Reviews for COM:TNV Rough Draft
D.J. Scales chapter 11 . 12/28/2015
Not bad. I like where this draft went.
D.J. Scales chapter 5 . 12/28/2015
Now this is funny. I mean Love the Yugioh Reference and the fact that Riku has this option.
D.J. Scales chapter 4 . 12/28/2015
Nice job.
Omegamorph chapter 14 . 1/27/2013
Used to think Giovanni didn't make sense as a boss fight, but after reading the Adventures manga and seeing recent episodes of the anime I think he could work.
WhiteHero chapter 1 . 1/12/2013
This looks good!
Omegamorph chapter 15 . 9/4/2012
Just take your time. No rush at all. As for Yensid's Tower I think I have a good idea that it might be a certain central hub from a certain game. ; )
Darth Necron chapter 15 . 9/2/2012
All this time, and I really wish you went with my suggestion for how to deal with Chain of Memories and just focus on what was important since I always saw the memory levels as near filler in Chain, but its your choice. To be honest, I don't know how you mean to improve this, its just that it all ready seems faithful as a Nintendo adapting with solid writing as it is, so it would seem ill be in for a surprise. So, you really intend to do Recode after 2? Are you sure, Most of code is yet another rehash of the Kingdom Hearts storyline, you really want to cover those same old worlds again instead of Birth by Sleep or Dream Distance? Well, that's your choice, to me I just see Re as a disgrace to the series and more filler then anything.

Well, if this means a even more uber story then I am all for it, theses things you did not impalement sound intriguing. Looking forward to how this turns out, hope your Writers Block is able to be crushed.

Oh, lastly. Its been a while, getting close to half a decade and I hope you did not forget about me, do you think you will ever be able to get to volume two and beyond in Tales of the Cosmic Wars? I been waiting for a long time now, I know you been busy but, I do hope to have the time to check out the rest of my story one day, and hope you can see how I hopefully progressed since Volume one, though I managed to revamp that to a bit heh.

Well, I don't think I ever got a response last time, but, I am still keeping my fingers crossed that you have not given up on me or this story and I would like to think I am not wrong in either account. In any case, good luck with pulling this off, till the next time Key.
Neros Urameshi chapter 15 . 9/1/2012
A new version? That's no problem. I can wait.
Aldamonburst chapter 15 . 8/30/2012
looking forward to it!
JakeCrusher chapter 15 . 8/30/2012
What are your plans for the other Kingdom hearts games, Re:Coded, Birth by sleep, Dream drop distance and 350 something days.
Twilightroxas7 chapter 15 . 8/30/2012
no problem btw I pm you.
VISION-KING chapter 1 . 11/26/2011
Hi again, been awhile?

If you ever do more of this story with the 'Kirby' character, here's a SUPER idea! Have Kirby transform into 'Mike Kirby' either in this story or possibly your future works, cause if you've seen the TV series, it's known to be the most dangerous ability used on both friend and foe. You'll have a hoot of a time with that! But like I said, if not in this story, perhaps the future work, like a Kingdom Hearts II, I just don't know, but I'm just supporting whatever decision you make of this idea.
V.I.S.I.O.N-K.I.N.G chapter 14 . 10/11/2011
Greetings KingdomKey23.

I am...The VISION-KING, a man of VISIONS, and I must say, I've seen your work in the past, and I enjoy this Kingdom Hearts work of yours. I truly hope to see it all posted for the rest of us to see your work?

I do have some ideas that you could use to add in the suspension, along with the comedy?



Here's one, since I can't tell what's happen from belong here, I wonder if Luigi still has that bat Cid gave him? If he does, you can recall the Smash Bros series of him using the bat to whack, and even show that it glowed when concentrated enough to deliver a strong impact home-run effect on objects and of people?


Also, the part where in the Smash Bros Melee and even Brawl, showed Luigi crunching himself down, and trying to launch himself like a rocket? The first few times, ended with small damage effects, but...from the the right time moments or just enough struggle concentration, he exploded off that caused major damage to anyone that was hit by him and nearly sent out quite a few meters and feet away?

I believe you once did that when Luigi shot himself into Cid's special glass room?




Now here's an idea when battling Larxene, Luigi could use the bat to, pardon the pun, or it could be use as a bad joke, to 'bat away the daggers coming at him to make a strike and put him out' sorta way? Also, an interesting idea would be if his metal bat got stuck in the wall and he tries to pull it out, leaving Sora to fight alone? Then from so much steam blowing out the plumber's ear, he explodes off like a rocket, and bashes the unexpected Larxene which not only catches her off guard and weakens her, but gives Sora that one shot to finish her off!

~You gotta admit, this kinda battle perks your curiosity, am I wrong? Just imagining it is something not very much seen, expect when making Luigi look good and funny at the same time? If you want, you can have Toadsworth aid the plumber to pull his bat out, but takes note to point out Luigi is turning red and is making boiling steam pot noises while the green man ignores them all to still pull the bat out?


