Reviews for Alone, Together |
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![]() ![]() As good as it always has been, Failte. It's no exaggeration to say that you've done great and skillful work with this. I'm 29 at the time of writing this message, and I remember reading this for the first time in highschool somewhere around 15 years ago, give or take. Funnily enough this story was the place I first heard of a z-axis, and I later talked about that yet-untaught axis with my math teacher. I'm only eloquent when I'm not trying to be, and I wish I could say more and properly relay my feelings about this story, and its place in my teenage years, and now its place throughout my 20's. One thing I can say is that this story made an impact greater than almost any other, and even now stands out starkly against almost anything you could find online. You have a lot to be proud of here, Failte. Thanks a lot. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I think this is my 3rd time reading this. I don't even use anymore lol took me a week to find it again! Absolutely worth it! |
![]() ![]() ![]() This was good but it did have some small issues. One big one is the whole "It was just a dream" thing after they returned. Sure they started to remember some stuff but you outright said in story that they would likely never remember everything.. that in turn made me and likely other readers no longer as invested in your story or the characters in it. Sure I finished it but it was a close thing for a bit there. What you did was effectively build kim and shego up to such a interesting degree throughout the first half of the story then went "Oh, by the way none of that really mattered". You could of offset that by having them fully remember eventually through some sort of event( likely drakken first activating the second and improved transporter loop ) or even having some stuff that happened carry over to the original world that slowly reminds them. The full moon this was a bit.. contrived. As for the carry over stuff, you had more then a few opportunities. Kim literally had amature surgery. The scar for that would be been pretty dang obvious. Shego lost her voice and had the neck scar. You could of had the scars carry over and them with no memories at first left wondering where they came from alongside everyone else that knew them. For example: I doubt GL didn't give kim a physical the moment they could after she returned. You can gurantee their medical professionals would reconize a appendicitis surgery. Even more so if kims appendix is actually still missing. Shoot, the fact she didn't remember and the scar was never mentioned means it didn't exist. Which also means she once again will have the deal with her appendix issues later in the original world. That could of been a good point to remember too. Her in the middle of surgery and as shes going under start wondering where shego was and why it's not her hands digging in her to save her life. Just something as simple as the clothes they were wearing coming through with them would of offset the "it was just a dream" thing a bit to keep readers fully invested. Not to mention the painting shego got attached too. You even mentioned kim specifically saving it from their stuff before her trip home.. and then it was never mentioned again. You could of had it come through somehow, likely a delirious shego mentioning wanting to bring it and kim in too much a desperate hurry to not grab it in the process, and have everyone trying to save them super confused when a famous work of art, the two in different clothes, and the two having some weird scars but little actual injuries coming through the loop. Would point out to everyone that they weren't gone for 13 days like original thought but without their memories no one can tell just how long or where they were. Then certain things in their lives start reminding them of their time in that world, same as you did but more remembering in the process and not just full moon stuff. Even worse is that they learned so much in that other dimension but never actually put it into practice in the original world which further made everything pointless. Kim was literally drakken level dang near to build that beacon and shego was pretty good at medical work by the end of those 21 years.. yet they never even remembered or got to use those skills after their return? What was the point then? All that character development gone with the wind. The last issue was the characters themselves. Kim was super worried about how those around her would react to her coming out. Almost just as much as how the media would react. Yet you never showed what those reactions would be. KIms parents might as well not exist at all. Tara was basically just a plot device despite how interesting working her in more could of been. She's criminally underused in stories and that didn't stop here. We don't even see bonnie more then one scene and a mention, how the heck do you write a kim possible story and not add bonnie to a extent? That has to be against the rules or something. Even more so when tara drops that hint that bonnie might be gay as some comic relief but we still never see the girl in question afterwards. Simply put you basically made the background characters feel like they were either cardboard cutouts, stereotypes, or just didn't exist at all. A big no-no in good storytelling. Your characters, even the small ones, need to feel like they have weight in the world to readers. Like they are living just as much as the main characters are in the world your weaving. Otherwise it feels like the main characters are just going through a empty world with only a few people in it. Sure that was good for the first part where that was literal but for the second part it's like they never truly returned from that alternate world and the original one is just as empty, only difference is it has slightly more people in it. Then again you wrote this 16 years ago. Maybe you improved given how long it's been but I wouldn't know since this was your last big story before your vanishing act. Some of the issues I listed apply to accidently mistress too, specifically the background characters not feeling like they have weight and some of them being underused. Otherwise both stories were interesting, unique premises, and you didn't shy away from some of the more weird aspects of such a pairing like the age gap or kim still being a teenager. Instead you worked them into the character development to a extent which took skill to do without being hamfisted or weird. If you ever do come back to writing maybe you could revamp or rewrite this to get back into the swing of things. Would give you something familiar to work on and improve that has sci-fi elements you can use to your advantage. Im good at story ideas if you ever want to bounce some off me, one in particular that's been on my mind was a yandere shego trying to get kim to love her horror story but given your others stories I doubt you would like that one very much lol Either way if you ever do get back into writing good luck! |
![]() ![]() ![]() this story is absolutely amazing. get the klenexes ready for the second half it's hits you right in the feels! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Rereading this story for the third or fourth time. Every few years I come back and reread it. Thanks for the great story |
![]() ![]() ![]() Sweet! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Just came back to reread this, still awesome. Thanks for Writing! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Awesome! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Cool Bro! I’m into this fic |
![]() ![]() I just wanted to let you know that I found this story shortly after you published it in 2006, and loved it so much that it has stuck with me all these years. I've re read it 4 or 5 times over the years and it's my favorite kigo and one of my favorite stories in general. Thank you for writing it. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I started rewatching Kim Possible the other day since it's on Disney Plus now and it made me curious to see what fics were out there and, wow, this fic was really good. I didn't have many expectations, but you really created something wonderful and special with this fic. With each chapter I was thinking, "what's going to come next?" and my mind explored all different kinds of scenerios. I love how you built the intimacy between Shego and Kim and the two worlds was really brilliantly done. Just, absolutely incredible fic! Thanks for writing this. |
![]() ![]() ![]() This is the best Kim/Shego fanfic I have ever read. Thank you for sharing it. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hello,This is Cock And Ball Torture. This is my honest review of this sin of a fanfiction. First of all this sucks ass. Second of all this ship is kinda gay. Third of all What the fuck is you location why do you live in uganda. And fourth of all We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) (Ooh) Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry |
![]() ![]() ![]() Rereading it after several years. Because my lesbianism is kicking again like nothing matter. Still closet though. And I find this picture very helpful and this was what I'm looking for. What sort of I need this whole time. My perspective change from the first time I red this. The story is not just about two women falling madly in love with each other to the point of needing. It is about how you could actually cared for someone regardless what they are. I can imagine if it's some other guy with Kim it would be just the way it is. This is a wonderful master piece. |
![]() ![]() ![]() A good read!Enjoyed every second of it and stayed up damn near all night retying to finish it. I really liked that you didn't make ron out to be a bad guy and instead kept him as her best friend and someone who always has her back. |