|Reviews for Abyssus Abyssum Invocat|
| unconventional girl chapter 4 . 6/2/2006
I tried to review a couple of days ago but my computer wouldn't let me. I'm so loving this story...how about those apples huh Dumbledore...hehe. Seriously I love seeing Harry taking control and showing every one that he won't be some push over. Lord Voldemort won't want to mess him now. You're really doing a great job with this story. Love it and waiting to see another update.
| athenakitty chapter 4 . 5/31/2006
Just how many people will Harry freak out? Is Snape happy in brewing more potions? I do hope that Harry's going to show Snape the cover of the book from Slytherin. I'm surprised that Hermione's so violent. :-" Will Harry prove the innocence of Sirius? Will someone have a really bad year? Is Harry going to kick a few people's teeth in? Oh, is something going to happen to Umbridgie? :-" Does this mean that Harrycould limit how much monety that Dumbledore get? O:-)
| David305 chapter 3 . 5/31/2006
I could have sworn that I had read Harry's argument with Snape before, right down to "the basic Skin clarifying potion. For when you have the blue cough.”
The same with the elaborate description of Mandrakes for Sprout.
I know that you meant to repeat the original Abyssus story in chapter one; but are you perhaps borrowing from other stories too?
I'm sure this is going to be lovely; but I urge you sincerely and strongly to get a beta reader. This is a kind of editor who lightly edits the chapter for errors and sends it back to you before you post it. Some mistakes are valid words that a spellcheck won't catch; for example:
you almost always write truck when you mean trunk,
you write to whenever you mean too
(and sometimes you write too when you mean to),
you write there whenever you mean their,
you write whipped whenever you mean wiped.
In ch. 4 you wrote,
"you have always be a far and just race on a hole"
"You have always been a fair and just race, on the whole."
It's apothecary not apothercary
Flourish and Blotts not Floursh
Gringotts Bank not Gringott's Back
whooped not whopped
tickled the pear, not pair
Wizengamot not wizenmagot
"He munching on the food" munched, not munching
"as soon as his head touch his pillow." touched not touch
"he spelled his cloths clean" clothes not cloths
"necessary supply’s for class" supplies, not supply's
(Using an apostrophe-s for a plural form is almost never correct unless it is to pluralize an unpunctuated abbreviation where the meaning would be otherwise unclear, as in the phrase "Mind your p's and q's." You use apostrophe-s for plurals more often than not. The apostrophe-s should normally only be used to signify possessives, or the contraction for is, has or was.)
"ate it, as was becoming the norm, with perfect educate." I THINK you mean etiquette rather than educate, but it might be
hazardous to guess.
It IS my guess, though, that you have taken some paragraphs and sections from other fanfictions; these are fairly easy to pick out because they have fewer serious typos, misspellings and errors of grammar.
If you have done this, you should know that it is considered to be plagiarism if you have not gotten the author's permission to do so.
You said that your borrowing was "inspired" from poenix-child-mina's story. But it's not an inspired adaptation of an idea; it's a word-for-word lifting of the whole passage from chapter 7 of that story.
I'm not positive where the mandrake recitation for Sprout was from, but it too seems very familiar.
Plagiarism means stealing. Not borrowing.
You're borrowing Abyssus because the author (sadly) gave permission to take it over for anyone else who wanted to. Fine.
But if there is other material from other authors that was not similarly given to others for their use, or permission specifically granted to you for your use, then you must not take those materials and pretend that they're yours. Your story has to stand on its own.
| bandgsecurtiyaw chapter 4 . 5/30/2006
| unconventional girl chapter 2 . 5/29/2006
This is a wonderful story! I absolutly love it. The concept is so unique, I can't wait to see where it goes.
| bandgsecurtiyaw chapter 2 . 5/28/2006
Good chapter I can not wait for more.
| bandgsecurtiyaw chapter 1 . 5/28/2006
| Luckner chapter 1 . 5/26/2006
I justread one of your reviews and wanted to give you my two cents worth. I like long chapters, and I liked the length of your first chapter. Its just my opinion, but I think you're doing a fine job.
| Luckner chapter 2 . 5/26/2006
A very interesting story, I can't wait to see how you introduce Hary to Luna in her first year. Keep up the good work.
| Altharus chapter 2 . 5/24/2006
I really like your story. I am looking forward to further chapters.
| absolutleyfabulous chapter 2 . 5/22/2006
I like this chapter. It was considerably shorter then the first one but its cool. The first one was really long but it was cool I would never be able to write one that long but now I am rambling. I got your reply to my review so I'm waiting I can understand...Continue when you got it all ready the story is really good. I like it...
| ambiance15 chapter 2 . 5/22/2006
this isnt really an acceptable length for a chapter so i wont tell you what i think of the plot/lack of plot...sorry maybe you could rewrite it with a few thousand more words...thx