|Reviews for Save My Last Dance|
| Leafless chapter 1 . 9/14/2010
Nice story. :)
| Red-waitforit-head chapter 1 . 8/30/2010
That was so sweetttt! I love it! And your a very great writer, it was awesome.
| Abnormality Words chapter 1 . 5/13/2008
Good day. Uhm, just a review.
It's quite... vague for me that the academy holds the prom on the coldest day of the year. Haha. ] What's up with that? Why will they do such a thing?
“He said he’d be here…” Mikan shivered to herself, watching the dancing couples...
- Uhm, I think "shivered" is not the right word for this. Were you trying to say that Mikan was shivering? Or she said those words just to herself? Could've been "Mikan said to herself" or "Shivering, Mikan watched the dancing couples..."
Mikan looked to the wintry sky, as if suddenly, out of the blue, Mr. Hyuuga himself should drop from it.
- Hehe. Funny. Love this line. ]
Natsume…you’d never fail me, would you? Mikan thought to herself.
- Maybe you could omit "to herself". Thinking is, after all, an action that can only be done by yourself. Unless you're commanded to think for somebody else, which in this case isn't appropriate.
But scarred, scratched, and beaten, he was still perfect to Mikan. His warmth, from the Alice he once loathed, warmed Mikan to the soul.
- I don't know why but I just love these sentences. Uh, amybe the kind of romance I like. ] Love these!
The descriptions are almost perfect. They're short but effective. I can imagine that night. Oh... how cold. What a nice view. Great job.
So short! Ugh. But the feeling is just so... uh, can't find the right words. I've always been a fan of this kind of fanfics. Works that give me this cozy feeling. Works that depict tranquility. Works that just make me sigh and contented. ]
So there. Another good story done. I really love this. Their emotions are so lucid. Though there's always a room for betterment, is it not? Hehe. ]
henseishi-kun / Abnormality Words
| lianna dominique chapter 1 . 1/25/2008
that was sweet...
| Marshmallow73 chapter 1 . 9/28/2007
| Sora chapter 1 . 9/8/2007
So KAWAII! You pulled that off well. Story ideas...heheheh...I have no idea.
| tokyobend17 chapter 1 . 5/18/2007
That was nice. :) And yet so sad. :(
| Beatrice Chew chapter 1 . 5/13/2007
please tell me what happen to Natsume why did he say to M
ikan this will be the last day we shall be together write another chapter!
| Serena chapter 1 . 4/2/2007
DO YOU HAVE TO SWEAR? It's good, though. Not bad.
| Lyean chapter 1 . 10/29/2006
I thought the term 'Kun' after the name is meant for 15 years and below, and sama is for those above the age.
and 'Chan' is for people you know very well.
Oh well. Will ask my japanese sensei (and maybe receive a thwack for not listening to the previous lessons on it).
I love this story! I'm gonna go bully my friends to read it! (there, a long review from a crazy fiction reader)
| Llamas Are Sexy chapter 1 . 7/26/2006
Like a ghost of a premature baby.
that was pretty damn starnge connection but i enjoyed the fic.
| maifu04 chapter 1 . 6/26/2006
you are now amongst my favourite GA authors. and this story is just one shinning example of why you are. although, do allow me to correct you that this story is 928 words - microsoft word counted it (although i can't remember if that's the precise count since i closed word, and have only like a 5 min. memory span - simply put i forget trivial things just like that). anyways, im just pin-pointing that fact because... if microsoft word isn't mistaken with the number of words you've used, then i should say you've accomplished and out done yourself. not many people (specifically speaking, me) can compose a really good story with a good enough narrative like you just did with 'Save My Last Dance' with such a few no. of words.
As always, the use of vocabulary is exemplary, and the description of the surroundings, the emotions, is done wonderfully. i can almost picture each scene in my head, and like i said, for such a few number of words, this is an amazing feat. of course a 100 word is possible, but that's only rare to extremely talented writers. but i believe you to be one of them. 928 words - cute story, well written and a really nice ending, and like you've said, fluffy in the right places, makes this a recommedable read. a good one-shot story (although i have to admit, before reading the last line, i kept thinking about second chapters... but one-shot suits this just fine coz the ending is just perfect, in my opinion).
| Jowy atreidies chapter 1 . 6/4/2006
I love it; it is so romantic
| This Seraphim chapter 1 . 6/2/2006
XD how sweet...!
"Natsume gave her a rare smile, a smile that he gave her and her alone."
"In the shadows of the Alice Academy night, the two danced to their own rhythm. One strong, the other weak, one hot but icy, the other freezing but warm. One sad and tragic, another happy and coddled. The unlikely couple of Alice Academy danced the night away, to their own rhythm, as they had always done.
And it couldn’t be more perfect."
...ESPECIALLY THESE PARTS! XD
| zephyrlight chapter 1 . 5/25/2006
that was just so sweet..
mikan waiting for natsume to turn up isn't that surprising (she's dumb enough to wait without adequate warm covering) but natsume still getting dressed up even though he's injured and all just so he could (perhaps) make the party..
and his comment that it could be their last time together..
I'm so touched..