Another suggestion is where Luigi keeps with him or finds a few power tools that would aid the plumber,'s one that came from theSmash Bros Melee and even in Brawl, the Super Mushroom that makes anyone that touches it grow big, image that kinda excitement that would be seen? I can image the plumber making this statement to all those that hear him 'Look at me, I'm ma living large, and I ama in charge!' kinda statement before stomping on his foes or giving them karate chops. Heck, maybe even show the move he and Mario can use by grabbing their opponents to spin around real fast and then lets them go to bash against stuff, weather big or small, that move will give off some damage? Even a normal fireball as Super size would give Luigi a huge advantage? But you know what could be even better...if Luigi used both a Super Mushroom, and a Star power to not only be large, but be invincible against powerful foes like Marluxia during perhaps one or two of the final fights after the clone? (Which if you are doing the scene behind the door that has a larger foe before it's defeat, and reveals a third battle against him?)

P.S. Here's two more ideas he could say during his giant Super size stage. Like if he gets attack by air-attackers, he could say 'Ouch! Mama Me-ah! Being 'Big' isn't it all crack up to be? It just makes me, a BIG Target!' and here's another for if he trips and begins to fall down on enemies...and/or his allies before making a big boom sound, he slowly gets up while remoting this statement. 'Guess it's true what they say, the bigger you are, the harder you fall? And boy, was mama right about that one?', so if these are good, you can use them in your stories?


Other ideas?


Now as far as I know it, Luigi has the Poltergust 3000 for sucking and reverse blow, and Mario's F.L.U.D.D. device for firing water cannons? The metal bat is something, of course, there are other weapons he uses from different games, even some from the Smash Bros. Universe? Such things like the golf-club, tennis racket, the Super Hammer, heck, I be surprise if he gets his own Race Car from Mario Kart Wii in your story where someone builds it and it become a handle device he can activate to use a vehicle mode for quick run transports and even use one of his select weapon choices to add in his speedy attacks?

~But for even grander works for Luigi, I'm thinking that his Final Smash could make an appearance, the 'Negative Zone' which you can look up, it's a powerful move that...well, I don't know if you would be interested in using this BIG move for either in your Chain of Memories a possible Kingdom Hearts II type Nintendo Version? I guess, that's where only you can decide what to do with this?


Thoughts: Now I don't know if you got plans for a Kingdom Hearts II, but I'm guessing you use Wario and Waluigi as the Pete character, even using one to be Captain Justice and the other as Captain Dark from Birth By Sleep to explain the two different roles the other one played, who knows?

~Why, you can almost use many moves Luigi and Mario used in the Smash Bros Melee to their Brawl moves which were dubbed Special up to their Final Smash Moves?


You know, it was from a part of your Kingdom Hearts story I made a bit of my own work from some scene ideas from it. If you like to check it out, you might like it and...possibly my other stories that are either complete or still in the works? I know that I'm also good friends with JusSonic, a good buddy of yours who also likes my Kingdom Hearts story, and let me tell you, I made it into something that's never had an idea to ever be used, sorta like yours, but different, like many others? JusSonic and I even have a organization group of our own if you've seen it in his latest stories of describing Authors like Organization XIII, but differently. I have most of the details on my profile along with the list, if your interested in wanting some info on some Nobodies, but with slit changes to them for easier descriptions, etc. before looking up on what to add or was left out to have been changed?

In either case, I do hope we can be good friends and I'll wish you good luck on finishing up this Chain of Memories work, and maybe like many others, can't wait to see if you'll do a Kingdom Hearts II or not, just have to be patient? For now, if I've been a bit helpful to you with my review suggestions and additions, etc. you can use them however you like, for me...I've always seem to like going out with my very best to make a few things...'flare' in style to really catch everyone's attention? Might even explain how my owen Kingdom Hearts is so popular, but I'll continue to work on it by the start of 2012 because I'm posting a story that non have yet to show a full complete model of an orignal work which, since they know me so well, see that when I post something of a crossover, I aim to complete it?

Oh well, I think you got enough out of me, in any case, keep doing your best, find free time to do your work, and if it helps, add a little music to jolly the mood? Sometimes, the right music can get people up with an inspiration of an idea from hearing and imaging it? Most others, just watch, study, and catch the details and scene work happening from any movie or game they are working on? Till then, this is the VISION-KING, saying do your best, and hope to see the results real soon? Thanks for checking this out, and if you want to be apart of our group, just speak to Jus, he'll let me know? Bye...
FEARFAN chapter 1 . 12/9/2010
This is great.

Again, I was going to do something like this, but you beat me to the punch.

If your curious about a massive project of mine that I'm doing, go to Facebook and type in "Kingdom Hearts: Reign of Darkness" on the search bar. You will be surprised.
Ciaran Doherty chapter 14 . 11/24/2010
is the next chapter going to be based on riku next?
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