|Reviews for Legacy of the Rasengan I: Naruto|
| LoveDetermination chapter 7 . 5/31/2006
Nice. I loved the fight scene. Not considering the true purpose, it was cool to see Naruto not make a complete fool of himself.
As for Kakashi. I think you did well. Your explanation on why hes late even fits him. I always thought Kakashi was one of the few to see through Naruto's mask including maybe only the Sandaime (perhaps hinata *wink*) but not Iruka, as he took time to get over Naruto's tenant. I just wonder if you will have Kakashi act more on Naruto's situation then he has in the series.
Keep up the awsome work
| Engelmohr2004 chapter 5 . 5/30/2006
let the second tecnice he learned be the rasdigan
| Jabode chapter 6 . 5/29/2006
Couple problems... You have yet to take more than a few steps away from the canon in 6 chapters. If your just going to re-write the canon, assume we know it and skip to the point of divergence.
Second, how is this different than canon? He acts the same, has the same powers, friends, etc... He might have the rasengan, but in reality, he shouldn't be able to preform the justsu at his current level. Why even write a story if its the same as the books?
| Junky chapter 6 . 5/28/2006
Hm. How will he stop Sasuke from copying his techniques?
| James D. Fawkes chapter 6 . 5/28/2006
Could you possibly...I don't know...make the chapters longer?
| Soul-Harvester chapter 6 . 5/28/2006
Hey, me again. Pretty good job on this chapter except for a few grammar mistakes. I'm not really one to lecture though seeing as I suck at it. Also what's this new jutsu and what does it do? Update soon.
| Dragon Man 180 chapter 6 . 5/28/2006
Man, I hate seeing Naruto so down and having to deal with team mates who dislike him. I hope he proves he isn't quite the deadlast everyone thinks he is soon! I'm glad Shikamaru seems to have an idea of how strong Naruto really is though!
| Moshulel chapter 6 . 5/28/2006
Not too many things to discuss about, this chapter follows the cannon quite a lot but there are some changes that are wellcomed.
Now onward towards the comments:
The chakra requirements for that jutsu make it very difficult to integrate in the story before the chuunin exam part 2 simply because of the facts that:
a) He wouldn't have enough chakra for it
b) He would need quite an opponent to use it (Hint Gaara)
Hinata's reactions are quite good (for both her curiosity and for her blushing when she thinks he looks at her) but you had to add a little dissapointment when she found out she wasn't on his scope.
Not much to tell here although the Sandaime's thoughts on the opinion of the single minded fools was good to see.
A classic, but there was something that bothered me: the subtle hint that Shikamaru might like Ino, i don't think Ino is troublesome enuogh for him :P. CoughTemariCough
The interaction is as expected Hopeful Fool Fan Girl Stupid Avenger, meaning that there is none, i would however liked a few more aditions here.
Shikamaru being the only one aware of Naruto's true potential is quite believable seeing that he's a genius and all, the others should probably remain clueless especially Sasuke seeing that Naruto hates his guts.
Now the Kage Bunshin-Enmaku no Jutsu combination has a lot of potential against the Sharingan(seeing as the Sharingan DOES NOT have the ability to see through stuff ) [enmakusmokescreen)
Well you could modify a little bit Naruto's causes to avoid the second fight, such as him realising he didn't wanted to reveal his secret, etc.
Now for tidbits from me :P:
1. Using the smokescreen jutsu should make him develop his other senses even further. It would be a good thing if this jutsu (Enmaku no Jutsu if u like) will become a favorite for him in combat especially after seeing the efficienci of Kiri Gagure no jutsu.
2. The fight with Kakashi:
a) Don't make Kakashi use the Sharingan on them (reserve that for later)
b) Give Naruto a keener analytical mindset about the hole combat, but make it seem like he's still a fool he's playing his mask after all ne ;) )
c) Have him analyze the Jutsu's used in combat and make him search (after the exam) for ways to counter them. It's not necesarry for him to actually have the means to counter them but it's rather important for him to know what counters them.
Musings and stuff:
I suggest you NOT to drop Naruto's mask except in dire situations (such as the fight against Gaara) after all this hole fic centers on him using the unpredictability principle: "If you are strong make the enemy think you are week". Off course you can also make him even more serious after the thirds death (nothing better than a tragedy to make him even more focused)
The way i see it the fic tends to the fact that Naruto has a HUGE potential and it will only increase (him trully being a ninja more than any of the other genins), and after the meeting with Jiraya the tapping should begin.
Original jutsu's: You should have him develop an original jutsu before the meeting with Jiraya it doesn't have to be extremely strong (best if it is around B-class) but it should be his own.
Btw it's Hyuuga not Hyuga.
Anyway thumbs up and come with an update fast :P. Good luck in writing the next chapter ;).
| saiyan prince1 chapter 6 . 5/28/2006
nice, keep it up
| BlueTdragon chapter 6 . 5/27/2006
When is Naruto going to drop his act?
| LoveDetermination chapter 6 . 5/27/2006
Hm. I do like your slight changes. I only wish there were more. However good job on integrating the changes into the storyline so far. I eagerly await the next changes you add into the story.
| Monks1 chapter 6 . 5/27/2006
hmm... i bet Naruto's gonna use that new jutsu he learned from the scroll... if it takes alot of his chakra... it must be really strong! even if Naruto has next to zero chakra control...
| Zephyrical chapter 6 . 5/27/2006
well... it wasnt that bad but... Naruto is quite stupid in your fic... that tends to annoy me but thats just an opinion.
What I did notice is, you bascially just wrote the normal anime, again. The only thing orginal was Chapter 1.
When you go for a rewrite, try changing things dramaticly, not very little.
| Neccor chapter 6 . 5/27/2006
So far so good. I am also exploring the possabilities of an early Rasengan
| Dirby chapter 5 . 5/27/2006