned, is that it has to be powerful, and it should be a kinjutsu. Maybe something like Lee's Lotus attacks, or like the Darkness technique Hiei uses in YYH. Something that's dangerous to the user as well as the target.
LoveDetermination chapter 5 . 5/24/2006
Great work yet again. Delightfull to read.

As for Jutsu...

Shiruken Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, yes I know a bit lame, but just an idea. Also just imagine the combos he could put together... good or bad by your point of view.

I cant think of other particular jutsu, but considering Naruto's list of offensive jutsu, perhaps something defensive would do well, or even stealthy.

Hope I helped even just a little. Ja!
Dragon Man 180 chapter 5 . 5/24/2006
How about the second jutsu Naruto learned is a sort of shockwave punch. Basically he releases alot of chakra with a punch to send a chakra wave at an enemy. This can hit targets he just misses since the wave is wider than Naruto's fist, and can add more force to enemies he does hit. I can't access my usual translator, but I'd call it Shockwave Punch. Sort of the basis for Tsunade's super strength, plus an excellent chakra control exercise.
Lita of Jupiter chapter 5 . 5/24/2006
I believe that the second technique he was able to learn should be something completely different from Kage Bushin... instead of an offensive technique, it should be a deffensive one... or a spying one... maybe even Jirayas deffensive hair technique... it would certanly be funny when he went against Gaara... one sand ultimate defense... the other a ultimate hair deffense XD

or some other techique like these: [summaries from wikipedia (they have extensive well written section on the justus of Naruto]

Hiru Bansho: Boka no Jutsu (Leech All Creation: Attack Prevention Technique)The user merges with or within a nearby object, taking on its properties, and avoiding any damage. When Orochimaru used this Jutsu during his fight against the Sandaime Hokage, he leaves behind an illusion of himself getting barraged by the Sandaime's attacks in order to confuse his opponent.

Meisai Gakure no Jutsu (Hiding Camouflage Technique)This jutsu renders the user invisible to the naked eye. Abilities such as the Sharingan, and even the Byakugan, can see through it however. Kabuto has used this technique, or perhaps one very similar, in the Shi no Mori (Forest of Death). However, since Kabuto has only used this Jutsu once in the Naruto anime, this is not considered canon by most fans.

\)

Name: Shunshin no Jutsu, 瞬身の術, literally "Body Flicker Technique"

Type: D-rank, Supplementary A high-speed movement technique. It is described as 'appearing with the wind and disappearing like the wind.' A very basic jutsu, it appears that most shinobi above Genin-rank know it.

Using chakra to activate the body, the user is able to move from one point to another with extreme speeds. This super-fast movement is almost impossible to see with the naked eye. To a normal person, it would seem as if the user has teleported. The amount of Chakra used depends on the distance and elevation between the user and the destination. Uchiha Shisui, one of the most talented Uchiha, was feared as Shunshin no Shisui (Shisui of the Body Flicker). This is most likely a reference to this jutsu.

Tobidogu (Projectile Weapons)

Name: Tobidōgu, 飛道具, literally "Projectile Weapons"

Type: No rank, Offensive, Short to mid-range (0-10m)

Users: Tenten, Uzumaki Naruto

In order to store and use large items or various weapons, the user can unleash them by utilizing summoning scrolls. In this way, the person won't be burdened by carrying weighted artillery when going up against an opponent.

Those are some of the jutsus i would like to see performmed!

I would ask you to make sure that Naruto owns more than a pair of clothes... so that if he wants to underestimated he can be but that when he is going to be serious he can wear something else... like you said he had to be a good tatictian and sealth specaillist to be able to pull those pranks and a person like that I believe would hardly go into the forest of death wearing Orange...
D2Killerz chapter 5 . 5/24/2006
Hm maybe Chidori well that would be far-fetched or maybe a summoning? Nah what about one of the 4th's jutsu? Hiraishin no Jutsu. Also if you want to know a s-rank jutsu that i made just ask me.
Wulfenbach chapter 1 . 5/24/2006
its all a bullshit dream in the end, only a dream. The village would NEVER allow Naruto to become Hokage, even if he is friends witht he Tsunade and Jiraiya and mnay other powerful Konoha ninja. Do you realise how mnay ninja are actually in the village itself? Naruto's little group is pathetically tiny in compairison! From recent chapters in the manga I've seen that the council has more sway than the Gondaime would like. Naruto will NEVER be Hokage, the village as a whole will NEVER admire him and more importantly while they respect his status as a Hokage, they will never respect him as a person, which in the end I know Naruto will value more so than the grudging respect he is due towards the Hokage position.

Someone needs to knock some realisum into Naruto.
Simply waiting chapter 4 . 5/24/2006
pretty good...i dont like sasuke...hes to...stuck up?..along with other things...
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