|Reviews for Questions|
| ella chapter 4 . 11/3/2006
Oh, this is wonderful. Very moving.
| angelstryst chapter 4 . 10/15/2006
Fantastic chapter! I love the angst that you feel reading it. You have really nailed the emotions that the characters are feeling.
His body screamed at him to get some rest… …and if it was the eternal kind – who cared? - great line! It really showed the pain and dispair felt by Logan.
I'm really looking forward to the next chapter.
| BlueAngel137 chapter 4 . 10/11/2006
So, I promised I'd send a propper review and true to my motto 'better late than never' ;-) ... here is my second try. [LONG REVIEW WARNING!]
The thing that impressed me most about this chapter was, how deep you dug to bring Logan's emotions and darkest thoughts into bright daylight. He certainly never seemed to be a man that gave up easily and after seeing all his obsession for Eyes Only during S1 it was always hard for me to believe he'd just take a gun and kill himself ... he wasn't one to take the easy way out. Just that he thought about it seemed selfish to me, even weak.
After reading this chapter I can understand his wish to end it all. It's really sad, but excellent work!
Parts I liked most:
-...Logan listened attentively to the noises of Max’s retreat until he heard the sharp, metallic noise of the front door being closed. Only then he allowed the impact of Vertes death to show as his blank expression was undermined by his shoulders slowly sagging forward and his elbows seeking support on his knees. ... (such a beautiful and vivid description, great!)
-...Logan numbly gazed at the now empty spot by the door where Max’s absence was marked by the undisturbed glow of late-afternoon sun on polished hardwood. ... (brilliant again!)
-...All he had left after Vertes’ death was a body that was drained from days of pain, of forcing weakening muscles to move, of delaying sleep to cherish every lasting instant of sensation. His body screamed at him to get some rest…
…and if it was the eternal kind – who cared? ...
(That's a great part and IMO exactly what Logan might have felt after Dr. Vertes death ... a fully grown depression combined with physical pain. Poor Logan, I just want to go over and make him feel better.)
-...The rims were gripped hard, pushed upon, as callused hands set the chair into a swaying motion, first swinging softly from side to side, as if cradling himself, then harder and harder until eventually his leg was banged onto the desk, again and again. Each hit evoked a soft thud, a dull vibration in his upper body – but nothing, not even the slightest sign of protest from his insensitive leg. Numb, paralyzed, useless… as good as dead. ...
(oh, that's so sad, it almost causes the reader physical pain to see how much Logan torments himself, how much he's hurting in- and outside)
-...How could the gun be the right decision when hugging her felt so good? Wasn’t having Max enough to carry on? ...
I'm so glad I already know that Max came back ... yep, actually I'm happy that the chapters weren't written in chronological order ;-). Otherwise I would have been tempted to jump straight into the chapter (yes, of your story! ;-)) and shake some sense into Logan ... argh, how can he think so bad of himself, when all of us love him (including Max) ... :P.
THANKS, Mari. I'm definitely looking forward to your next chapter (although I have to admit I really hope it's not so sad ;P)
| antilope chapter 4 . 10/7/2006
You are really good, i'm impressed. i like the way the dialogues and interactions are very emotional without being fluffy. your story is mature, the characters' feelings and thoughts are complex. keep it up! i hope we gonna get to see more soon.
| blueangel137 chapter 4 . 10/7/2006
Really love the chapter. It's great stuff and surely nothing to read in a rush during a break at work. Since time is once again working against (poor) me :-( ... I just wanted to let you know how much I liked this and hopefully will get back later or e-mail you with a proper review.
| homicidalslayer chapter 4 . 10/5/2006
I like it. It has big words, and few (if any) grammer mistakes. And it has just the right amount of angst, without going overboard or being...squishy. I hate squishiness.
| Sossoca chapter 4 . 10/5/2006
Wow, wow, wow...That was very good!
| shywr1ter chapter 4 . 10/2/2006
I've already sent you lots of 'wows' for this one, but they're all deserved-there's so much about this chapter that we all wanted to know and DA never showed us!
As I told you way back when you first mentioned it (where? BBWW?) I think you have an excellent point that what Logan would have gone through physically with his recovery - then his loss- of function has to have impacted him as much as the emotional aspect did, and would have, in turn, made the emotional stress even worse. From fighting his body after he was shot, to having hope with his functioning restored, to losing both AND fighting new pain and exhaustion... I've never seen that suggested before and it all just fits so well!
I also like the aspect of his seeming to pull out of the purely emotional reaction to his loss at times in this, to look at the situation "logically" (so he'd want to believe-but he's so battered by what's happening, how can he really be logical?)
So these competing aspects are really powerful and effective- wow. But in addition, you express these things so well- a handful of favorites-
"Logan listened attentively to the noises of Max’s retreat until he heard the sharp, metallic noise of the front door being closed. Only then he allowed the impact of Vertes death to show as his blank expression was undermined by his shoulders slowly sagging forward and his elbows seeking support on his knees."
"He would never walk again."
