Reviews for Bloodline: Radiance
Guest chapter 11 . 4/13
Hi when is the update? The story is really good. Minor grammar lapses but the plotline is there. Im excited for the next update! Please keep it up
lou2003us chapter 11 . 2/5
I really want to see what happens next. Looking forward to the next chapter. Keep up the great work!
Guest chapter 11 . 1/16
Really good you should make more
BlazerBug chapter 1 . 1/7
i like how half of the comments on this story have no imagination, like yes hello of course we know what happened in cannon, welcome to where guess what, YOU MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN STORY, Your story doesnt have to have anythinf to deal with canon if you didnt want you to
Spidey2 chapter 11 . 12/20/2017
Love this! Keep going!
Guest chapter 11 . 9/28/2017
It IS common, with weak minded individuals, more often then NOT though they tend to visit that abuse on others (thus forming all those "dark" naruto fics.. because lets face it, that IS what would happen). Naruto kinda has a will forged of something harder then steel... The type of person that WILL keep hitting something until it falls, regardless if it takes DECADES! It's a specific type of person that you CANNOT win against, because they will CONTINUE no matter what... You can't: bribe, bully, blackmail, sweet-talk, threaten, terrorize, or coerce people like that. THEY ARE NIGHTMARES on the battlefield, or in politics because they WILL NOT QUIT or back down... This doesn't really strike me as a "weak willed" person, so I see him HITTING BACK! Naruto's entire life IS child abuse... But its also one of the reasons there are SO MANY dark fics.. because honestly, NOBODY would take that kinda crap... serial killers have been born from a LOT less. Let's face it, other then all the high-handed talk, the leaf is REALLY good at one thing, it produces MONSTERS! (and strangely, or maybe not... they have ALL been during the third's reign... Orochi, Aio, obedito, danzo, nageto, itachi, kabuto, sasuke, naruto... ALL of them during HIS REIGN, I'd say he REALLY SUCKS at his job!) You realize that's almost A DOZEN names that are more then just "defectors" or problems, but MONSTERS for the whole world, FROM ONE VILLAGE! You realize a dozen hitlers came out of one place, that one spot would be on EVERYONE'S map with a big "X" and the words "NUKE HERE FIRST". The third just doesn't get INVOLVED enough, oh sure in a lot of these stories you turn around twice and there is an ANBU waiting to take naruto to a meeting... But IT'S NOT ENOUGH... A lot says he can't interfere without showing "preference".. it's not "preference" it's managing assets! Would he take more of an interest? OF COURSE... wouldn't you if you had an "ultimate weapon"?... Especially one that everyone seems to be determined to SET OFF in your house?... "preferential treatment"?.. ROFL.. I'd send them to the gallows for saying it, as "TREASON"... Bet NOBODY would shortly after... The main thing with the third, is THEY DON'T fear him, they don't respect him, they MIGHT love him, but love of the masses is a very fickle and mercurial thing, FEAR is SO MUCH BETTER! Why don't people break the law? FEAR OF PUNISHMENT, why doesn't every spouse cheat? FEAR of losing the one they have... WHY do people act good? FEAR of hell, why do we go to work when we really don't feel like it? FEAR of getting fired, Why do we get flu shots? FEAR of getting sick, Why are some afraid of heights? FEAR of falling... SEE? FEAR is good. I have no idea what the third is doing under BOTH terms (maybe he has Alzheimer's disease).. almost EVERYTHING he does in the series I have a problem with, he seems like a very schizophrenic leader (not that, that would really surprise me given: gai, anko, jirirya, tsunade, orochimaru, hiashi, obiteo, mizuki, danzo, kakashi.. they ALL seem to have a few screws either loose or MISSING all together). I am REALLY shocked the yammanka (the "supposed" psychiatrists of the village) are not a LOT richer! I wonder if the fire dyamo knows he let the lunatics run the asylum?
Guest chapter 10 . 9/28/2017
While I don't have a problem with hinata seducing naruto (quite the opposite really), they DO have to get together OTHER then for "chunin exams and other useless spectacles". Oh and NOT dress as a clown.. As for your OC?... "so kuro how does he fare against you."... "He could crush me like an insect, annihilate our clan WITH A THOUGHT... THIS WAS STUPID, I QUIT!".. and walks out of the room, the village and fire country! Never to be heard of again!
Guest chapter 10 . 9/28/2017
Kinda cracks me up, that these "supposed" "geniuses" and even "SHINOBI", (which by the way means shadows)... Need EVERYTHING explained to them, in minute detail... As they grow older, how exactly do they propose this trend is going to continue? As they age, OR even now considering they are a LOT older then the previous generation was when they graduated... They are SUPPOSED to figure things out for THEMSELVES... You know, actually THINK (which seems to be a REAL problem for the people of the leaf in general). Everything SHOULDN'T be explained to them, Let em' figure it out, if they can't? Well then, they're in the WRONG profession. Kinda the whole "ADAPT OR DIE"... seems better then a "bell test".. rofl!

