Reviews for Best Enemies: Redux
Itachi's aprentice chapter 1 . 4/4/2010
Great work.
MuffinMuffinGirl chapter 2 . 3/5/2010
Yay, Black Adder (yes I am that sad)
JEGO chapter 15 . 2/21/2010
great story

2 thumbs up
JEGO chapter 1 . 2/21/2010
New Year's Eve. Kim lay on her bed and stared up at the ceiling. ""Ron was out with Amelia"". Zita had to work and ""Ron had managed to score a date with a major hottie"" on one of the most serious date nights of the year. Monique was at a party also, and Felix was out of town. Kim had stopped by the party at Tara's, and ended up feeling pathetic because she was the only one without a date.

2 instances of what Ron is doing on that nite
yorushijima chapter 15 . 1/30/2010
Excellent story.

I really enjoyed it and got drawn in despite only

having a passing knowledge of the characters.

I did like the references to "Pride and Prejedice" though I suppose Shego isn't as calm as Mr. Darcy.

Running to rescue "Elizabeth" however, is something Mr. Darcy would do though. :D

Thank you again. It was a wonderful read.
hungryforcookies chapter 1 . 12/21/2009
I love how you can capture Shego's personality. Not many can come up with witty remarks as you (and StarvingLunatic NoDrogs). Well anywhoo; that's all I got to say. Oh yea, I'd just like to tell you that I've read this fanfic, like 10 times already. -Sigh-, it's too awsuum, u know? I'm surprised that you only have 185 reviews. This deserves more, damnit! But I guess it's the quality not the quantity, eh?

PS: If you still remember me (which I highly doubt so), I'm lonelywithoutyou. (:
Scion-of-Thanatos chapter 15 . 8/17/2009
After reading this story, I can see why I was drawn to your stories. Though I wasn't around for the first edition of B.E, I can say that this incarnation was above and beyond my expectations.

Before going further, I must say that I didn't quite start on this story in particular, and read a few of the short stories you'd written involving this universe first. Needless to say I'm more interested in the BoRon in later stories, though I've yet to finish any of them, but the KiGo in this has been wonderful.

All of the praise you've been given has been earned, I must say!

However, I've noticed one thing in this story, and that was certain words were added to sentences in particular where they either made the narrative redundant or repetitive. I can't call out any particular instance, but every other paragraph it seemed like a word might have been added by accident or mistake.

There is one thing about your stories that attracted me most of all, and that's the odd habit you seem to have about rounding your word total to the nearest thousand. Kind of cool, in my opinion. I've never seen such a unique.. signature, I believe is the word I'm looking for.

All in all, I love the universe you've created, and I will be reading the rest of the stories you've written involving these characters. It's just too good to pass up.

See Ya!
Tjikicew chapter 13 . 7/4/2009
Sorry this isn't a proper review, just very interested:

How many got the Poindexter?

I promise a real review at the end!
Alexander - Godslayer chapter 15 . 5/13/2009
Well, after your latest comments, I decided to go check your fic for once and for all, and I gotta say, I’m really pleased with what I’ve read.

When I started reading it, I had no little to no idea of what it would be, so I can say I entered nearly completely expectative-free. Introduction was a bit dull, because it seemed to be made just to clear up that Kim and Ron weren’t dating anymore, but it soon much more interesting with Shego deciding to call Kim. After that, the story follows a good pace by showing us Shego performing her plan, without telling us what her plan is, keeping the reader curious enough to keep reading ‘til finding the answer. Finally, we’re set on the new “Status Quo” of this fic, which are the meetings at Friday. Something that, as repetitive as it could possibly be, you managed to keep as interesting during the whole story, either because Kim or Shego have interesting stuff to chat about, or because we know something new is gonna happen on the next Friday and we can’t wait to see the reaction of the other part. This is “flavoured” by separate events happening every now and then, like Kim’s mission to a plane, which serves to show even more sides of each characters, or the later “Shego comes to have dinner” sequences, and also adorned with references to the fanon, like the background lesbian and the “homage” to Rina’s short comic. In the overall, the best of all this is that there’s not one boring part in the whole story. It keeps the reader entertained from tip to toe, and even at the end, it leaves him wanting more.

And speaking about the end, well, quite an open ending you left there. This fic starts and end with Shego still being a criminal, which keeps a hurting blade in the middle of the relationship and many unsolved problems, yet, the feelings are there, and things keep progressing. Gotta give you some credit for taking this unusual angle for a story, though I’m not sure if it would have been a good idea if this fic didn’t have a sequel, but then again, I doubt you would have leave it as that if you hadn’t had a sequel in mind already.

Moving on, another remarkable element of this fanfic is the narrative technique, on that is usually really, really good, but a few time it turns out to be a double-edge sword. Why do I say this? Because the narration is fluid, fast and entertaining, but just a few times, it gets way too fast and this causes confusion for a moment, particularly when the characters jump from one place to another in just one line. But in the overall, this is a small price to pay for such a good narrative quality that goes along with the fomented desire on the reader to go on.

That said, I’m afraid that while the narration is excellent, the dialog suffer a few flaws. The worst of it is that sometimes the conversations feel forced, with a character giving a long monologue that made me wonder when the heck the other character present was going to interrupt, but it doesn’t happen. And sometimes, it’s like you’re trying too hard to justify certain decisions made. I lost count on how many times Kim’s and Ron’s break up was brought up again, or how many references to Canon were made to justify why it didn’t work. It’s not that those fragments of dialogs don’t make sense, but they do feel unnecessary sometimes. Fortunately, these problem just arise a few times and every now and then and are usually short, so it doesn’t become really annoying, and the story’s flow keeps moving on shortly after.

