|Reviews for Blue Monarch|
| Coolmik chapter 23 . 5/27/2008
Incredible. That's how I would sum up your fanfiction in a single word. It's made me feel a variety of emotions. I got into AYA when it first came out, and over the years after finishing the anime and some of the manga, I moved on with life.
Just a few days ago, I found my AYA collection and got back into it. Needless to say, when something interests me, I usually speed through and finish it. I finished watching the first and second season of AYA and it really made me feel sad that the series hasn't really continued ever since then. So what did I do? Go to FFnet of course! I finished your fanfic in a single sitting, hahaha. I really have to learn to control myself. )
Now then, let's get to my actual review.
It was really hard after just watching the anime to see how much pain Aoi was going through in this story. After seeing all of those happy times with Kaoru in the anime, to see it fall apart like this really hits close to home. It really hurt to see how introspective Aoi was throughout this fanfic, but I can only agree that it does match her character.
Aoi has lived for so many years doting on a man that she hadn't met for so long. It was her dream from Day One to be the best wife that she could be for Kaoru. To have such a dream shattered in the manner it did really made me feel a lot of pain. I'd like to say that Kaoru wouldn't ever do anything like cheat on Aoi, but then again, he's pretty much the only guy in the story aside from the other minor characters.
Seiji was a very touching character, and I'm glad that he was there for Aoi, supporting her in any way that he could. But ultimately, it came down to what Aoi could do for herself. Seiji and Miyabi could only do so much to help her with her grief, but Aoi was the only one that would be able to settle things.
The flowers were incredibly deep and provided a lot of subtle meaning. The imagery in your fanfic was very effective; I could basically feel the cool breeze tickling my cheek, as well as how cold Aoi's hands would get. Each and every description, ranging from the flowers to the weather amplified all of the emotions that readers take from the story.
I'm embarrassed to say that I did not catch onto Aoi's suicide until the Epilogue where it had a Sakuraba Funeral. I'm not really versed in Japanese terms/traditions/rituals, so it was really a surprise finding out what really happened. In retrospect, I can see the foreshadowing that was placed in your story. All of it pointed to this eventually happening, but I guess just the thought of a character death really surprised me. It was just so different from everything that I had taken from the anime that it really stood out. But then again, now that I think about it, I can only assume that it would be in her character to do something like that. After all, she had spent several years supporting herself and pushing herself just thinking that one day she would meet Kaoru.
All in all, I only have good things to say about this fanfiction. I was hoping that you had other AYA stories, but it seems as if this is the only one that you've published. The last review on this fanfic was from last year, so I'm afraid that I'm really late to the party. I know that it's quite possible you won't be reading this review, but I wanted to put it here just in case.
Thank you for spending so much time putting your thoughts into this fanfiction. It's made me look so much deeper into the characters, and made me appreciate the series even more. Please continue writing with the same quality because the way you write flows easily.
Feel free to email me at any time. I'd be happy to talk more about any topic at all.
| bigdave chapter 23 . 9/23/2007
only thing that i feel would make this story possiably better. i know by reading your notes that you were making kaoru into a complete bastard but in the scene where he was going through the box of items he was keeping if you had written that kaoru had started to cry over knowing what he had lost would at least make him human.
overall a very good story.
| Krimzonrayne chapter 23 . 9/7/2007
The story is beautifully done. But the thing is... even though you portray it in the light which I can understand and sympathize, ultimately, Aoi reason for killing herself is simply too weak.
As you've said so herself, a boy surrounded by so many temptation bound to make a mistake. Given that statement, is his sin so terrible that Aoi can never forgive him for it? As another reviewer pointed out, looking at the story objectively, in the end Aoi killed herself because Kaoru cheated on her prior to marriage... and, from what I gather, once.
In the end, it's a beautiful story, but I still, in all honest, cannot blame Kaoru. Because to err is only to be human.
| Anime-Jrockloverqueen12 chapter 23 . 2/3/2007
I know i just reviewd, but i forgot to say something,the meanings of the flower really went with their personalities...did i mention i love this story?
| Anime-Jrockloverqueen12 chapter 1 . 2/3/2007
whoa...that was AWESOME! your writing style was excellent and i could almost FEEL the characters pain. You made it actually seem liable to happen! (scary) I honor you with the Jrockloverqueen12 award for one of the best stories i read. hang it on your wall!
| NeverBreakXPact chapter 23 . 12/3/2006
Wow that was amazing, very nice job !
| Makuhari-Fan01 chapter 23 . 7/30/2006
Excellent story. Hard to take, don't belive it would happen for a moment, but still an enthralling read. (Enough so to chase a friend off of his computer so I could finish reading it!)
