|Reviews for White Ceiling|
| Spamamdorf chapter 4 . 10/18/2015
I'm with Conflict on this one. I read this a while back and it was good fun and I appreciate that anyone at all is/was writing fiction for Ever17, however the one thing that struck me as strange was when you said Lieblich just dumped Tsugumi out of the lab one day. You literally have the key to immortality and just toss it away? I don't think so, they would have definitely kept her if they could, especially seeing as she straight out says the reason she didn't keep Sara and Hokuto with her was so they weren't taken by Lielich and that they were after her as well. None of that sounds like it's happening from a company who a few years ago decided to let loose an immortal who could still say whatever she wanted about what they had been doing to her just because they just didn't feel like keeping her. Besides that ending though I did enjoy the story the whole way through and it was done closely following what information you had available to you in the game, well done.
| AnonymousUnpaidWriter chapter 4 . 4/16/2015
Alright, I read this years ago and I remember enjoying it, yet I didn't leave a review. Please excuse my rudeness from like eight years ago. First off, thank you. There are so few fanfics for Ever 17 on this site, a truly amazing game that I feel everyone should experience. Thank you again for putting this up here. Now to get to my review. You did an excellent job at threading a story together from the very small pieces of Tsugumi's past we're given. The slightly romantic relationship she had with the boy with amnesia makes perfect sense, and the slight awkwardness of it fits given their ages. We never really did learn much about that boy from her past, and by turning him into someone she clearly loved, the loss of him has a greater impact for her. This adds to the depths of what was already a well-written character, and if one took this as canon, it would add an extra layer to Tsgumi's relationship with Takeshi. Speaking of Tsugumi, you did a good job of writing her here. From the confusion she feels when she first wakes up, to the cheerful , innocent girl she begins the story as, all the way to the bitter and lonely woman she would eventually become. Her explosion at the researchers when she believes they've killed her hamster is wonderful to see unleashed, seeing as these are the people who've been tormenting her for half of her life and they deserve a couple hits to the face. Seeing as it's been quite a few years since you've written this, I doubt you'll write a story from her perspective during Takeshi's scenario, and I suppose that makes sense. This way it feels as if the reader has been armed with a significant amount of information for when they play the game (which I hope everyone who reads this will) and can view Tsugumi's character through a slightly different lens. Now you don't appear to be active on fanfiction anymore, so I doubt you'll even see this overly long review of mine, but I wish you well in all you do and I hope you've managed to find a way to keep writing. Well done!
| Conflict1192 chapter 4 . 2/2/2015
Pretty good fanfic. You characterized Tsugumi well. Development was excellent. There are two things that bug me. First, the second tragedy wasn't so tragic. When her hamster got killed her flew into rage and passed out after her struggle. When she came about he was alive. Not so tragic experience. Second, why did Lieblich release her? Had she already fulfilled her purpose? If so, why did they go back to LEMU to take her back in 2017? My idea about Tsugumi would have been that three years before coming to LEMU she was able to somehow escape Leibhich and had been on the run ever since. Apart from these two, it was a blast.
| athelas chapter 4 . 7/27/2008
This is fantastic!
| Suzie chapter 4 . 5/1/2008
PLEASE PLEASE WRITE A STORY FOR THE TSUGUMI/TAKESHI GOOD END! PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU! PLEASE!
| Suzie chapter 4 . 3/14/2008
You should right a story about the Tsugumi/Takeshi good ending! It'd be great!
| 1347039 chapter 4 . 11/8/2007
I'm a man, so I'll pass on mothering your children. I'll do the next best thing: give you a review!
I loved your story. And I'm glad you didn't finish with Tsugumi's "Good" End - after I got that ending, I had to put Ever17 aside for a week :S
A, would read again!
| Tiger5913 chapter 4 . 8/3/2007
Oh... dear Tsugumi... poor girl... :( She really feels abandoned and desolate... I really don't like seeing her in that kind of state, but until she pulls out that stick out of the boy's ass, she will not get a satisfactory feeling or closure. He needs to explain himself this instant... but I get the feeling he will be separated from Tsugumi against his desire. All these two wanted was to be together and share their thoughts and feelings, and comfort each other to ease their pain... It sickens me to think of the people in the hospital taking that away from them. What a horrible way to end innocence (and they say mental rape can be as effective as physical rape). And allowing their specimens to die as well... ARGH! Those cretins remind me of Busuzima, back when he was experimenting on people that had no idea what was going on, like Stephen, Uriko, Kenji, Alice... . (Haha, aren't I a weird one, bringing another game and fandom over here! But then again, you know and understand my obsession with Bloody Roar, thankfully. _) What...? The kid died? Damn, I knew that would happen! But why? His heart just stopped for no reason? Or let me guess... they were conducting some kind of experiment on him and happened to jab his body with drugs that he wasn't able to handle... Fucking assholes! They found another way to pierce Tsugumi where it really hurts her! Five years of bitter, detested loneliness... My goodness, how did she find the will to continue living? Oh boy, I see... she can't die because of that virus in her body. Damn... just another way to continue her life in solitude, because even if Tsugumi falls in love with someone, unless he has the same virus, he will die and leave her behind. AUGH! And then that stupid researcher had to kill her last friend and right before her eyes! The assholes are doing their best to make her life miserable, I can tell that by their methods. Maybe they are trying to bully her into submission in order to conduct their tests with minimal disruptions. But yay! She fought back! Oh gosh... they hurt her badly. Sheesh, what the hell did they inject her with to bring her down that fast? Animal tranquilizer or something? My goodness, I can't believe those grown men would actually attack a teenage girl. She might have some special power within her, but damn it, she is still just a teenage girl... She can't make their heads explode simply by thinking it or anything like that. Chami lives? Whoot! He inherited her ability to heal wounds... She must be really happy about that, hehe. Wow, and I didn't see that coming... Tsugumi is being let go? I can't believe it. Damn, if only she had fought back all those years ago, then maybe she would have been able to salvage some of her precious childhood... Oh man, it's a real shame the kid didn't know that he could inherit her ability the way Chami did; the kid could have bit her neck in the midst of passion or something, and then drank a little bit of her blood and become immortal so he could live forever and stay with Tsugumi like they always wanted! . Eh, but then again, I suppose she was destined to be with the main character from Ever 17... And uh, dude, I totally was okay with the fact that Tsugumi snapped and beat the crap out of that guy. My only complaint is that she didn't do it often enough. :P Great story, my friend! You gave so much insight into this girl's mind and created a very realistic backstory for her. I'm sure the fans of Ever 17 will enjoy this story as much as I have, or even moreso, because they have a better grip of the entire plot and all. :) Thanks for bringing us this story, and I hope that this won't be your last!
