FUCKING SHIT HARRY DOES NOT NEED TO FORGIVE EVERYONE SO EASILY!

if granger thinks the chang bitch is lovely, why doesn't she ask her to the ball? doesn't the BITCH remember Harry telling her that he has NO interest in nosepiece chang?

granger needs to be permanatley obligated!

FAIL!

you should have had Harry give Ron detention right then and there!

O F F S

just so you know - snow owls are diurnal ! because they live in the arctic they hunt during the day!

so glad I can prove granger wrong - AGAIN!

someone please permanently silence granger!

why can't you perform magic on the train? if you are not supposed to then there would be magic sensors to notify the conductor (whose bright idea is it to have ALL those kids on a train for hours without adult supervision?)

the library is on the 1st floor uk (2nd floor US)

don't you mean Kyle is reserve KEEPER?

O F F S

WHAT PARENTS ACTUALLY SIGN THEIR LETTER TO THEIR SON WITH THEIR PROPER NAME?

THEY WOULD SIGN IT 'MUM' AND 'DAD'

ron is such a stupid Ber (oh for fucks sake) assistant professor?

here is hoping we don't see Jessica again!

NO SUMMER HOMEWORK FOR THOSE WHO HAVE TAKEN THEIR O.W.L.'S

so why did Harry send the papers back to dumbledork instead of sending them to Gringots - just to make sure the bank got them?

I do love how Remus figured it out.. but i would have thought him being a werewolf and his heightened sense of smell would have done it

you do NOT need a wand to apparate! You are using your magic but you are not using a spell - therefore you do NOT need your wand to apparate.

in HBP when they were having Apparation lessons they were NEVER told to have their hand on their wand!

don't worry - a LOT of authors get this wrong!

HOW did Harry light the fire to make the potion IN HIS BEDROOM?

and WHAT foul word did Harry use to Petunia?

WHAT THE FUCK RON - VICTOR was a 7th year during their 4th so he has graduated from Durmstrang and is legally an adult!

he is so fecking immature that I wish an author had the balls to kill him off! If you do I'll send you cookies!

This has been a great story so far and I hope to see what you will do with it in the future

,,,that's it? Really?

Honestly, I was really hoping this story would be good. But it's not. Frankly, it's a bad story.

On the technical side, I will say this is very well done. Loads of fanfictions have all kinds of spelling and grammar and punctuation and other mechanical issues in terms of writing, but this one is actually great in that aspect. It's novel quality.

But the story itself is godawful. The character interactions between Harry and his old guard (Dumbledore, Hermione, and Ron) are terrible. They feel repetitive and circular, they never progress or evolve in any meaningful way. You can try and make excuses that they're Harry's longest friends and companions and he won't abandon them so easily but this entire damn story is founded on the idea that Harry is making something out of his life and changing to improve himself. With all the *very reasonable* problems between Harry and his two friends, they should've fallen apart quickly. More importantly, Harry should've stopped tolerating their crap. He calls them out on their behaviors and they refuse to change or budge and it negatively affects him, yet he still continues to interact with them. It makes no sense for any self-aware character to maintain such relationships. The problem is that they, and Dumbledore, are written as static characters with no capacity for change or adaptation. Dumbledore prattles off the same lines and will never be swayed on the subject and never gives even a hint of considering new or different information. It's robotic, really. And I get that some people are really set in their ways, but the whole whole Dumbledore willing to attack and imprison Harry is then at complete odds with his image previous to this. It defies logic, reason, and sense that Dumbledore would be this cartoonish in a story attempting to tackle realism at all. Either Dumbledore would've been more controlling or manipulative and resorted to the attack at the end, or he would've been ineffectual and stern lectures and eventually let Harry off with great sadness or disapproval but ultimately no real action. Doing it both ways? That's poor characterizing.

Another thing is, like I've said before, Harry's lack of killing. This is always the rub in HP fics with any Harry that has a spine and half a brain cell. Killing Death Eaters is almost always the objectively best choice due to the fact that they are permanently removed as a problem and can't be out on the streets of Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade in a month's time. But no, stunning and hiding them is his choice. Yeah he snaps wands, which I wholeheartedly approve, but it's a half-measure that doesn't do the job right. Way to go.

And this is every damn chapter facing these two insurmountable issues of the fiction. I kept reading, all this way, in the hopes of this thing turning around, but at the end all I can say is that this story is bad and you should absolutely not read it, much less the (seemingly abandoned) sequel.

Again, comparing this to For Love of Magic, I find it frankly pathetic that Harry would still be resorting to stunners at this point, or at least not slitting their throats after he'd put them down. I mean for god's sake, these people are clearly trying to kill him and stop him from reaching Ginny, and he's playing softball with them. They'll get back up and hurt and rape and kill more and Harry just leaves them be. "Taking Control" my arse; pussyfooting about, more like.

Yeah again, this seems like a lot of effort for Harry to go through what is clearly a failed friendship. Coddling Ron and trying to ease things with him rather than just moving the hell on with his life. I get it, Ron was his first friend and they had years of friendship behind him. So what? Teenagers hardly are the most well-adjusted people and drop friendships forever over the silliest things. Even if Harry is suicidally married to the idea of forgive and move on, Ron should've been pushed to the breaking point by now and done something permanent.
I guess I compare all HP fics to "For Love of Magic" which is a high bar to reach, but contains the most human and believable characters in fanfiction, so it makes it difficult to "buy" any interactions in other stories like this.

I don't like how your Harry is supposed to be more self-aware of himself and his associates, but still forgives both Ron and Dumbledore and rolls with them as normal, instead of a shift in relationship. Like when Dumbledore basically tells Harry that he is sitting out of the war that Dumbledore allowed to happen and is pinning all his hopes on the boy but doesn't tell him shite, Harry should've called him out on it and told them man to piss off. And Ron's clearly gone over the line several times by this point and yet Harry still hangs out with him rather than just out and telling him to also piss off and informing him they aren't friends anymore, with force if necessary. I mean really, "Taking Control"? He's still behaving too passively for this crap. I like this tory and am still reading, and even see that it's finished, but I find this supposedly better and wiser and more determined Harry too wishy-washy and unwilling to take real steps to change the crappy relationships in his life.

No idea if you will even see this given how long its been since you posted but I just have to leave a review. This story is one of the better ones I have read in a long time. You managed to draw it out to over half a million words without dragging it out. The slow build of the friendship to romance was both brilliantly done and excruciatingly slow. I found myself hoping they would just get on with it but at the same time loving the build up. The classes and training were well done it was done in such a way as to not be too repetitive or monotonus. I never once thought "oh not another scene like this". The tension between charachters was well dne also, I found myself being extremely frustrated with some of my favourite charachters, you're writing brought out the emotions in me that I imagined Harry was feeling. The charchter development was done excellently. I found out about half way through that the sequel had been abondoned and normally that would make me stop reading a story, but I couldn't, it was that well done I had to know how it would end. I'd love for the sequel to be updated and finished. The only flaw I saw was some of your terminology. Im the UK breaktime is not known as recess. Shopping isn't known as groceries really and if you were talking about a certain place and how far away it is, you wouldn't say "a few blocks away". When writing about an English guy in the UK, its something to keep in mind. I make the same mistake myself in my own writing from time to time. Its easy to slip into the way you would say things not necessarily the way a character would. Overall one of the best storys I've read in a long long time and I hope the sequel gets finished. You should be very proud of your work.

I love this can you please please do more
-thanks, Autumn