Temptaion or no, a person does not change overnight, but a small change early on can mean a lot later.
Bastard Kaoru's budding indifference can be hinted at in your flashback of his encounter with Seiji. Seiji was hurt in their fall, and Kaoru didn't seem to care, since he had 'won' Aoi. All his maltreatment at the hands of a grandfather who dispised his existence made him an expert at hiding his emotions and looking for the advantageous selfish opportunity at every turn. He accepts Aoi probably because he thinks her foolish devotion means he can use her. You could even tie a few of the manga flashbacks into your story. Kaoru teases Aoi because he doesn't care and just wants to be mean to a little girl. Years of indifference towards the consequences of his actions make it easy for Kaoru to betray Aoi, and renders him incapable of seeing what he has lost until it is much too late. I think even then he never learns, since he talks of a arranged marrige between a Hanabishi and a Sakuraba with Seiji. Didn't that start all the pain in this story in the first place? One hopes Kaoru and Seiji are not doomed to repeat history.
Aoi's Kaoru, and the Kaoru loved by many who love the story, would have fought Seiji out of the challenge or reckless anger, but on seeing Seiji hurt would have been the first to go for help. Aoi see's this and her young love grows, Koaru helps Seiji after an accident and perhaps gains an ally in the Sakuraba. (Who of course later gives Aoi a certain address.) Kaoru may go on to tease Aoi, but it is just for fun, and not out of even unconcious meaness. Years pass and maltreatment by an uncaring grandfather makes Kaoru cold and able to hide his emotions, but he unconciously perseveres, and is eventually rewarded with his 'True Blue Love,' and the friendship of the others in his new 'family.' This Kaoru, tempted time and again throughout twelve manga, (so far,) would never betray Aoi, despite the temptaion, because the idea of doing so would never occur to him. (Beside! Miyabi would kill him!) (Naive perhaps, but I've always been a bit romantic at heart.)
About who it might be, it could be Chika. She moves in as a first year High-schooler just as Kaoru passes his gradute school entrance exams. That makes her fifteen. A year or two in graduate school and she's not 'lolli-con' to Kaoru anymore.
All other things being the same, if Aoi had moved on and forgotten Kaoru, then Kaoru might have wound up with Mayu as in your story. (Provided her parents did not object as Aoi's did.) A more likely scenario would be winding up with Taeko or Tina just to get far away from his past, (southern Japan or the United States,) after graduation.
Once again, an excellent story. With such a good grasp of the characters, PLEASE write us an AYA fic that's not so darn bleak!
| GlazedAndConfused chapter 23 . 7/17/2006
Damn. Just... damn.
I really don't know what to say about this story. Granted it's very good, and very well-written. You kept them very close to their original personalities in the manga and anime. The scene describing Aoi's suicide really struck a chord, as did the funeral and remembrance scenes afterwards.
I have to agree with the previous review, however... while this story is a very realistic possibility of what could happen if Kaoru ever broke his vow of fidelity to Aoi, I really can't imagine him ever doing that. I'm not saying that it wouldn't ever happen; after all, like you mentioned, someone is bound to give in to temptation when surrounded by it every day.
Aoi committing suicide is very much in character for her; after all, after being unshakeably devoted to Kaoru's memory for over 18 years, focusing on nothing more than being as best a wife as possible for him, the revelation that he has been unfaithful to her is bound to make her feel that all her hard work and effort was for nothing. Ultimately, given her feelings for Kaoru, she chose the way out that seemed the most fitting in her opinion.
But I digress. You pulled off a brilliant story that brought a tear to my eye, and I would recommend it to any Ai Yori Aoshi fan. And as for "Necessary Evil" and "Home" on MM... while they're both good, well-written pieces of literature, they are unrealistic on the whole as regards to character reactions.
| Jack Faros chapter 23 . 7/13/2006
Ahh...I honestly don't know how I feel about this story. By no means is it a bad story; quite the contrary. It was well written, well thought out, well planned. It was a perfect story in any sence of the word that comes to my mind.