| Tiger5913 chapter 3 . 8/3/2007
Yikes, exactly how many years was she stuck in that horrid rat-cage place? I didn't know it was legal to do something like keeping a person within a hospital against her will. I mean, unless she was a POW, which she isn't; and it isn't like her ability is dangerous or anything. It's quite sad to think that people would try to exploit a good ability to work it to their advantage. If Tsugumi had given her consent to be studied, then that is fine, but she was lied to and kept in the hospital as a prisoner. So much for free will... . Haha, I wish she could have a destructive power, even if it's just a small one, so that she could use it against those hospital guys and knock them out; then she could have her freedom and finally live her life. Lies... she figured it out. Quite sad, I'm sure, as she was disillusioned to believe she was sick at first, and then she realized that they won't let her go. / Heh, you of all people probably know why I feel so bad for her, a sweet young girl trapped in an isolated place - a prison really - against her will. 0 Oh, and is it bad that I was totally rooting for Tsugumi to get with that boy in her room? I don't know his name since it has never been mentioned in the story or the game, I imagine, but he's so sweet. :) He really is the rock that supports her and lifts her chin back up when she sags down from being repressed. Aw... I was totally ecstatic when I saw them sharing that romantic little moment. _ Kinda disappointed in his reaction the next morning and the days follow that, but hell, aren't all guys like this? Always hiding their emotions and such, keeping us girls confused as we await a positive response... :P Shame on you all for playing such mind games, hehe. Oh damn, I really am wondering what the hell is wrong with the nameless kid... Why is he hurting her? I don't understand. Is his power like, premonitions of the future or something? How else would he know what's going to happen to them? I presume that he senses or knows that either he or Tsugumi will escape (or maybe even die?) so he doesn't want to get close to her just to break her heart in the end. Maybe that's it... Well, I'm gonna read the next part now and find out! Damn you for making me anticipate the ending... :)
| Tiger5913 chapter 2 . 7/13/2007
Yay, the story continues! About freaking time, man! Wow, you finally brought us chapter 2 after... *checks the date* ...one whole year. . Damn it, don't make us wait that long for chapter 3 or I'll be forced to hunt you down and chain your fingers to the keyboard! *evil laughter* Ooh, and the plot thickens... I really hope that the doctors' won't, like, hurt one of them as a severe punishment because those two kids have already gone exploring outside their confines twice and if they should get caught again... well... \ I just don't want anything bad to happen to them. Too bad neither of them has a special ability to shoot fireballs or something at the doctors so then they could be running the show instead. :D I hate that Tsugumi is being trapped like a rat for other people's sick amusement and experimentation. Ack, she reminds me of Uriko in AKS... :( Hopefully, both girls will be able to escape their predicament one day...
| flamming chapter 1 . 6/24/2007
As a player who has just finished the whole story fo EVER17, it's pretty nature for me to search the fiction stories of the infinite game. I was first suprised by the tiny little number of the stories that I can find(really a pitty),but in the next ,I was astonished to find the story wirrten in the aspect of Tsugumi,who is the my favorite character in the , it was a shock to me that the story was focused on the past of the the game,some flashbacks aloofly depicted the life before Tsugumi met as the words said by the author that "...felt that there was plenty of room for expansion and some room for a bit of creative freedom as well."
Well, it is! the infinity loop,not just extend into the future,but also infinity explanation could exist to interprete to color the memories.
Then, expect the following.
which btw,this is my first .
| Moriko-san15 chapter 1 . 2/20/2007
What a great story! You only hear a few things about Tsugumi's past in her story. The fic helps bridge the gaps and it is beautifully written. I must say, if I had to rate this story on a scale of 1 to 10, I would give it a 10!
Poor Tsugumi... I feel bad for her. No wonder she's cold...
| vwxyz chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
Hey Elias! _
It's Yuriel from the Hirameki BBS boards. _
I read the fanfic on the Hirameki site, but I'm so happy to see it here as well... I mean, its the only Ever17 fanfic on this site! _ But anyways, nice job!
| Tiger5913 chapter 1 . 6/7/2006
Whe, good piece, Andy! I'm glad that you're breaking this into separate parts, because the whole thing is really long. O.o I haven't played this game, but if this is what Tsugumi went through in her life, then I feel very bad for her. :( If I were her, I'd use my special powers for evil... XD