Although even THAT starting point raises questions, SHOULDN'T the nins that PASS be kinda PAST being stupid? Yet, they clearly ARE! How does one BANISH stupidity and yet still keep people ALIVE? And what would that mean for the rest of the countries?... Konoha's i.q. rate (on the general populous) suddenly goes through the CEILING, they view EVERYONE else as brutish, thugs... I somehow don't think that will.. END WELL.

The leaf NEEDS to employ something I saw on an old star trek rerun... After a certain age, the people should be put to death, just ALL of them, it doesn't matter if your good, bad or anything.. You hit a certain amount of years... YOUR TOAST... The third dead, the council dead, danzo dead, orochi dead, hyuuga elders dead, hiashi dead... everybody dead that's a problem... See how that fixes everything? AND kakashi? really, TRULY, PRAYING that he dies in battle soon, or the village he's spent his life protecting, is gonna put him down like a dog!.. GRIM, dark... BUT it does solve a LOT of their problems. For those of you SHOCKED, maybe horrified by that solution, you should REALLY be asking yourselves, "WHY DON'T THEY JUST MOVE ON?"... and there is the crux of the narutoverse problem... There seems to be NO inherit "need" to evolve, adapt, change, but that's FUNDAMENTAL to humanity. It's inherent in EVERY human (from the shyest mouse to the biggest braggart)... We ALL evolve. Most authors seem to write konoha's residents without that, and that's odd, because again: "It's what makes us HUMAN". Even the "ultimate big bad".. the akutski.. their end game is "stasis"... Nothing changes, nobody grows, everything is EXACTLY how it is right now. That's not how humanity can function. It just doesn't work that way. (even their point is STUPID, their basic ideal FLAWED.. even if they won it would work for what? a decade or so?.. then begin shattering?) Like a lot of "plans".. danzo is like what 80-90? AT BEST he has ten years and then he's DEAD by natural causes... Kinda makes becoming hokage at his point retarded! Orochimaru wanting sasuke?... FOR WHAT THREE years? Then what?.. "OHH I HAD ALL THIS POWER AND NOW I've LOST it, and there are no more uchiha...sob sob"... SEE? Not a lot of planning... "I want revenge on my brother"... and then exactly what? If you've burned every bridge toward making a life?... How exactly is sasuke the "last uchiha".. his brother has been traveling the WORLD for YEARS at this point? So he NEVER GOT LUCKY? That's pretty stupid to think... There might be entire BROODS of uchiha... Obedito wants rin back?.. So just use the edo tensai and return her to life, there, no problems. SEE? all these "plans" kinda fall to pieces if you think about em'. I'm praying they're not that dumb or I'm not that smart, because if so then life is kinda dull.

