Reviews for XMen Rising Part Two 'Fox in the Henhouse'
scribblemyname chapter 1 . 11/17/2010
I hate to say that this is not a review, but you've disable PM and it won't let me reply to your message, so I found a chapter I've never reviewed to hijack.

In short, if you start a forum, I'll be there. I don't do AIM, but we could also do a LJ community. Either one, I'm there. Just announce on your profile or message me, 'kay?
Switched-to-Silent chapter 5 . 9/19/2009
I don't know what it was that triggered it but I suddenly decided I needed to go read some X-Men fic even though I hadn't done so for years. Glad I decided to revisit your work and I'm hoping there's even just the slightest chance that this will one day be updated. I just love your characterizations so much.
one chapter 1 . 10/28/2007

at least finish the tape, please we are begging how many requests do u want
Ariyana chapter 5 . 6/12/2006
I finally read both parts of X-men Rising and I have to say your plot and characterizations are very good. The dialogue felt true to the characters in most respects. I loved the little quirks you added. You really did a great job of bringing the comic book personalities into the movieverse.

That being said I did notice a few hiccups in the prose. I've noted that you have a tendency to switch tenses in the same paragraph and even in the same sentence. That is not a good thing because I think the random tense changes broke up the flow of the prose to the point it would jar me out of the story. I think it is something you should watch out for when you are working on future stories. Randomly switching from past tense to present tense in the exact same sentence rarely works and just interrupts the overall feel of things. Did these events happen or are they happening right now? I did however like the switch from Third person to First person when a character would fall into a memory or flashback I've never seen that done before and I found it refreshing.

Overall I think this is a very good story and I enjoyed it much more than the third movie. I look forward to the next part.
Gynx8 chapter 5 . 6/6/2006
OMG that was brilliant! I love the angst! It's about time Rogue became more... Er assertive? lol And it seems like she'll be giving Logan a few headaches in future. ;) bwahaha. Payback for his soppy 'Scott wannabe' performance in X3 maybe? lol I cant wait till part 3, keep up the great work!
kitsuK8 chapter 5 . 6/4/2006
o intense! cant wait for the next installment! this is getting good! i love the way you write too! so...remy is like bad but on the good side...? ahh anyways love the adventure cant wait till the next update!

Anamarie Chambers chapter 5 . 6/3/2006
As have a tremendous way with words. I have to say that I absolutely LOVE the way you describe Remy's hair: "those cinnamon and marmalade bangs of his".

I also love the way you have him talk with the others. During the beginning of the chapter when they're talking about his work with Sinister and when he's talking about it to Rogue. '“Keeps me in the lifestyle I’m accustomed.” He deflated. “Y’ know. Roof, food, clothes,”.' Very nice.

I can't wait to see what will happen now that Malice is in the institute. I wonder if Beast will ever help free Remy from Sinister's clutches. I'm also curious to see more of the Rogue/Gambit relationship. This is an awesome story.

Jabba1 chapter 5 . 6/2/2006
“Make it so,” Xavier said decisively.

How very Captian Picard of you to have him say that. Hehehee!

Mystique stood over him with a glass of water and two aspirin in hand. He waved them off.

“Dr. Henry McCoy is no longer missing.”

He took the water.

“He’s requested a press conference with Senator Kelly.”

He took one of the aspirin.

“Xavier will be with him.”

He took the other one.

She knows him so well. Hehee!

This part had me confused for a bit::

“Yes, a tour would be pleasant,” said Emma as she tucked a lock of hair smartly behind her ear, composing herself...With that, they began the tour. They left the media and the security behind in the lobby.

That whole bit was parts of that flashbacks? Just like one part was present tense and the next paragraph was past or what was going on there? I think I understood some of what was happening but I am not sure.

Wasn't expecting Jean to be the person that they brought back and then let go, but I guess that ties in with the having Jean and Scott make babies so Essex can exploit them.

I am very much looking forward to see the next instalment. You totally rock my socks you know that right? Hehehe! ::huggs::
Jabba1 chapter 4 . 6/2/2006
Jubilee cocked her head to the side. “I’m not sure, but I think that was a burn.”

“Indeed, it was,” Xavier assured her. To Logan, he dismissed, “We’ll inform Gambit you’re looking for him if we see him.”