Portrayal excels, and I don’t think this is an exaggeration. The characters are kept close to canon, but made much more interesting than usual thanks to added background or more serious conflicts to face, and by reminding us of both their qualities and flaws. Secondary characters are also given enough role and different ways to shine every now and then, although there’s two character that just… well, for one, Yori’s portrayal felt way to convenient to easily pair her with Ron, and Ron is a bit too dark a few times. But apart from them, the rest of the cast is great.

There’s only one big critic I dare do to the portrayal, and that’s that the homosexuality factor is taken as too simple. So much that Kim doesn’t ever show fear of the consequences declaring herself a lesbian could bring about. She does express doubt, but no fear, and neither of them by the second half of the story. Something sad, since I kinda looked forward to a good take on that the more things seemed to approach to it, but it was never there in the end.

Overall, I believe you did an excellent job with this fic. It’s not perfect, but it’s not the kind of story that will be remembered by its flaws, but by the good time it gives to the reader. It’s unique on its own way, and definitely a more than worth reading and a pretty fresh KiGo story. And after all this, I can say I’m certainly looking forward to the next episodes of the Best Enemies series, so if you can give me guide of them in the correct order, I’d be grateful.

I hope you enjoyed this review, and that you can keep up the good work too. _

Good luck, and see ya around the Slash Haven.
DrakkenWasHere chapter 1 . 2/6/2009
Hm...Were to begin?

To start off, sorry for taking so long to review. I am a procrastinator by nature. (Also a bad speller, but you shall find that out.)

Though I am more of a Rokken fan, I found your story to be adorable. It's good to see the two women have insecurities. It makes them more well rounded, and a little easier to relate to. Shego and Kim are both strong females, but even they need another to confide in.

I also thought your take on Kim was interesting. I've never seen a fiction that has showed her to be dependenable on others. I can see how she might be lacking in the social department. She doesn't seem to have that much time for otheres, except her close friends. Heck, she barely ever went on a date with anyone.

You know what, I think Shego has had a hard life. She must be very lonely. That's what I like about this tale. You can feel her need...her want for Kimmie. Many times I was absorbed in the story, and thought I was the character! That's how well your writing is.

I did find it a little different, how clingy Kim had become. Not saying it's bad, 'twas just different. The only time I think I saw anything close to this, was during Emmotion Sickness. Hehe...I liked that episode.

I think my only complaint, would have to be about there not being enought Drakken. -P
Poetheather1 chapter 15 . 1/15/2009
The whole story was a wonderful read. Thank you for sharing. Now I need to read the rest of the series.
Reni chapter 1 . 1/6/2009
I am sure you are aware of this, but I would like to point it out anyway, just in case. In paragraph five of the first chapter on 'Best Enemies: Redux', Unhappy New Year, there is a misspelling.

"Major social fox paws there, KP. You want me to try to set you up with somebody?"

The correct spelling is faux pase, I believe, though you may wish to double check(my spelling is awful when it comes to foreign languages). Of course, considering that the speaker is Ron, it could also be seen as a, rather humorous, deliberate botch to preserve his unique character.

I have only read the first chapter, but may I say that this is quite well written and highly interesting.

Hoping to review again,

Reni Star
Jyuami chapter 3 . 11/3/2008
Well I for one, am very happy that A Markov suggested you do a re-write.

This chapter turned out way better than before. I am surprised and excited that most of the chapter stayed the same. I love how you tweaked it a little though. It fits into everything so smoothly, you did a great job. _

I especially loved how Shego shared some of her disappointments with her goal last summer with Kim. It just made Shego all the more real to me. Yes, she has goals. She’s even a master! This makes all the more sense that she exploded at Kim for accusing her of not taking it (the fighting) seriously in the last chapter. This all makes Shego all the more deeper, and I love every moment of it!

Did I mention how much I am enjoying the redux of yours? Because I really am. XD Oh and the part about Motor Ed still cracked me up! I'm glad you kept it. :D

Jyuami
Jyuami chapter 2 . 11/3/2008
It seems that because I already review for every chapter before you re-did Best Enemies, I am no longer “allowed” to submit reviews.

I’m so depressed.

However I’m sure you must feel worse. But then again, this has been out for a while too. _

I liked reading that Shego has devised a plan of her own. So often I see that we overlook the fact that Shego is a very cunning mastermind in planning. She was the one that kept Team Go together anyways, or at least that's what I've found out in one of the episodes in season 4. Of course she is portrayed as extremely lazy and apathetic to care to devise a plan, so it’s great to see/read that she is taking some initiative to get what she wants.

I also really loved the whole bow to each other before each fight. I’m so glad that you expanded on that. Then the bet about how long it would take Shego to break out of prison was priceless! Oh, I can just see the whole scene play out! You know I may just do a little comic strip about this. I'll get back to you if I do. _ I would want you to know about it first, not like the last scene I did for you. hahaha. ;

Jyuami
Jyuami chapter 1 . 11/3/2008
Okay wow! I can’t believe that I have put off reading this for so long!

You know that I loved this fic, way back when it first came out. Anyways, I have to say that you made me fall in love with it all over again. _

I love the easy writing style you have. The irony and interplay that occurs between the characters are very akin to actual cannon possibilities. It’s just wonderful how you can keep the characters so in character, and then slowly move them out of the “established” character that Disney has given them. I loved how you re-did chapter one. Expanded on it really. It’s definitely got more depth to it, and I loved how you incorporated season 4 too. I’ll admit I haven’t finished watching season 4, but I have seen most of the episodes. I love the way you write out Kim and Shego’s mental dialogue. The way they reason with themselves is just so perfect to me. :D

I love it. Wonderful job. I can’t wait to read the next chapter. :D

Jyuami
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