|Reviews for The Spider and the Fly|
| Guest chapter 5 . 7/9/2013
I've always been a huge Storm fan(although not a fan of her with Black Panther) but the way you wrote her in this story she comes off as a completely selfish bitch. She keeps acting like she's sorry but she keeps going out and doing it again and again, I don't know if I would of went as far as Logan to get back at her but she def. was not a good person
| JayDay chapter 5 . 8/28/2012
RoLo is one of my two favourite x-men couples. Though I prefer them to have a happy ending, this story had me hooked. It was well written and refreshing. In my head, I'm going to pretend that "trouble" (the guy who met her when she was working in the motel and went on to live in Paris with) was sabretooth. I'm also going to pretend that her 'lover' was Remy even though his speech didn't match. But I guess that's the beauty of fanfiction, you get to recreate the "reality" and the outcome.
| Alaynna chapter 5 . 6/2/2009
I've been watching this story for quite awhile. Please continue it soon!
| charrrmed chapter 5 . 4/15/2009
This was a great story. I never thought I'd like a RoLo story where there wasn't a happy ending. I felt so much for Logan. I couldn't bring myself to hate Ororo though. I just kept willing her to change! Obviously, that was in vain. lol. I kept thinking the mystery man was Remy, but I realized that you didn't write it the way Remy would talk. I also thought it might have been Scott, but something tell me it wasn't. Logan killed her at the end! I didn't cheer. I just felt sad. Again, really great story.
| Kairan1979 chapter 5 . 1/21/2009
Very emotional story. We can see Ororo that falled from grace and keep destroying herself and the men around her. I feel pity for Logan, and anger for woman who hurt him so deeply.
I guess he killed her in the last chapter? Good riddance. And maybe the only way for Logan to move on.
| fantasyfemme chapter 5 . 1/20/2009
liked the story! always good to know other ppl besides me like Logan & Ro together. also liked the Mid Summer Night's and Spider & the Fly referance!
| witchlite chapter 5 . 12/16/2007
I love rolo, no matter what type of relationship they have, safe and loving, rocky and stormy, but this a touch pretentious, I must say, he kills her.. but it gave me pause and was written well.
| Sassy Lil Scorpio chapter 5 . 7/28/2007
Chapter 5: I missed the intermezzo in this. This opening with Ororo standing on a balcony overlooking Paris gives me the impression that she’s come to terms with what she’s doing and isn’t going to stop giving into lusty desires.
What was this violent confrontation with Logan about? Was it when he found for certain she was cheating and they had a physical fight? I’ll have to read further.
Woah! He stabbed her? And her lover? *SLS asks in a whiny voice now* Tiara, why didn’t you show this? Oh man, it must’ve been intense!
-True love died the day she decided to sleep with a man who wasn’t Logan—
I like this line a lot. It’s like Ororo knows the emotional ramifications of cheating on Logan. She knows she will never find another like him and will never be able to give of herself entirely to another man. She knows it’s just about instant gratification and nothing more, but she also seems strangely satisfied with this.
I really like the moment between The Other Man and Ororo regarding the panties. It’s such dirty pleasure to read it. Great exchange, very forbidden and sexy. (BTW: I like how you mentioned Trent Reznor’s song—it fits the fic perfectly.)
The entire paragraph that starts off: “There was no need for her seriousness…” is beautifully written. I keep thinking that Ororo’s affair was a way of her removing herself from the Storm that everyone sees and expects her to be.
I was wondering if he stabbed her with her claws and this was confirmed later on in the chapter. Sick! I like the way you wrote their conflict, her being as violent as lightning. You described it so well; it was very poetic, but also very sad.
-She resorted to the survival tactics that kept her alive on the streets when she was younger, relying on herself to keep herself going.- This line was great—it really gives insight into how experiences from childhood can still play a huge role in adulthood.
-I already know your name. It’s trouble.’—Great line!