Exactly why I HATE evil naruto stories... "I will take my vengeance"... Yep, usually does, AND THEN? I just mean do you seriously think ANYONE is going to let a being just "do what he wants" that can FLATTEN the most powerful village? Nobody seems to think of what's AFTER these "plans".. which is really odd, considering we're supposed to be authors.
Guest chapter 10 . 9/28/2017
Of course, makes PERFECT SENSE, we wanna keep naruto hidden, so we enter him into a contest WITH THE ENTIRE WORLD and A BIG, BRIGHT spotlight pointed at him! I don't know if that's incompetence, stupidity, or malicious intent.

Oh and naruto's entire body does NOT radiate power if he gets his butt kicked EVERY SINGLE FIGHT! He nearly died against garaa, as in the ONE-TAIL, even a kindergartner should KNOW that was a "walk-away" fight. and in THIS story so much more so.. Holy power vs. a weak demon? Naruto should have been able to SNEEZE in his direction and take him out! catch orochi on fire with a LOOK... Make kabuto become violently nauseous just being in the same ROOM with him. THAT is "RADIATING POWER". GODS radiate power, ANGLES radiate power, DEMONS radiate power, CELESTIALS of both good and evil RADIATE power, humans DO NOT!

Naruto watched the scene with a small smile, he found it entertaining. ... YEAH that seems to be MOST of the leaf's problems, they find it "entertaining" never mind that BOTH their attitudes WILL get the girls killed or worse, never mind that it's dragging the yammanaka name through the MUD and humiliating them ALL. (very hard to take a clan seriously when it's HERIESS is a fan-girl for a piece of TRASH)

Also why would the hyuuga OF ALL people dress hinata like that?.. AGAIN your NOT riding that "middle edge" very well, to DISPLAY her to ONE person is okay, but your making them throw ALL propriety and tradition(the very thing MOST authors make the hyuuga sticklers for) OUT THE WINDOW. (which AGAIN makes NO SENSE). MIDDLE EDGE, means "a little dark, a little light" maybe have hinata DITCH the coat... NOT dress her as a slut-clown! RED and BLACK clothing when she's PALE with white eyes and blue hair?.. She'd look ready for a carnival NOT seduction. (seriously, PICTURE this crap in your head first).

AND now an OC, because fans JUST LUV ocs.(NOT).. This is why there is NO POINT to the chunnin exams, it's a WASTE OF TIME. No other jinchuriki, no OCs and naruto gets a pump up? HE CURB STOMPS everyone in the competition, It's over before it starts, there IS no competition and life GOES ON. There REALLY are only TWO things that happen during this fiasco that are important in ANY way, 1 sasuke gets the curse mark, which he PROBABLY would have submitted to willingly if he'd been told it grants power... and 2 the third dies. (only GOOD thing I can think orochi did in the entire series). The garaa fight? We've ALREADY DONE, the negji thing, we've ALREADY covered... SEE NO POINT? and it's NOT entertaining. MOVE ON.

The sannin, do NOT radiate power and THEY can actually win fights without getting beaten half-to-death, knocked out, passing out from chakra exhaustion directly afterward or getting sliced to pieces. SO NO, either TURN DOWN the "stupid speak" about naruto and his "supposed" power OR start making him CURB STOMP people! Because otherwise it's just annoying hyperbole. As the adage goes: "put up, or shut up".
Guest chapter 9 . 9/28/2017
Chunnin exams, WORTHLESS GARBAGE! Don't you think naruto has a LITTLE too much on his plate to worry about something so frivolous as this? I think it's hilarious that the NEXT one also gets canceled and so the elemental nations just say SCREW IT and cancel them ALL till after the war! Pointless waste of time IMHO. NOBODY has TIME enough to take off like 2 1/2 months for this stupid thing! And again, like I have said before, there is NO WAY irukia or mizuki went through these. (definitively not mizuki who got his butt kicked by an ACADEMY student) (that's just beyond humiliating.. I bet he was a FAVORITE in jail)

