|Reviews for What If Snape Died|
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 34 . 7/18
It was an OK story but it could have been better. I would have enjoyed it more if you hadn't deliberately killed off more than Snape. In particular you killed off Lily and Frank and Voldemort just because they died (or as good as died) in canon. You went out of your way to parallel canon events rather than thinking things through afresh. You reproduced the "Lily's touch" Deus Ex Machina from canon. You also gratuitously reproduced the canon pairing of Harry and Ginny for no good reason. It was an interesting story, but there were a lot of choices that didn't necessarily follow from the premise. I would have liked to have seen a story where all four parents live because Voldemort doesn't learn of the prophesy. Of course, that means Voldemort's free to do something more intelligent than hunt down little kids, like maybe attack the Ministry. Harry and Neville are raised as refugees or maybe in a resistance movement and come back and reconquer magical Britain when they're of age.
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 31 . 7/17
Poor Neville, left out again. I hope he at least gets to watch it in a Pensieve later.
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 28 . 7/17
Pretty shocking that anyone would use the cruciatus curse to discipline their own son and only heir.
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 27 . 7/17
Looks like Sirius has his hands full, disciplining both a child and a house elf that don't want to respect or obey him.
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 26 . 7/17
Draco's pretty thick, but sadly he's in character.
The chapter seems fine to me, good choice of what to include.
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 25 . 7/17
James was too easily manipulated. I think if I were him I'd say "Nice try, Neville. But this magic is much too evil for little kids to know about. Just knowing what's necessary to make one might give you nightmares. You already know that they're extremely dangerous and can possess people and make them do horrible things, and that's enough."
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 21 . 7/17
I didn't hold a lot of sympathy for Percy until they started pranking him. But it's below the belt to tease a kid for being in the wrong house. He chose to be in Gryffindor, not Slytherin, despite his ambition. It's OK to tease him for being a suck-up, but not by labeling him a Slytherin. There really aren't any suck-ups in Slytherin, so it's not a valid equation, and besides, it's just cruel to not accept a kid into his own house. In GoF it was also cruel for the Gryffindors to censure Harry for being the fourth champion. It would have been just as cruel even if he had deliberately put his name into the cup. A kid should not be teased by telling him he's not welcome in his own house for any reason. What riles us about the Dursleys is that Harry's made to feel unwelcome in his own home.
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 18 . 7/17
My feeling is that no truly cunning person would ever tolerate being labeled 'cunning', so you're never going to find true Slytherins in Slytherin House. Besides, the sorting hat really decides your house based upon what virtue you value most, not what you already have the most of. Pettigrew was a coward, but he got put into Gryffindor anyway because courage is the virtue he valued the most, above knowledge, cunning and hard work. Children tend to value the same things their parents have taught them to value, which explains why certain houses run in certain families.
Suck-ups make at least as great a to-do about their grades as eager students who aren't suck-ups. The eager student is actually more concerned about acquiring the knowledge for its own sake or the ability to use that knowledge than for the grade that they'll earn. For suck-ups, it's all about the recognition in the form of grades or rewards or praise that they'll earn from the teacher. Hermione is a horrible suck-up. She's always going on irrationally about her grades, as though if she misses one question on one exam she's going to fail the course. For her any Exceeds Expectations is a failure because she's satisfied only with Outstanding. She's constantly trying to prove her superiority over her peers so she's not really being humble at all. For Hermione, knowledge is about demonstrating to her teachers and her peers her superior intellect because she thinks a superior intellect means she's a superior person. She's more than just an eager student; she looks up to authority figures as some kind of god or goddess, meanwhile looking down on her peers as lesser beings because of their inferior knowledge. Sadly, she gets Harry and Ron to buy into that so they don't even try to compete with her.
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 17 . 7/17
Feels like kinda a cheat to have Dumbledore just declare that the locket is destroyed even though they can't get it open. If it's truly been destroyed it shouldn't be able to close and lock any more. This was written pre-DH so it wasn't yet apparent that in canon it couldn't be destroyed without a Parselmouth to open it first.
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 14 . 7/17
Lily's burning touch protecting Harry is a Deus Ex Machina. Anything can happen with a Deus Ex Machina. If you want to be logical about it, it should have burnt any of the Dursleys that ever maliciously laid a hand on Harry too.
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 10 . 7/16
Th inscription on the Mirror of Erised isn't Latin. It's just backwards and divided into words funny. Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi Ishow no tyo urfac ebu tyo urhe arts desire I show not your face but your heart's desire.
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 7 . 7/16
Your characters seem cartoonish. One minute Harry's overly polite and introducing himself in an unrealistically mature fashion and the next minute he's shouting his head off and putting up a tantrum like a 2 year old. The Weasleys act the same overly cute/overly terrible way. And then they're off to Paris where they just happen to observe Hermione in one of her 2 year old moments. I'm sure it's only going to get worse next chapter. It all seems overdrawn with heavy outlines, more like a cartoon than real life.
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 6 . 7/16
Mr Weasley knows bits and pieces about Muggle artifacts, nothing about Muggle games and sports. They would play exploding snap and wizard chess. There are probably some non-magical games in common with Muggles such as hide and seek and tag that underage witches and wizards play, but they wouldn't be thought of as Muggle games.
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 4 . 7/16
I can't believe that James would ground Harry for five years! Perhaps some parents might, but James knows good flying when he sees it and isn't afraid of it. Harry's had a practice broom since his first birthday (DH chapter 10). He's surely not afraid that Harry's going to fall off since he's already seen him fly with a height limit for four years now.
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 1 . 7/16
Trelawney was interviewed in the Hogs Head Inn, not the Three Broomsticks. Neither one make any sense. Teacher interviews should take place in the headmaster's office at Hogwarts. There was absolutely no justification for Dumbledore interviewing a teacher in her bedroom at the inn unless the job went for sexual favors.