Wow, Logan followed her all the way to France. Just like in “Odalisque”, he follows her all the way to Spain. I’m confused as to who this stranger was that she was sleeping with in her room. Logan says that him and The Other Man put it behind them to heal, but now? Wasn’t TOM in the other room with her yanking at her panties? Or is it a new man? This wasn’t clear to me. I’m under the impression that TOM made up with Logan in his face, but behind his back continued to sleep with Ororo
Logan’s last line is painful and heartfelt. But…he kills her in the end? That’s how I read the last part. Or if not killed her physically, he killed her spirit? It’s interesting because while I think he still hurts, I also am under the impression that Logan felt: “if I can’t have you, then no one else can” –as in that he’ll love only her, but in the same way, he can’t let her leave just like that. And Ororo, in the end, has some regret for what she’s done. She put herself out there in the end, telling him that he could call her names and do whatever else he had to do to move on. So in that respect, I think Ororo feels tremendous guilt, although she didn’t stop herself from sleeping with another man and betraying Logan.
I know I said in past reviews that Ororo bugged me, but that was usually when I was reading from Logan’s view. You did a great job in showing us how he perceives Ororo’s actions, so that it was easy to feel for him when he’s hurting. You could see things from his perspective and you could also see things from her perspective. Maybe it’s weird, but I felt more bad for Ororo in this entire fic, more than I hated her. Don’t get me wrong, there were moments where I wanted to shake her and tell her to listen to her rationale side and not her emotions or lust.
At the same time, I also felt I understood her too. I understood that she was sick of being The One And Everything to the X-Men and just wanted to do something that was so far removed from what people expect her to be. At the same time, I felt for Logan too, because he truly loved her. His immense reaction to her betrayal shows how much he really did love and care about her. It reminds me of Beatrix and Bill in a sense. If you don’t care for someone that much, when they walk out and fool around with another, it won’t mean much to you. But if you really love the person and you find that they’re toying with your head and messing around your back-yes, you’re going to respond, and mostly based on your emotions and not your rationale. Been there, done that.
You did a wonderful job in this fic, Tiara. I have to admit that I was so looking forward to finding out who The Other Man was. I’m disappointed in not finding who it is, but that’s my bias because I was hoping it’d be Scott Summers. I was really searching for clues such as ruby quartz or whatever that is SS related. Part of the reason is because of how much ScoRo bugs you so I like to joke with you about it, but the other part is I wonder if Scott ever felt as Ororo did in this story. What if he got sick and tired of living a life for others to see, but deep down inside was doing things that would repulse everyone—and despite the initial rejection—would he feel free?
So, yes, I wonder who it was, and I wish it were Scott, but I can live with the fact that you decided to focus on the broken relationship and not The Other Man. If anything, if you ever feel inspired to write more on this story, you can write it from The Other Man’s POV and in the end reveal who it is (just like you did in Game Over). Wonderful work all around. Keep writing, Tiara! You are very talented! :)
| Sassy Lil Scorpio chapter 4 . 7/18/2007
I really like the Intermezzo in Chapter 4. I read it twice and allowed it to sink in. You really have a gift of words. I especially liked “friction of hips” and “uttered lies in the highest moments of passion”. You show the twisted relationship between Ororo and The Other Man wonderfully in the intermezzo. It sounds like they are both using each other, but that they enjoy it. Interesting how they can enjoy what they have even if it’s not meant to be.
“What are ya doin’?” “You, of course!” That’s great dialogue. It’s nice to see a tender moment between Logan and Ororo, but why do I have a feeling that it’s all a farce? As if she’s teasing him to take his mind off what he thinks is happening (or not happening) between them.
Oh…this was just a dream. A great dream sequence too. I thought this scene was really happening. I like how you handled it. You didn’t set it off in italics to draw attention to it. It read like actual real-time narrative and not a dream or a flashback. I may take that as inspiration for my own fic. In the end, it’s a nightmare because his insecurity, anger, and hurt comes alive when he asks her about who’s she screwing behind his back. The detail about “blood in the eye” was great. I thought of the phrase “seeing red” from being angry, but blood is really effective. It’s not just any red, he’s seeing, but blood because he may kill Ororo and The Other Man.
Who is this Other Man? I’m dying to know. Why did Ororo go see him? They enjoy the game they play with each other. It’s obvious. I actually thought their flirting would lead them to “doing the do” right then and there…regardless of who might catch them. I guess Ororo has a little self-control or maybe I’m just reaching.
