Reviews for The New Nerima Wrecking Crew REVISED!
Ganheim chapter 1 . 5/17/2009
I don't think Inuyasha has a last name, so it's going to be Higurashi

[That’s correct, Inuyasha is his given name and there’s never a clan name given even for Sesshoumaru]

The New NWC Chapter 1 The Three families

A lot of things had changed since the failed wedding.

[Why is it that all these divergences try to branch out after the conclusion of the manga? That’s generally too late to affect a serious change to the character interrelations: everybody’s too set in their ways by that point. Just mentioning]

Ranma asked Colgone

[Cologne]

for assiatance

[assistance]

makes them terrorfied

[terrified, and if you’re wondering the fear’s specific name is ‘ailurophobia’]

Eventually Ranma learns to control it

[Oh, that takes so much fun out of the NWC, besides the fact that Ranma didn’t seem all that concerned about having Happosai acknowledge his position – Ranma knew that his recognition would come from alternative, better people]

Ranma-Chan

[‘chan’ is an honorific suffix (it’s relatively diminuitive), and while I realize that it’s convention to use it to identify Ranma in his female cursed form, please capitalize it properly. It’s not capitalized at all]

with their parents as witnesses.

[Oh, yeah, like _that’s_ going to keep things peaceful]

publicly commiting sucicide

[I can’t think of _committing suicide_ via train being a private matter]

Lost Boy Ryouga who jumped out of the ground,

[Hey, _that’s_ not contrived /sarcasm]

The nice men in white coats were called and Kodachi was dragged kicking and screaming to the nuthouse.

[And _that’s_ not contrived either. /sarcasm. I fear to think how you’ll butcher the other fiancées]

...Plus Nabiki paid him what his okonomiyaki cart was worth plus interest.

[Obviously you don’t understand honor dynamics. The monetary value of the cart was negligible compared to the significant weight of honor its acceptance meant, and the fact that it’s never returned (which itself would have been a grievous insult) meant that Genma never officially disagreed with the engagement and therefore doesn’t have any business getting involved – you may note in the series that Genma doesn’t emotionally approve but never really sticks his nose into that engagement]

In dealing with Shampoo, Ranma convinced Mousse that the only way win over the Purple haired Amazon was to defeat her, NOT him.

[Obviously somebody hasn’t been paying attention to the series: the manga explicitly states that Mousse defeating Shampoo would’ve done nothing: he’s not an outsider and all Shampoo would be required would be at most to hear out a request, not even accept it]

they were married soon after.

[I know a lot of people push a “Shampoo-Mousse” romantic pairing, but have you ever actually read/watched the series? She holds absolutely no romantic feelings for him; at best she hates the suffocating attention he gives her. He doesn’t pay attention to what she says or wants. People who don’t like Mousse say that he’s not at all in love, he’s either in lust or after her political power (since Shampoo is of the House of the Matriarch). People who do like Mousse say that he’s blind to the facts and Shampoo still wouldn’t be an ideal partner for him. Either way, trying to shove them into a relationship is using a couple contrivances to shoehorn them out of the picture – I’m not sure about how Mousse feels, but I know for a fact that Shampoo is truly in love with Ranma and there’s no indication of her emotional devastation at the turns of events you’ve thrown out]

and convinced Soun to join them in teaching.

[The issue with Soun wasn’t him being distracted with Genma, the series implied repeatedly that the death of his wife made him so emotionally unstable that he was no longer capable of teaching and hence his students left and nobody came back. This is important to keep in mind for Akane’s sake: it emphasizes that a large amount of her martial arts skill was self-taught since she couldn’t depend on her father, who besides being an overprotective father was too emotionally distraught to really teach her]

Nekohaten(Cate Cafe)

[Pick one: either the Japanese title ‘Nekohanten’/‘Neko Hanten’ (spacing optional, the kanji isn’t but the Latinized lettering probably should be) or ‘Cat Café’]

She lets him teach the amazon techniques

[Hey, that’s not so contrived as to be a disservice to the canon series /sardonism]

now Takewaki Kuno was principal.

[Tatewaki’s shown to be a skilled leader but never interested in education administration. You can go ahead and do this if you want, but if you want respect for your story then go through the effort of showing us the changes that lead to him doing this. Don’t just try to cram it down our throats or people like me will say ‘no, that doesn’t make sense. Do the work’ and call it lazy writing like it is]

A creature appeared out of nowhere in the center of a throne room

[How descriptive! /sarcasm]

It involves..."

[It involves trailing off and you forgetting to put so much as a narrative cover-up over the fact that something should’ve been said to complete the sentence?]

he was wearing a a lab coat made of fire rat fur

[A lab coat of fire rat fur? Can I get a ‘denied’ from anybody else? Thank you, I thought so]

" Iron reaper!"

[If this is supposed to be a crappy translation of ‘Senkon Tessou’, I know that the morons at VIZ called it ‘iron reaver soul stealer’ (how I cringe to hear it, much less to have to write it), you should know that the kanji doesn’t mean that. It properly translates to ‘soul-reaving iron claws’, and things like that are why I personally use the Japanese attack names]

her momnetum

[momentum]

for momment it

[a moment]

was fighitng with

[fighting]

a momment from

[moment]

have a carring mate.

