|Reviews for Taking Control|
| Guest chapter 12 . 10/21/2014
The utter lack of ANYONE but friends in Harry's "office" is getting a bit silly.
"cast a reparo charm to fix the crack in it" I'll be surprised if this suffices. Also surprised it cracked, given the safety enchantments, but it's a plot thing.
Pranks as unpredictable as the staircases? Brilliant.
"It couldn't hurt to try, right?" MOR!McGonagall would have your HEAD for this.
"he was obviously weary of making Harry any angrier" wary
"He managed to make her feel his magic" I suppose given the title that it makes sense that he is not consulting other professors and experts on his new groundbreaking magical discoveries, but it still feels odd. Maybe not so much for Harry.
"Harry would have to learn how to dance. " The RoR can provide dueling dummies to sling spells. Dance partners would be orders of magnitude easier.
" the spirit of the Marauder's" Marauders.
"Harry watched Ron Professor McGonagall continued to talk. " Ron as. Ron Professor McGonagall sounds...horrifying.
| Guest chapter 11 . 10/21/2014
"The site can be found at ." Unsurprisingly, ff censors ate the URL.
"I see one, besides Ginny," ah good, not pure het.
For that I point out the mistakes you make, you consistently get free rein right, which many do not.
"Before you wonder off Neville" wander
Uh oh, do we need an accidental magic reversal squad?
"No one seemed to mind the chance to take a break from studying" oh? Where's Hermione?
"Madame Malkins" Malkin's
"Parvarti" Parvati. Many times.
"another thing coming" think, is how the idiom goes.
I can't really blame Ron for wanting to win without the-man-the-myth-the-legend The-Boy-Who-Lived, but he has been a prat.
| Guest chapter 10 . 10/21/2014
"have to keepto keep"
"keeping teaching " keep
Am wondering when Harry speaks to Em, Fawkes, et cetera. Probably Ginny too since she's got a cat form. It seems "bloody obvious" as thickhesd Ron would put it.
"Now are you gonnagoing "
"glad he leant her his Firebolt " lent
| Guest chapter 9 . 10/21/2014
"Barnabus the Barmy" Barnabas
"He was weary about showing off" wary
"It appears that Mrs. Weasley" appeared
"but he was beginning to grow weary." Correct!
"led him to a cough" couch
You left it unclear for a bit that it's actually not Hermione. And she would.
| Guest chapter 8 . 10/21/2014
"quickly diffusing the situation" defusing feels better but this might be right.
"She often offered to read through his essays" thing is, this was, if indirectly, a thing they got together on. Harry's cutting her out here. It is a little ship-pushing how much Harry excludes Ron and hermy here, but their behavior both warrants it and is in concordance with canon, so I can't really complain.
Did Harry not notice he was using mindspeech as human? No fanfare was made of it.
One wonders why the RoR cannot provide wards itself.
"Neville's voice stopper her" stopped
"phoenix's had " phoenixes
"standard of a potion's master" potions
"tearing a whole and" hole
| Guest chapter 7 . 10/21/2014
Short? Ha. Still, I'd have liked more real classes.
"Harry tickled the pair" pear
One might think Pomfrey could help with his healing studies.
Ron:champion chess player and thickhead.
| Guest chapter 6 . 10/21/2014
Longer stories mean more to read. I feel there's never enough actual classes in Hogwarts.
"level out punishments" mete out, perhaps? Level out sounds like nothin I've ever heard or read.
"Harry wearily followed " probably warily. Wary is cautious, weary is tired.
"there wouldn't be a single woman left who was not fawning over Harry Potter." Except those not into guys.
"did throw quite a gear into her mind's inner workings" throw a wrench
"his dignity in tact." Intact.
"if you see any body else" anybody
| Guest chapter 5 . 10/21/2014
"She just couldn't help the reaction that he had on her. " effect, not reaction-at least, with this setup.
" they were weary and" wary
"Nah, just aced my owl," OWL
sonorous: check spelling. JKR seems to use the -ous for the name and something slightly different for the incantation.
"Barnabus the Barmy." Barnabas
"That was nerve racking." Hyphenate?
Pity, with how Harry's life is he could use an understudy Seeker.
| Guest chapter 4 . 10/21/2014
"Special distinction goes to the student for this exam for scoring over 100 percent." Doesn't indicate the DADA- possbly an asterisk got deleted?
"the text books " textbooks
" and Harry was inclined to agree with her.." One period or three.
"long sleeve shirts " long-sleeved
"to be setup for you" set up
"Bon appetite" Appetit. Technically, bon appétit, but English has become more lax about getting its French phrases and words strictly right.
| Guest chapter 3 . 10/21/2014
" his animus forms. " animagus or animal
"You worry too much, Siriu,s"
" impair his movement," Impair isn't wrong, but impede would be better.
" It wouldn't due for a panther" do
"but his features were indistinguishable." his EXPRESSION was unreadable. His features being indistinct would mean Harry can't tell one goblin from another, not couldn't read his face.
"but I'll wave the charge for you." waive
"an added 50 galleons each, but I'll wave those for you." again waive
(going to the Leaky) Y'know, one might expect SOME other restaurant perhaps? But this is HP.
"under age magic use," underage
"still the superior dueler," duelist
"a poster of the Chudley Canons." Canons will not make an appearance in fanfic. :v Cannons.
" Ron was utterly devoted to the Canons " Cannons.
"in a plane wooden " plain
"They told him that as their financial supporter, Harry would own 10 of the company. Harry resolved to write them back to tell them that 10 was too much. "
Harry owns ten companies named Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes? That IS too much! Ten percent.
"the packaged she'd sent" package
"candy and Canons merchandise. " still Cannons
"I could really care less about the Canons. " couldn't, Cannons.
" I don't badmouth the Canons like everyone else" Cannons.
| Guest chapter 2 . 10/20/2014
" suggest you get out of her quickly" That's not Ron's *current* problem.
"The Dursley's have ignored me " Dursleys
"You've been stuck with the Dursley's every summer" and again
" you're already 90 of the way there" ninety percent
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/20/2014
"This was one of the very few things in his life for which he was grateful for at the moment." One redundant for.
"Weasley's had just finished" The Weasleys.
"If you say so, Harry" Sirius teased.[is missing comma after Harry]
| Lycanthromancer chapter 3 . 10/18/2014
Oh. Oh *my.* Harry actually castrated himself? Ow.
Or did you mean "castigated"? Because that would be far less extreme and make a lot more sense.
| zekses chapter 1 . 10/5/2014
While I do find it somewhat interesting, there is just too much fawning over Ginny gor me to read without skipping huge chunks of text. A good story overall, but, I am afraid, not exactly for boys :)
| fellow chapter 28 . 9/25/2014