-She knew he’d thought the gesture—her giving him the journal—was an arrogant display of her infidelity. She hadn’t given it to him to rub it in his face. She’d given it to him because she was unable to voice the things that needed to be said, but her written words would always resound loudly where her own voice faltered. It was her confession, one that he needed to know, even if he didn’t understand it. She didn’t understand it herself.-
Passages like these that make me feel some sympathy for Ororo. She doesn’t seem to understand what’s going on within herself and can’t outwardly express what’s going on. I can see why she’d give him the journal as a way for him to read and find out what she can’t say outright. At the same time, I can also see it from Logan’s view—it can be viewed as you put it: “an arrogant display of her infidelity”. It’s a very daring thing to hand your husband/boyfriend your journal where you’ve written about your affair in detail. At the same time, I think Ororo does have a heart—if she’d rather be split away from Logan to help him save his insanity and keep his heart intact, then there’s some sympathy for her. She’s tortured for loving two men. There’s no excuse for what she’s doing, because it IS wrong, but I find her a sliver likeable because she’s conflicted about the whole thing. It’s one thing to be conflicted and still go in circles making bad choices and it’s quite another thing to carry on as who cares who I hurt, I’ll just keep doing it anyway. She sounds like a mixture of both. But then again, I haven’t finished the chapter or fic yet, so I might change my mind.
Okay, now Ororo is with The Other Man. This is twisted. She’s disrespecting Logan on so many levels, and yet, she still insists that she respects him in her own way. She doesn’t allow for The Other Man (TOM) to belittle Logan, and yet, by her own actions, she’s doing Logan wrong.
I really like the line about Logan not being a thinking man and allowing his emotions to guide him. It’s tough to manage one’s emotions and not allow them to manage you. I’m surprised like TOM is—that Logan hasn’t done anything to him yet. But I think it’s more because Logan doesn’t know who The Other Man is—if he knew, I’m sure he would’ve gone after him by now. Ah—okay! I was right on the money.
Wow. I have to say I like the way they got together. I like the way it was written with her sitting on his lap, the position they were in, the sexual tension that seemed to creep up on them. I like the moment TOM becomes upset because she makes it seem like the idea of loving him is far off. Maybe TOM is trying to get something out of his affair with Ororo—something that isn’t about hurting Logan. He also knows Logan is aware-that was a great touch. TOM doesn't seem too afraid or worried about Logan knowing...I wonder why that is. At the same time, I think TOM is playing on Ororo too. He’s getting sex with no strings attached. She’s not the only one who can play this game. Have you considered writing a fic from the TOM’s pov? It would be interesting to hear the same story from his side. Is TOM Forge? Bishop? Scott? Anyway, this is a wonderful fic. I find there are more grays than I realized. That’s true to real life—it’s easy to look at an affair and say everyone’s wrong and be black and white about it. It’s another thing to be involved in the affair and read the feelings of those involved. You do a great job showing everyone’s feelings—Ororo’s, Logan’s, and even TOMs –although his is brief. Great work! I can’t wait to read the next chapter.
| Sassy Lil Scorpio chapter 3 . 6/19/2007
Okay, so I had to get my fix of Spider today. Great work as always. This chapter came out really well. I was left wondering what else did Ororo write in her diary and maybe, just the tidbit I was given is more than enough.
Logan's struggle to contain his anger and hurt is very present in the chapter. Especially the part that reads he actually works with this person everyday and has been literally close enough to rip his balls out. It's like damn, who's being two-faced to Logan to be low enough to sneak around with his woman?
I'm not sure about this whole thing. In a way Ororo comes off as sympathetic. On the other hand, I can see how Logan would read into different things that Ororo is doing. For example, she says, "here you can read it all." It's like the line that says maybe that's the only way she can confess is for him to read her diary-maybe that is true on Ororo's end. On Logan's end though, it *does* come off as cocky as in "read about all the times I slept with another man behind your back." I don't blame Logan for feeling that way. As mentioned earlier, to know that the woman you love is silently playing you and possibly laughing behind your back-that hurt and betrayal is indescribable.
So now that Logan has solid proof that Ororo is cheating-even if she doesn't use the man's name-where does this leave the both of them? Where does it leave Ororo? Logan? The other man? And who *is* the other man? You know I want to say Scott, since he came to the door to see if she's okay, but maybe it's not him. Maybe it's...Victor Creed. I don't know, the possibilities are endless. You do a great job at keeping things a secret in your fic. I wish I could be good at doing that! :)
Now for some lighthearted comments...