But then on the other hand, it's just so different from what comes to mind when thinking about AYA. When I think of AYA, I think of Aoi and Kaoru, and there love for each other. Basically, what you refered to as Aoi's illusion in the prologue was my mental stamp of all that was and is Ai Yori Aoshi. The thought of Kaoru being unfaithful, or of Aoi being so sad is just such an alien concept to me. You made your point well, and I agree that given the situation, it's more than a little likely that Kaoru would fall into temptation eventualy, but even so, I could just never imagine it happening. I could however imagine Aoi's reaction, and I can't see it being much different then what you've presented.
This is why I have such a hard time figuring out how I feel about this story. As someone who loves well-written literature, (fan-fics being no exception) and someone who's a fan of AYA, and a generally romantic optimist at that, I'm filled with conflicting emotions.
To be honest, I knew that someone would atleast attempt suicide early on in the story, but I believed that it would be Kaoru. It became obvios that it would be Aoi pretty quickly, but I didn't want to admit it until I knew for sure. That assurance came in Act 4, Scene 3, during Aoi's conversation with Miyabi, where she displayed text book euphoria, and of coarse the final ominous (If still very obvious.) line, "Sayonara, Miyabi."
I shed a tear when I read the line about Aoi tying her ankles together. As someone who spends most of his time reading Japanese history, I recognized it as jigai imediately, and braced for the worst.
| VnikkiR chapter 22 . 7/8/2006
It's me again, haha. I just realized that my first review was incomplete. FFN didn't submit my whole review! Ew ( Anyway, I took the time to read some of the other reviews too. I agree with someone that said your story should have more reviews because it's so good! Lol... and regarding the "why would Aoi kill herself over what Kaoru did to her", I hate to admit it, but I didn't like the fact that she kills herself. I'm not saying the suicide makes the story bad, it's just that in my personal opinion, suicide is like giving into weakness and it diminishes the strength that Aoi always had, even when it wasn't apparent. It's kind of like, "I'd never kill myself because of THAT [s.o.b.]". Perhaps it's the female empowerment part of me that's talking, but the fact that she dedicated herself and her life solely for the purpose of being his wife irritated me at times almost to the point of disgust(this was when I was watching the anime). But I guess it's because of that that she felt there was nothing more to live for and did it anyway ( Sigh sigh. Oh yeah, FFN only allows 1 review per chapter so that's why I went backwards, hehe... ok I'm going, I'm going...
| VnikkiR chapter 23 . 7/8/2006
Ah, I finished it! I'm usually more into the romance genre, but this story was just brilliant. It was complete and thorough... well thought out... very creative and original while sticking to the character of the actual anime. I could feel my heart breaking in every scene. It was very good and I definitely enjoyed it. I'm really sorry for whatever happened in your life regarding unfaithfulness. But I'm glad you seem to be doing all right and that you could turn an experience like that into such an amazing story. My ex and I broke up a little more than a year ago, and reading this was bittersweet because I think a lot of people who have been cheated on can really relate and understand Aoi's character. As strange as it is for me to say this, but reading this was kind of like therapy, because it reflects so many thoughts that I think anyone would have if they were betrayed the way Kaoru did Aoi.
Once again, this was great.
| VnikkiR chapter 1 . 7/8/2006
Ai Yori Aoshi
| Alpha Zulu chapter 1 . 7/3/2006
Nicely done, but depressing. Excellent job, overall.
The only thing that I felt was questionable about it was how you handled Aoi. I just can't see someone who has spent so long (eighteen years, wasn't it?) living for the goal of being Kaoru's wife just crumpling up like a used tissue when something bad happens. Why didn't she kill herself when she lost his engagement the first time? Is her love of him so fragile and weak that when he cheats on her - before marriage, I would point out - she can't move past it? Ask yourself this: what would she had done if he had cheated on her AFTER the marriage? Killed herself? Somehow, I can't see her being that weak or easily thrown into suscidial despair.
Even so, this is a good fic, and that is rare enough in itself. Well done.
| Cludd chapter 23 . 7/1/2006
First off, I must say that I really did enjoy that story. Second, your OC I found to be charming. It really is a shame that this story hasn't gotten any reviews yet, because it really is well written and I can so see Aoi acting the way you portrayed her in this story.
Thanks for writing this great story I enjoyed reading it immensely :)
although, I hate you for giving me the URL for another fanfiction website that I can waste more time on .