|Reviews for the exiles|
| PieInYourFace chapter 1 . 12/14/2015
You should get a beta reader. If you can't find one, then could you please not put dialogue in the middle of a paragraph? Other than that, yo have a great storyline.
| BeautifulxButterflies chapter 2 . 1/13/2009
Lol you made Robin such an arse! lol
| Rhetorical-Ducky chapter 1 . 4/30/2007
dang it, i hate ooc's. o well, grin and bear it:)
| kitcatofthenight chapter 2 . 4/23/2007
You need to be more discriptive, like anyone who hasn't seen Sailor Moon, wouldn't have known wat Hotaru looked like.
| kitcatofthenight chapter 1 . 4/23/2007
Dude just Raven was OC? Star was OCC like watch..
“Betrayed X’hal she was scared, what was she supposed to do come out and say ‘by the way I’m half demon and destined to destroy the world?’”
Mine: Betrayed? X'Hal Friend Raven was scared! What was she to do Friend Robin? Come to us and say "I am Half Demon, destined to destory the world?"
| Lawn Trout chapter 6 . 11/14/2006
Kinda messy, and there are so many characters all over the place it's hard for me to keep track of them all, but I think I'm getting the story.
Robin exploding at Raven in the first chapter was intense...poor girl.
(ShadowNighthawk on Imdb)
| Belllla chapter 6 . 8/26/2006
EEP! I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE UPDATE!
| Scourge of Badfic chapter 1 . 8/19/2006
Hey, you really do need a beta. I know it's been said before, but grammatically your story is a mess.
A beta would also help point out logical errors, like why would Robin kick Raven off the Titans considering that TRIGON STILL WOULD HAVE COME EVEN IF SHE HADN'T BEEN A MEMBER.
In fact, if Raven hadn't been a member, everyone on earth would have remained as statue until Trigon's demise, which could theoretically happen never.
| darkbird101 chapter 6 . 8/14/2006
Sorry i havent reviewed in a while. But your story rocks! I love it!I love Saya shes so cool
| darkbird101 chapter 2 . 8/14/2006
I like Raven's new friends. They kick butt!
| darkbird101 chapter 1 . 8/14/2006
Robin's a jerk. His Red X was pretty bad too as you said. Great chapter!
| raven13 chapter 1 . 8/7/2006
okkaay. I have to say, the titans are out of character.
Other than that, good story.
| SushiChica chapter 2 . 7/14/2006
1. "/Sorry I’m late/ signed Joey as he walked up /Okay I talked to my mom on the phone/"
I beg to differ. Jericho explicitly states that he talked to his mother on the phone. And if it was on a video phone, SAY SO. You always have to assume that your readers are clueless as to what's going on.
2. I don't CARE if Robin's jerk-ness will be explained later, and the fact that you now say you don't like him in general makes me think that you're pointlessly bashing him. Do us all a favor and don't defile the characters that we love. At that point in the continuity, Robin was especially nice to Raven. At the very least, come up with a NEW situation that he was angry at her for. And for Christ's sake, make it REALISTIC, not "I was nice to you before but now I'm going to kick you out on your ass because I've suddenly morphed into Jackass!Robin."
3. Excuse me for not picking up on the cure in your writing. I think my head was hurting too much at that point.
4. I've looked at all your other stories. Not that much better, love.
5. You have a crappy edition of Microsoft Word then, my friend. You're missing punctuation EVERYWHERE, and that doesn't get messed up during document uploading. The only thing I've noticed that can get spotty about uploading is spaces between words. Maybe twice every document will a space go missing, causing two words to smash together, but puncutation will always remain throughout. And Document Manager uploading doesn't explain why three characters are talking in the same paragraph.
| SushiChica chapter 1 . 7/13/2006
-examines your profile-
Wait...someone BETA READ this? And like...said it was okay to post?
Tip: Get. A. New. Beta. Reader. Like, NOW.
Okay, now first things first. Robin? He's like the raging OOC man of doom. Have you even SEEN any of the "End" episodes? Robin was there for it through it all. He wouldn't just up and kick her out after going so far to help her. He's being such an ASSHOLE in your story, I'm wondering if you've ever even watched the SHOW before. The Robin you're portraying here deserves a swift kick in the balls and nothing less. More, maybe. But at the very least that.
I'm not even going to go into the second chapter it's so messy. Terra's back, completely unexplained, Raven's met any number of video game/other comic book characters, Robin's still being a dickwad, and Jericho is mute, but he somehow talked to his mother on the phone. And EVERONE that I know from either the comics or the show are OOC. I'm sure the ones from the games are probably radically off as well. Hell, you have Starfire calling Robin nuts.
Yeah, I'm not buying that.
Your spelling, grammar, punctuation, and etc. are messy and volatile at best. Work on these. Get a word proccessor. And for the love of God, get a better beta reader, because this one probably can't tell a comma from a bracket.
| dark girl chapter 1 . 5/25/2006
It was very good
please update soon I'll be waiting