-They’d gone to some high-priced restaurant where they gave you one shrimp on a cracker and some dribble that looked like diarrhea and charged you $200 bucks for it.- This line made me laugh out loud!
-He heard Scott call through the door in typical asswipe commander-in-chief mode.- Again, LOL! Last time I heard "asswipe" was on Beavis and Butthead. I love that word! Asswipe!
-Her face painted the darkest color of guilt.- Beautiful description, very poetic.
-...quickly followed with the sharp scent of dishonesty that tickled his nose, clinging to his nose like static.-
-That kinda stuff only works in movies, an’ darlin’, this ain’t no movie.-I know we've discussed how you feel about dialogue. Well, this is an awesome line of dialogue. Leave it to Logan to keep it real with Ororo, while she stays fake with him.
Overall, wonderful work. I love your descriptions...very creative. The dialogue is tense. I'm not sure now whether to feel bad for Ororo or not, because in Logan's view, it's like she's covering for this guy. I do feel badly for Logan because all he wants is the truth and now that he knows it...where does that leave him?
Awesome work and I'll be onto Chapter 4 shortly.
| Sassy Lil Scorpio chapter 2 . 6/16/2007
Chapter 2! Keep in mind that I’m reviewing as I’m reading. ;)
I love the description of the moonlight hiding from Ororo. For one who is usually one with the elements, this action shows that Ororo has offended nature itself.
So Ororo actually feels some guilt and shame for what’s going on? That makes her human after all. I feels *a little* sympathy for her. I can’t say I feel completely bad for her because she lied to Logan.
[Oh no…she slept with Logan to assuage her guilt? That’s so messed up, especially for Logan.]
I like “…petulant replies that dripped like acid.” She’s hot and cold with Logan, isn’t she? In an effort to hide her shame and shield the truth, she’s snappish with him. But it’s eating away at her on some level. But what level? That’s the question.
I sense guilt and shame from Ororo. She doesn’t want to lose Logan, but she wants to carry on this affair. It seems to me that she (to quote a cliche) wants to have her cake and eat it too. She doesn’t want to live without Logan, but she’s not so remorseful to the point where she’s willing to end the affair and deception. There’s also a trace of paranoia, or an awareness that she knows how she’s being viewed by others based on the “cool glares” and “scathing comments”.
This paragraph speaks volumes and I love the sentence that describes how it’d be a long time before those around her accepted her as “mortal.”
-Certain things were expected of her, and while she slowly—and at certain points in her life drastically—chiseled her true self out of marble, she knew that it would still be a long time before her friends really accepted that she was mortal. They knew she wasn’t perfect, that she’d made some unsound decisions, but they only associated this mortality with Storm the X-Woman, not Ororo Munroe the woman.-
-Sometimes, she wanted to disregard the rules, as well.- Don’t we all? Okay, now I’m seeing more about Ororo’s psyche, which is really good. When you’re held at such a high level, sometimes you just want to be human. You want to do the things that aren’t expected of you—things you wouldn’t even expect your own self to do. Sometimes those things are going against your morals, the standards you set for yourself, and your sense of right and wrong. It’s how you discover how far you can go and if you’re even willing to push yourself to that point. Sometimes you get sick of being The Standard, be it because you put yourself up there, or because others see you as The Standard. You want to be free of all that and screw others. It might be psychobabble, but I think there’s realness to it.
I love the RoLo pun! That’s so appropriate and it’s a nice gesture to RoLo fans.
See, this is what I don’t understand. If she has this great relationship with Logan, why would she throw it away for “the other”? (That’s a great way to keep the other’s man’s identity secret.) If she feels she can tell anything to Logan, if she learned what it is to love and sacrifice with Logan—why would she risk losing it all?
It’s because this other man gives her what she wants—she’s can be “free” with him in the way she wants to be. Is that it? I like the detail of him talking dirty to her, and then him making her repeat everything he said he’d do to her—profanity and all. It’s like she’s tearing down the walls that she wants to tear down for herself.