Besides, I don't think garaa and naruto, fuu, yugato, kirabi, han, sho should even be ALLOWED to enter... Kinda POINTLESS to have their "weapons of WAR" enter a stupid competition isn't it? As it would almost guarantee whatever village hosted it would be a disaster area. (so DECLARATION OF WAR) This is one of the (many) times the author wants to "eat his cake and have it too"... (even though those decisions are MUTUALLY exclusive) he wants to make jinchuriki hated but also the reason nobody attacks BUT still wants to treat them as normal shinobi... Um.. NO.. They either ARE or they ARE NOT, NOT BOTH. (I know, confuses everyone else too, I think that's why he just cancelled the exams off screen so he wouldn't have to deal with it anymore) Personally I'd cancel them until orochimaru's dead body was hanging from a tree! It's just TOO BIG a security risk. Most of the akutski problem happened, because they (ALL the villages) were too arrogant, too complacent! If they ALL acted like they were CONSTANTLY at war (which they kinda ARE), the akutski wouldn't have had a prayer. The leaf has made ENTIRELY too many monsters to think they are EVER REALLY safe!
Guest chapter 9 . 9/27/2017
One question, I have ALWAYS had, since the CANON naruto, how in the HECK is he so stupid around girls when he MADE the "sexy jutsu"?.. Wouldn't that have kinda NECESSITATED knowing them, being around them EXTENSIVELY? I mean even the pervy-frog couldn't do it! (ALTHOUGH, he probably would have never left his hotel room if he could, just bought a LOT of mirrors) Seriously, fanfic authors NEED to pick up on this stuff...Because the canon author was either asleep at the wheel (like a lot of it) or was just too stupid to realize anything was wrong.

Seriously, you've never SCRATCHED your head and went.. "well that's a completely stupid idea"... when watching the series?... It's not genius.. it's him hopping from idea to idea like a cocaine fueled squirrel. Doing ANYTHING to keep the series going (and the paychecks coming). Heck MOST of the time I've caught the series in it's OWN lies.. where the writer didn't look back on what's ALREADY written. EX. If obedito didn't die from a boulder, why didn't his "best friends and teammates" stick around to get him? Why does sasuke, whine and moan about his lost "family" when he can BRING THEM BACK? Why does nageto whine about his dead friend when his eyes could have brought him back YEARS AGO?... Same with obedito and rin... Either have nageto bring her back OR use the edo tensai... (he even has OPTIONS)... Why didn't naruto use it to bring back kushina?... Why didn't the death god say "screw you all" and BAN the jutsu's use?... Why didn't the first and second BREAK FREE when they were first summoned during the chunnin exams? (it's WAS the seconds' technique after all)... Why did the third throw the kunai at the third coffin? (he should have KNOWN minato wouldn't rise, he's the professor and it's a VILLAGE technique), and IT ONLY GETS WORSE FROM THERE!
Guest chapter 9 . 9/27/2017
Sigh, naruto's apartment isn't a "dump" it's NOT rundown, it's NOT broken into constantly, it's NOT full of third-world items, it DOES have a balcony (which should kinda tell ya it's upscale).. It's NOT in the slums... It's SMALL, like maybe 2 1/2 rooms period... It's cluttered (he's a young boy and nobody is minding him).. It DOES have working electricity and hot/cold running water... The higherups (danzo) want him isolated NOT psychopathic! and the third FOR all his screw ups IS STILL, the grand-high-end-all-be-all in their village, if he says "do it", you do or you die. (it doesn't really MATTER what your feelings are). Again, most authors can't thread that needle. (they make his life hell, in which case he'd just LASH OUT AND BLOW EVERYTHING TO HELL, or they make his life paradise and he'd have no REASON to get stronger(although I guess in this one he kinda DOES))... Free will again, that's what naruto HAS (and a LOT of will) and it drives the people that want to USE him UP THE WALL! What they SHOULD be doing (considering their as old as dirt and have been doing this forever).. is "befriending him".. His one chink in the armor is he is die hard loyal to his friends, he NEVER breaks his word with them... Right there is a weakness you could drive a TRUCK through! If danzo is as old and skilled as he is portrayed, why has no author taken ADVANTAGE of this? Want a VERY EASY example? Right off the top of my head.. to show how EASY THIS IS?