(like a door slamming shut on his life- the apt metaphor- and he's said he's not going back... now what, Logan? Powerful start...)
"The apartment felt empty without her, lifeless, as if she were his only connection to the world outside of his walls… " (I like this; in so much of the show, she *was* his connection, for so much...)
"The pain was depleting his body, leaving him in state of utter exhaustion..."
"There was no difference between then and now, Logan tiredly concluded as he lifted a hand to massage his achy back. The result would be the same: he was consuming his energy battling through pain and fatigue, only to be left with aching arms and stiff shoulders which felt like those of someone decades older."
(again, such a good point, and one that I hadn't thought about before- but it helps explain what could move him now over the line to suicide...)
"As if in a trance, Logan moved away from the sun-flooded living room area to the relative darkness of his office... where he had always done a last check-in before going out on a mission, back when he had been a whole, functioning person. In a ritual borne out of caution, in his attempt to minimize the dangers by being well-prepared, he would come in here to take a last glimpse at the information-net while loading his gun, even as he would hope that he wouldn’t have to use it."
"Haltingly, Logan’s fingers glided over the cool, smooth metal of his wheel rims, searching for some kind of distraction to that disturbingly alluring option a gun provided to someone who didn’t give a damn about his life."
(another amazing connection: what moved him from brooding, to actually consider the gun and what an easy answer it provided. In addition, he fights it initially, not so ready to admit he wants that way out...? Another well-thought out idea in this "missing" part of DA. Fantastic!)
"...Logan mused as he stared down at his well-worn loafers with a cynical smirk. One way or the other, he wouldn’t leave any traces on these shoes anymore, whether he killed himself or was sitting in this chair for the rest of his life.." (amazing and powerful- and he still, at this point, sees death or life in the chair as equally 'fatal'...)
"Then, in a sharp pang, reality hit him and stiffened his body away from Max’s softness: They couldn’t be more than this. An amiable hug was the closest he could come to Max. Hiding the sickening disappointment beneath a non-committal everyday-face, Logan pushed away from Max to wheel over to the office.." (This too, always bothered me: why did he break off the hug so fast? This is such a probably and in-broody-character thought and answers that question for me!)
"Slowly closing his eyes to protect them from the blinding rays of the low-standing sun, Logan unsuccessfully tried to banish the memory of Max’s face creasing worriedly at his uncoordinated movements, dictated by tiredness and exhaustion. She had regarded him as if he was a fragile piece of porcelain that had to be treated with utmost care." (I can clearly see this scene... so painful!)
This is so moving; I keep saying "powerful" -it is, and leaves Logan so needing Max to get thru his thick skull! At least we know she went back to try... :D)
Thanks for the story, and keep it coming!
| Meritaten chapter 3 . 9/7/2006
This story is really great. Are you going to write more?
| Kyre chapter 3 . 9/7/2006
Wow - very well done. You do a good job of taking the emotions, reactions, and thoughts through their natural course. I'm even a bit emotionally drained for having allowed myself to feel along with these two characters.
When Logan described how his prior attractiveness and losing his parents made him feel ("It gave me confidence"..."gave me a serious air"..."I welcomed this confirmation") it felt a bit stilted, a bit artificial. It seemed more like something a woman would write about a character than something a guy would say about himself. But maybe that's just me; after all, the whole point of it was to compare his Romeo tendencies before with what he feels now, and he was doing that.
The rest of it certainly felt natural; I could definitely feel his listlessness and eventual reactions, and Max's panic and exasperation. By the way, this is one of the best descriptions Max & Logan that I've seen in a long time: "You set new rules for our relationship, and I accepted them because not having to deal with all this weird chemistry between us made things easier for me, was less confusing."
-You see, Max? I’m nothing but selfish rich brat.
-The idea of the altruistic Logan accusing himself of selfishness sounded almost ridiculous to her.
How far they've come from the pilot, when Max called him a bored rich kid whom others were stupid to trust!
I love that she was brave enough, and trusting her emotions enough, to embrace him at the end. And I love that he was brave enough, and trusting HER enough, to return the embrace and take comfort from it.
| AndyCake chapter 3 . 9/5/2006
This is a really beautiful, thoughtful piece. This is how DA should have dealt with Logan's attempted suicide. It's not something you just get over.
Your slow pacing is great, it really paints the scene perfectly. Reading, I can feel the tension and the awkwardness that Max feels. Wonderfully decriptive, I look forward to reading more chapters soon!
| resqangel chapter 3 . 8/26/2006
I love it. The perfect blend of angst and feelings. Very good job of capturing the characters. Hope to read more soon!
| Amber Ferguson chapter 1 . 8/23/2006
Not to look rude or anything but in the Dark Angel shows Tinga is dead she got killed by her trainer's partner. And Jondy was on her "trainer's"side.
| Goomba Fortress chapter 3 . 8/9/2006
oh my gosh! this is so good! its just amazing... i love the chemistry between logan and max at the end of the third chapter... it was really sweet. i want to read more of this!
| Sossoca chapter 3 . 8/5/2006
That's so touching and it's really in character. You are doing a great job with it!