-What they shared was wicked; something not meant to be immortalized in love songs.- It makes one wonder what they share. I have to admit it sounds very…(how to say this without sounding corny) forbidden, wrong, lusty, and sexy. It’s wrong, but maybe Ororo gets off on the whole thing because this “other man” is the anti-thesis of Logan (or what people expect Logan to be and act like) and maybe Ororo feels she can be the opposite of what people expect her to be or what she expects of herself.
Wow. I just finished. Great writing, Tiara. This is an amazing story and you write it beautifully. I think I see where the B.F. Skinner psychology came into play. One could say Ororo was conditioned to be Storm and from there that’s what people expect of her, whether she’s on the battlefield for the team or having a moment alone in her greenhouse. If anything, this chapter goes hand-in-hand of our discussion with how people expect Ororo to be. People saying -OMG, Ororo would never do such a thing!- that’s the thought I had in my mind when I was reading the parts about Ororo wanting to just be human and not The Goddess that everyone makes her out to be. I feel mixed towards Ororo. At the same time, I like how you show that one’s actions doesn’t always match what a person feels on the inside. There’s a lot of truth to that. Excellent work and I look forward to reading more of your work. I’m reading it slowly so I could savor it! ;)
| Solarstone chapter 5 . 6/12/2007
I really cant deny that I felt a vicious sense of satisfaction near the end of this story. Is Logan killing her off his own "unique" way of moving from Ororo's memory? Intriguing.
| Nienna Rose chapter 5 . 6/7/2007
Well damn if you didn't finish this! The ending surprised the hell out of me but it worked so cool.
| Sassy Lil Scorpio chapter 1 . 6/5/2007
Finally, I’m reading and reviewing “The Spider and the Fly”! First off, I love the sentence that serves up as inspiration for the fic. It’s steamy, hot, sexy, and painful all at once. The opening quote of “Yer fuckin’ around, ain’t ya?” is perfect. It sets the stage for the story. It’s jolting, but I believe that’s the effect you’re going for, so it definitely works.
-He knew all to well the pain behind forgotten memories, but no matter what may or may not happen to him in the future, nothing would ever take away his love for her.-Something tells me this snippet right here is going to really be true for Logan in the story. You’re setting up the relationship really well in this beginning chapter—describing how much Logan loves her and how he adores the simple things about Ororo (such as the shirt with the Spanish quote). I like the detail of “wraparound legs” too.
The narrative leading up to Ororo’s first comment is brilliantly done. There’s anger and denial present, but also, Logan hoping that it’s not true—that maybe it’s just in his mind. When Ororo finally does talk—I want to slap her. I mean, if she really loves him, she’d say something other than, “Is this a conversation we really need to have right now?” That’s so cold. And the fact that she could twist his words to the point where he’s not sure about what he said—that’s scary. Maybe Ororo is a sociopath or a psychopath! ;) But on a serious note…it’s messed up, because here he is being real with her and here she is playing games.
“If she cared about him at all, she’d be honest with him.” Exactly!
There is so much that is great about this story. Your writing is fluid and beautiful, your sentence structure, word choice, the emotions amongst the characters...and yes, they are very different, and even I was shocked although we discussed it many times. But again, that's the beauty of fanfiction-to explore characters in different situations. You do a wonderful job at this.
Logan’s pleading with her is heartfelt. His actions and his words speak of a man who is truly hoping that the woman he loves hasn’t betrayed him in the worst way. You do a great job in describing body language, showing how the look in Ororo’s eyes or the way she stands can betray her true feelings. The dialogue between them is on point. I can hear Logan’s voice and the way he talks quickly which is a good contrast for how Ororo is so fancy and calm in speech. The spider and the fly reference in the end is perfect, since it’s the title of your story. It seems I’m the fly now and you’re the spider that led me into this well-written web of love, deceit, and betrayal. Ack! That didn’t come out right, but what I really want to say is I’m very impressed with the story and I’m glad I waited. I know I’m going to enjoy this. Keep writing, Tiara!
| Sparkle chapter 5 . 6/4/2007
Once again, very nice. Don't know whether I saw that coming or not, but it doesn't matter. I forgot to mention this in my other review on the Realm because I'm always leaving out something. That last line was just so matter-of-fact. It was so cold, so hard like their relationship. No more rambling.