Reviews for Cognitive Dissonance
Guest chapter 13 . 8/19/2013
What the hell happened to them?
honoradele chapter 13 . 8/10/2013
Standard Claim: Please, can I have some more?

I know that any series needs some noodle incidents, but I would really like to know more about this one.
honoradele chapter 12 . 8/10/2013
Standard claim: Please, can I have some more?

Could you/Are you going to ever publish those deleted scenes mentioned at the start of this chapter? For that matter do you have any plans any of the "missing" S4 episodes into the BEverse, perhaps Warhok and or warmonga?
Mimico Florido chapter 8 . 8/1/2013
"Medianoche Sombra" doesn't mean what I think it was supposed to, "Sombra de la Medianoche" would make more sense. "Sombra de Medianoche" perhaps, but not "Medianoche Sombra". I wonder if it still would be a good name if it were so long, the sonority is not as cool as it should be, I mean, it is a really good name in English (and Portuguese, but that's not relevant). I kept repeating "Sombra de la Medianoche" aloud, and now that I repeated it enough, sounds good.

I didn't get the German part, looks like there is something missing...
smileyGGfan chapter 14 . 8/4/2012
Another well-written and fast-paced story! That was a very interesting cliffhanger, and I'm excited to read the next installment of your BE series!
Akiho Tonoshi chapter 14 . 4/9/2012
you bastered you killed kenny... i mean shego! rtfl.

thats such a horrible ending! but i know shego live so its not so bad. still horrible! lol

well besides the ending it was a great story .
Mengsk chapter 14 . 10/23/2010
Good evil plan. Great counter plan and I especially enjoyed the mission clock. This all felt like a real police operation. I will note that under the circumstance GJ would likely have the legal right to comandeer any device they need making Shego's theft legal but otherwise everything went off without a hitch.

Writing wise anyway. Some may disagree about the without a hitch part with Shego having been shot. I think one casulty, wounded, not fatal, when facing terrorists who managed to take control of the Top cops in the land's headquaters, is acceptable losses.

Clearly a middle of the road film. I wonder what life was like before Empire and stories actually had endings. Only kidding, well done. Delete Chapter 13.
Mengsk chapter 13 . 10/23/2010
An experiment, huh? Ok then.

FAIL!

It was not in keeping with the tone of the story you've already established. It had nothing to do with the massive plot devive you had already had going. Nothing what was going on was comprehendable - this entire set of dialogue between Kim, Ron and Shego lacked any sort of clarity. If you deleted this chapter tomorrow it would have no bearing on the story as a whole. In fact, go on. Delete it. Please.
Mengsk chapter 12 . 10/23/2010
I do hope some of these deleted details were added to later chapters. A funeral for Rufus is vital. He was a main character, you cannot cut him out with no explanation and expect the audience would not notice.

Really? GJ infultrated. Nice evil plan. It is. I just - no one ever lets them handle things themselves, you know? Kim always has to save them. Rare for them to even seem competant.

I do give you bonus points for making use of an old Drakken device. Some may think it unoriginal. I always thought it would be amazing what you could do if you snuck onto his island lair and found the remains of all his failed plots. Many of them had potential with no reason why they could not be reopened the day after Kim destroyed the prototype.

I considered this the first time you brought up Shego being Jewish. Why add this detail I wondered. Writers don't add details on a whim. They always have reason. It would link Shego to Ron and give them something in common but Ron only ever makes cameos few and far between. So within the context of the story it seemed totally unecessary and irrelevant.

That makes it personal. Shego is Jewish for personal reasons. So a certain author can identify with her perhaps?

...

I did happened to see recently an ironic story about a lost children couple in Poland. They had both met as Neo-Nazis. Awkward.
Mengsk chapter 9 . 10/22/2010
Hell yeah I'd take the peeing standing up! Do you know how handy that is?
Mengsk chapter 8 . 10/22/2010
More expansion of the life of Shego. You have thought out some good backstory for her.

You're method of dialogue, the Jane Austen method if I remember, is not effective for more than two people. I was capable of following events when the four girls were sitting around a booth because I knew them and their personalities. Here it was OC characters in an action scene being played out through dialogue - there were several lines near the end which were a complete write off. I had no idea who was speaking them or why. It sounded like the kidnappers were having a conversation or maybe Shego was planning to extort more money from the parents.

For action you have to make clear who said what, why, and what actions they were making at the time. Shego said,"-," as she flipped over a kidnapper and chopped the back of his neck.
Mengsk chapter 7 . 10/22/2010
Funny. I always pictured Kim as the dominate one somehow. She is the better fighter.

Kim Miss Family Christmas! No, I guess I'll give you that. She has wanted this badly for, well, since the last fic.
Mengsk chapter 6 . 10/22/2010
Well now you're just blantently messing around with the characteristics of Kim to better suit your story rather than building a story around the character of Kim.

You're trying to stuff a square Kim into a triangle box with the biggest hammer you have and it - actually it comes off alright but anyone who knows the show still knows its fake. Kim was portrayed as the greatest overachiever, to the point of fanatical about being the best, the world has ever known. For her to be failing at University, even with Shego as a distraction, is warping her character to an unrecognisable point. You would have been better served having Bonnie work so hard to beat Kim, still fall behind and let the fireworks fly.

And if Shego were that good at stealth she would never have lost any match against Kim. Because there would never be a need to fight her. There is no need to fight anyone so headstrong and predictable. They are their own worst enemy.
Mengsk chapter 4 . 10/22/2010
I'll take a wild guess and say the webcam incident was another fiction I'll have to dig out. Oh... I just figured out what the incident might be.

I get that Bonnie could change since high school. University is a vastly different world and yet not even a pretense of still disliking Ron?
Mengsk chapter 3 . 10/22/2010
Laughing at Kim's messed up love life and being suspicious of her arch enemies friends does not make Bonnie a 'phob'. Never did Bonnie make her position clear other than an approximation of, "I hate you." But I think it is safe to assume you meant this to be read as Bonnie is phob. I wonder how that plays out in the coming chapters.

It was a fair piece of engineering a situation to bring up a social consideration. Is it a subject you feel strongly on?

Maybe a tad awkward. Meeting the LLs is not a magic wand to change Bonnies opinion. I know how stubborn those against such relationships are. I mean I KNOW people who would never be swayed by such a 'Disney' method of burying differances. Not unless they got to bring a rifle to the meet and greet.

Moreover I wonder how the LLs feel about being used as a example to peoples 'phob' friends. Some people hate being used like that. An exhibit. Of course others would throw themselves at the 'phobs' playing Best Friends Forever until the phob'd be scared off.
141 | Page 1 2 3 4 .. Last Next »