Hahahahahaahaa! Nice!

I am really loving Jubilee, she is just too cute! Like a new born colt or something tripping over its legs as it learns how to walk.

::reads next chapter::
Ludi chapter 5 . 6/2/2006
Hehehehe. And here I was thinking the last chapter was as long as it was going to get. And then look at this! Wow. It's almost like reading 'Seether' again - preparing oneself for long and winding roads with pitfalls scattered all over them... Not that I'm complaining or anything mind you. And no. You didn't send the last chapter by email. Or this one. But if you prefer me to write all my thoughts down in reviews rather than emails, then that's fine with me. ;)

Now onto the opening scene. I like the way you've captured Doug's childishness (or is that child-like-ness?), and how you've made it show through despite the technovirus? It is the technovirus, right? I'm not really that well-informed about Doug's background - but I'm sure I'll find out the truth of the matter at some point anyway. ;p And now I'm wondering who is Malice's next host. Psylocke? Storm? And I'm wondering about this whole Rogue/Logan thing. Like what was Logan's past with Carol Danvers? Hm...

"brusque and brash as a train chug, chug, chugging atop an anorexic, emaciated bridge over the Mississippi." This deserves to be in published print.

It's funny to see the different group dynamics working at such a speedy pace. You kinda get swept along with the tide of the dialogue and you really get a feel of some of the quick-fire responses the characters make. Even when you feel you have to read back on something someone says you find yourself hustled along before you can do so with the general pace of both the dialogue and the narrative, but this ain't no bad thing. ;) And the way you plug Hank's quotes in there is genius. Literally. ;) Naturally, Logan's highly receptive bullshitting receptors are making him the first to have a bee in his bonnet about 'the Cajun'. And Kitty's childish enthusiasm is - for lack of another justifiable phrase - pure Kitty. :)

Oh. I loved the set of scenes (the forming of the roster part) where all the little things are going on in the background and Logan's senses are, as always on high alert for every single little bit of it. It's amazing how you manage to tease out so much character development with just a few lines. Usually it takes me a few thousand words to do it all in. And you made me go onto Wikipedia just to figure out where exactly all those muscles belonged. Blast you! (But in the nicest way of course ;p) Ah yes, and the whole green eye/brown eye thing. Hee hee. I like that.

Hm. I'm liking Forge already. But that ain't really hard because I like him anyways. I like the way you kind of prod at motivations without going the whole way and stating them overtly. Like with the whole orange thing. Did Forge subconsciously 'forget' that he thought it was poisoned? Or did he think he would put Doug out of his misery if it was? The human mind is a complicated thing... you depict that with so few words and very skilfully. And reading of the growing and unlikely bond between Forge and Doug is really touching. Muted, but somehow more stirring than anything else you've written.

"This itch of a different kind he welcomed, delighted, and well, frankly, explicitly, saluted. Though, admittedly, it made it awkward for him to jog around the basketball court and cut out in front of her." Muahahaha, you so knew that was going to me going too, didn't you? :x

It was nice to see that little insight into Xavier's mind. Usually the writer assumes that the reader already knows him like the back of their hand; or that his motivations are so cliched and mundane it isn't worth lingering on. It's almost as if he's just some figurehead and isn't a character in his own right. Yet you make him feel human, rather than the demi-god many seem to make him out to be! It's nice to see that, for a change. :)

Hmm... I got carried away with reading again. The motivations, the interactions are slowly unfolding and then entertwining together... It's almost like I can feel it happening. And just to let you know that your misdirections are working pretty darn well, because I didn't have a clue that Malice's new host was going to be Jean (even though I really should've seen that one coming!). There are some parts that are confusing - but I suspect that that's more to do with the fact that you are being 'reticent' with information (and are being deliberately confusing) rather than being unwittingly confusing. Likewise, sometimes your choice of words and the way you express them is a little confusing, but I guess that's because you're being purposefully vague. Subsequently this chapter was harder work than the others - not simply for length but because of the added exposition. It took a few long hours of reading and coming back to it to fully appreciate it. I'm getting the feeling that this story is burgeoning and expanding even while you're writing it... But that could mean some more unexpected surprises are going to come over the horizon... for both you and the reader. :) This story feels a lot 'warmer' now than when I first started it. Or more settled and comfortable, to put it a little accurately. The misdirections planted in previous chapters are really starting to pay off. I'm really looking forward to how this progresses now, since as a whole the story is really getting far more involving and is rolling along with a great momentum of its own. And I am (needless to say) loving the whole Rogue/Remy developments with all their coy insinuation and charged innuendo. Very subtle, but boy could those undercurrents drag you away... I look forward to dissecting the next part when and as the various chapters come.