[caring]

" Sora wa himitsu desu.(That's a secret.)"

[Your lame attempt at unnecessary Japanese is denied]

The neko hanyou could

[A neko is a cat. Inuyasha is a dog hanyou]

visist your Obaa."

[Unnecessary Japanese, but as many times as you abuse this I’m going to stop pointing it out]

Said Mrs. H.

[No]

Said Ji-chan

[That is _not_ his name]

my rep presedes

[precedes]

Durring a case

[During]

as Spirt Dectective

[Spirit Detective]

his familar.

[familiar]

especailly when

[especially]

in fornt of

[front]

" Very well. I will transfer you to another city, it's called Nerima.

[Nerima is not a city, it’s a subdistrict of Tokyo]

Werid things happen

[Weird]

the most bizzare

[bizarre]

The issue with this chapter, besides wild OOC particularly in the Ranma crew, was plot contrivances. I’m not going to tell you not to try certain new plot ideas, I usually say go for it. However, you have to proceed to them in a sensible manner. Don’t just zip from ‘where canon is’ to ‘where you want things to end up’, you have to do the work of moving things sensibly from the start point to the variance point. Just telling us ‘oh, hey, things are this way’ is cramming something that doesn’t fit down our throats.
randall chapter 20 . 10/5/2008
good job so far i am looking foward to reading the rest
KyuubiWindscar chapter 20 . 7/9/2008
Are you done with this? I've been following since KCD Ch12 was posted about two years ago, and I just want to know whether or not you're done with this storyline.
The Silent Cartographer chapter 20 . 12/13/2007
An executioner? Hmm... is it Mei's sister or maybe Cologne? Any ways I was wondering what you were going to do with the other feudal era characters such as Katsuro.
Dragon Man 180 chapter 20 . 12/13/2007
So many characters after so long and all the subplots... I have a feeling I'm going to drive people just as crazy as this is driving me when I really get into stuff in Hanyou Trials except for when I resolve stuff within a few chapters.

The chess game is confusing, it's hard keeping track of who is who and not knowing what's going on.

I feel sorry for Ebisu, I hope he makes up with Mei soon.
Tristar chapter 19 . 8/28/2007
ok I've been wondering what ever happened to Noame? last I saw of her she appeared in the last scene of Kagome the cat demon holding what I can only assume was an infant Naraku. For that matter what happened to Kenpachi you know the foot ball jock that got possesed by demons? What of his brother? On that note wheres Hedun? Most of these characters I haven't seen in awhile.

What's with Michiro and AKira little game? Do they enjoy toying with other peoples lives? Are they working for some other power or just doing this for the enjoyment?

I kinda feel sorry for Ebisu considering what's happening to him isn't entirly his fault...Heck most of it isn't his fault! He was used as a pawn in someone elses little game.
Tristar chapter 18 . 8/28/2007
lol...that chase scene! Oh my Goddess, Sailor Moon, and Tenchi Muyo! lol.
Dragon Man 180 chapter 19 . 8/19/2007
It should be heel, not keel. At least I think so. Nice training for Homura, plus her relationship with Genkai is a nice change. I can totally see Genkai coming back to Nerima with her and seeing how Keisou is doing.
The Silent Cartographer chapter 19 . 8/19/2007
Oh man, if anything this teaches you an all important lesson... NEVER CHEAT ON YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER! Although, I don't think that it is entirely his fault. I'm sure Michiko had something to do with it.
The Silent Cartographer chapter 18 . 7/16/2007
Well, this is very interesting. That word Rinku was going to say was marriage wasn't it.
Dragon Man 180 chapter 18 . 6/5/2007
Oh My Goddess, Tenchi Muyo, and Magic Knights Rayearth in that order! Where's my cookie?

I think the reason haven't caught on to Akira and Michiko's games is because the games aren't designed to kill them like Naraku's games were. Still, I hope those two make a mistake and get caught and get the punishment they deserve for treating people like they are. Kagome will be especially disappointed in Akira since he knows about Naraku.
NoshMono chapter 17 . 2/8/2007
Urameshis blowing up their house. That's a riot and it's also kinda good to see that Soun reacts obsessively as usual. 'My precious granddaughter's wings have been clipped'

Inca spoon? What does it mean, anyway? The gauntlet is like a water filter, making Keisou sounds like a sissy. That's a good one as well.

With Ebisu and Homura looking like they're an item, I wonder what will happen to Keisou and Mei. Ah well, I can't wait to see how it turns out
Hirrayami Otoni chapter 17 . 2/3/2007
lol! Maan thatw as fun! (yeah took me thsi time to read. I wa son winter vacation, sorry mate ; )

another chaotic twist of fate... I love it. cant wait to see what happens next.
Dragon Man 180 chapter 17 . 1/31/2007
I don't like the fact that the chess game is paralleling the date, Akira should know better than to play with human lives. I think he needs a big lecture from Kagome and Inuyasha and then have his alchemy somehow sealed so he can learn to appreciate the people in his games are real and have their own feelings. Michiko needs to be crushed, she's trying to ruin everyone's happiness it seems.
Hirrayami Otoni chapter 16 . 12/4/2006
you're welcome. I know how it is with college and all.

Btw... THAT was freaky... Keisou a goody goddy, remind em of goody darbula. *shivers*
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