"Your sensei hasn't taught you ANYTHING naruto?"..danzo said in a concerned voice... "No, he always goes off with sasuke but he never shows me or sakura anything" Naruto said... "I am sure sarutobi just made a mistake when he assigned kakashi as your teacher, after all it's a well known fact he's a pervert and you hate perverts right?". danzo smiled as he said this... "yeah, but how did you know?".. naruto questions... "that's easy, it's known you protected the hyuuga girl and that pink one... that kind of thing DOES circulate after all.. How about this?.. How about I TRAIN you for a while, believe me, I can teach you all kinds of jutsu!"... "REALLY?" Naruto said excitedly, "REALLY AND TRULY?"... "yes naruto I will teach you as much as you want, BUT you must PROMISE to do exactly what I say when I say it okay?"... "YEP, I SWEAR IT ON MY NINDO"... Talk about taking candy from a baby! HE CAN'T BREAK HIS WORD! ROFL... I am SHOCKED other authors haven't JUMPED ALL OVER THIS IDEA. and that's just the easiest I could come up with!
Guest chapter 9 . 9/27/2017
Not how rin died, she died with Kakashi RAMMING a chidori through her heart (seems like he does that a lot) obiteo isn't dead at all... He's plotting to kill the entire leaf to kill naruto so he can put the entire world into a permanent COMA! So really what's he got to complain about? Seems like the author of his misery, is HIMSELF! Choices, they all have consequences. Free WILL, it's a pest ain't it?
(kinda ironic actually that kakashi didn't ram a chidori though obiteo's chest back then and save them all a LOT of headache). (since he seems to enjoy plunging chidoris through people). (would have saved his sensei's life at least, I would have went for the HEAD though, destroyed those eyes and what passes for a brain in an uchiha's skull).
Guest chapter 9 . 9/27/2017
"you want to justify the way..."... um NO! there is NO justification for STUPIDITY! Especially at his age/rank and how long he's been doing missions, he SHOULD be a LOT smarter then this. I say let kyuubi come out, in a lot of these fic, let her come out BEAT THEM ALL INTO the hospital, smrik and say "see told ya, without me, you'd all me be in the morgue and crying over the crater that USED to be our village, SEE what your blatant STUPIDITY BOUGHT?". and while whistling a cheery tune walk out of their rooms! KINDA PUTS IN PERSPECTIVE if their(the villagers and kakashi) are REMINDED there is really NOTHING at ALL they can do against it!(and naruto is the only thing keeping them ALIVE)!
Guest chapter 9 . 9/27/2017
"it was as if the kyuubi was mocking him...etc...etc..".. Exactly WHEN in all it's recorded history has the kyuubi EVER been known to shapeshift? WHY WOULD IT? Talk about cowardly paranoia? "the kyuubi took his form", "the kyuubi bewitched him/her", do you know if the kyuubi had HALF the powers that are described to it, the village wouldn't have stood a prayer regardless of the fourth's sacrifice. It's so TOTALLY LUDICROUS. "The kyuubi is coming for revenge"... I particularly LOVE that one, because I have SEEN fics where naruto wants VENGEANCE, nobody gets the chance to say that, because usually they're bleeding out, reduced to ashes or don't have a lower jaw or tongue to form the words! Kakashi in this fic seems to think the kyuubi would be "subtle", what in ANY FORM does ANYTHING say about the kyuubi being SUBTLE? It's a NATURAL DISASTER, destruction incarnate, what POSSIBLE reason does it have to be subtle? It can WRECK a human mind with a LOOK, it doesn't PLAY games.(at least not with NORMAL people) kinda that whole biblical thing "Look upon me and DESPAIR". Again, NOT EARNING any sympathy here.
2,201 | Page 1 2 3 4 11 .. Last Next »