-Ludi x

PS:- While I was in the middle of reviewing this I got your email, but since I was in the middle of reading it her, I thought I'd finish the review here. But thanks for the attachment anyway, and I look forward to further fanfic donations. :D As for my own story... I am so honoured that you are enjoying it so far. I may very well post it, but after I've had your full opinion of it - if there's anything I need to rewrite, I'd rather do it before I start posting, if you know what I mean. I'm just paranoid; and a little uncertain as to whether some stuff will be appropriate - the whole Rifkind part requires some heavy duty reading from a reader whose sensibilities aren't offended by tough subject matter... But anyhow, such discussions are best left to email, I guess. Hope to hear from you (and further writing developments) within the week!
angw chapter 5 . 6/2/2006
Bring on Part three... I like the change of story from one character to another. Looking forward to the rest of this story.
SocialWorker84 chapter 5 . 6/1/2006
That was an awesome story! What is going on with Rogue though? Can't wait for the next part!

ishandahalf chapter 5 . 6/1/2006
"i'm the juggernaut, bitch!"... yeah, that was great. even though i had no idea what it was referring to at the time and was wondering why the hell my sister was nearly dying from laughter, until she explained it to me. then i practically fell off my chair when i watched the video... good stuff. nice to see they can poke fun at themselves. ;)

but anyhoo. more fab stuff! i liked remy's... i don't know what you'd call it. worry? guilt? self-pity? all 3 rolled into one, perhaps. i just find it extremely interesting that although he seems so sneaky and distrustful, we're also getting glimpses of him caring, not only about his own outcomes, but what the others think of him as well. his french rant was rather amusing. i was actually trying to read through it and translate it myself, testing to see if my french skills still remained, but i gave up halfway through. i suppose stopping french class four years ago and not practising (unless you count the usual 'cheres' in romy fics) really will send a language down the tubes...

but speaking of, LOVED the rogue/remy interaction in this chapter. SO good! i simply adore how he's drawn to her, perhaps despite his better judgment. speaking of judgment, that bobby/kitty thing intrigued me. huh, to tell you the truth, i wasn't expecting bobby to really reject kitty like that - or perhaps i was HOPING he wouldn't, so the path would be slightly clearer for rogue and remy...

but! ah HAH! i literally said that out loud when jean appeared at the end there... so she's the fox in the henhouse? or one of, at least. dun dun duhh! now THAT is going to be interesting... anything with malice sends shivers down my spine - i just can't comprehend the creepiness of something taking over your body and you have no control over it. *shudder*

anyhoo. of course, i can't wait for more! here's hoping the next part'll be up soon. and here's hoping my update will be too, since i got my chapters recovered... huzzah. :) mayhaps we'll arrange a trade? i'll post my next part and you post yours? ;) and i probably just jinxed myself again - i bet my computer will crash in 5, 4, 3...
Jason chapter 5 . 6/1/2006
“So you’re a mercenary,” Scott stated more than asked Gambit.

“I’m a independent contractor,” Gambit said. He smirked. “Freelance. Security ain’t usually my style, though.” He shrugged, non-committal. “Work’s work.”





...oh. Pietro. Damn speedster and his stupid Mists. D

You really need to catch up on comic lore, Randi, kekeke. Otherwise I'll find other things ironic that you won't, like...say... ERIK/WICKED LOLOLWTF?


He grinned, wicked, naughty, and genuine. “There be better ways t’ get a little flesh t’ flesh with this willing Cajun.”

Remy, you dog.


Hey...what happened to part six? Are you cheating us out of it? D

Heheh. I can't bloody WAIT for the next part.

Chat Room: Randisficisbetter. JOIN EET. D
angw chapter 4 . 6/1/2006
Great follow up for the next installment.
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