Reviews for Sayoko's Puppet
Stelaris chapter 1 . 10/25/2008
What a cute story! I just got started reading Ayatsuri Sakon, and this just doubled my interest in the series. You write well, Japanese included.

Literal translations:

Sakon: left soul

Ukon: right soul
AJW1893 chapter 1 . 5/6/2007
Arigato only means thanks domo arigato means thank you and arigato desa i mashita means thank you very much (not sure if i spealt the arigato desa i mashita right)
Evil Riggs chapter 1 . 4/29/2007
I know that it's the whole point, but the heavy use of selected Japanese is a bit off-putting. A word or two here and there is fine, but this squeaks past the limit, I think.

Otherwise: Decent stuff. Good luck on future endeavors!
shokokchan chapter 1 . 4/21/2007
My I really liked this story, oh is there going to be more? Heh I like Ukon hes so adorable yet braggy. That was a great present for her! I would have given her a real kittie just because I like em. Great story hope you write another one! -
DeathMaze chapter 1 . 4/9/2007
oh, dear, I WANT to see this series... Ukon is so great! _ I am really glad someone has written a fan fiction about it. I've just read the first manga, and seen none of the series, but the opening

Don't you mind about this f**er flamie, your story is good, actually, really good. _ fits with Sakon, and, even if I don't remember who sayoko is... well, no matter. I loved Ukon, as always, so, come on, why don't you write something else, and describe us something about the real trama? ** oh, dear, those murders, the blood, Ukon solving the mystery... xDD sorry... I just loved that from the mystery of the school on the manga xD you don't know for what I had to pass to get it! . :sniffle: I want to see the anime ;_; ((tears of blood spreading over the floor xD)) :P

let's kill flamie, I don't like him
Maki-chan chapter 1 . 4/8/2007
yoyo! ;; i'm back! um...well, won't allow two comments on a same chapter from one username. So, I'll just make another comment without logging on! it's a great idea, isn't it? MWUAHAHAHA! tensai, deshyou? genious, aren't I? LOL! i kid, i kid. anyway...i've just realized that I left out something...;; i also wanted to correct this part...

well, in your "replies" page, a fellow reviewer (by the name of NekoSHINEY) said

quote:

To be honest, I've never herd of this anime, but the way you write about it is very interesting! I love your work! But I believe konnichiwa means "Good morning". But then again, I'm not Japanese...

:endquote

iie. nope. Yemi Hikari-san was indeed correct.

konnichiwa means "hello" and "good morning" is ohayou.

bye bye, ne? .
Maki Kitozaki chapter 1 . 3/28/2007
it's great that you wrote definitions at the end of your fic. It would have been better if you made a few corrections.

o-ni should have really been spelled as "nii." and o-ji as "jii." The "o" at the beginning represents a greater degree of respect. This is must like using "-san, -sama, etc"

The funny thing is, even when "o-kaa" (or any other reference using "o," a "-san" or a "-sama" would be used. so when you said "o-kaa - mother," it should have been "kaa - mom" and "okaa-san - mother."

when you said "haha - mother," this was not completely incorrect. But you should have used "-ume" to follow "haha."

It would have been better if you mentioned the other terminology for "chichi," since you did so for "mother." That would be "otou-san." to put it simply, "tou."

Now, let's go back to the top of your list.

quote:

"sempai/kouhai - a reference in rank, sempai meaning that the person has a higher rank, wether in age, length at being a place, or position, ecetera."

:end quote

Okay. So it was mostly correct. But when you phrase it like this, the person may not understand what a "kouhai" is. it is great that you used a "/" to show that they are opposites, but at times like these, a person could easily mistake the two words separated by the "/" rather as synonyms. It is not a big deal, but you might want to consider informing your readers that "kouhai" means the opposite...as in lower rank.

Wow...I'm such a loser. ;; I'm sure you didn't bother reading this, but if you did...I hope it helped at least a little.

For reading my very long, long, explanation...

HONTOU NI ARIGATOU-GOZAIMASU!

In translation: Thank you very much!

hontou: very, really, truly

ni: a conjunction (it really only makes sense in with the japanese-style grammar...like korea!)

arigatou: thank you (you had that in your definitions! xD)

gozaimasu: an end-term

arigatou-gozaimasu: to thank

so if translated literally, it would mean:

to truly thank.

Hontou ni arigatou-gozaimasu!

I truly thank you, friend for reading!

Maki-chan!
kitsune chapter 1 . 3/11/2007
This was so CUTE! _ I loved it.
Number1Suethor chapter 1 . 1/13/2007
To be honest, I've never herd of this anime, but the way you write about it is very interesting! I love your work! But I believe konnichiwa means "Good morning". But then again, I'm not Japanese...
Arize chapter 1 . 12/6/2006
hi i love it why did you stop?
Evanescence Wannabe chapter 1 . 11/14/2006
Hi! This is gonna sound wierd, but I'm actually reviewing to ask a question about the show in general.

I've never heard of Ayatsuri Sakon (probably because I don't watch much Anime and I have no idea what Manga is). Is is a new show or something? Because all of the other shows seem to have, well...more than one story.

I loved how you wrote this (your story, I mean). If I knew more about the show it may have made more sense to me (don't ask me why I'm reading fanfics for a show I've never seen) of course, for all I know it could be Manga, which would mean...never mind...I'm really confused...

Good job! Keep up the good work (course, if it's a one-shot then you obviously won't still be working on this story)

Sorry, I like writing long reviews.

Do you write other stories? Because I really love your writing.

I'm done now. :)
The Tomohawk chapter 1 . 7/22/2006
bruce lee
volleyball freak chapter 1 . 7/13/2006
Hi I like the story but the problem is I have never seen this show before? So can you fill me in?

Singed,

Miss Volleyball freak
Stormtracer chapter 1 . 7/4/2006
Wow, that's odd. You like Ayatsuri Sakon AND Mary-Sue bashing; two interests not commonly seen together ;)

Anyway, to move unto your excellent story, it's...well, I've been craving Ayatsuri Sakon fanfic for quite awhile, even though I've only seen thirteen episodes so far. To say I was delighted at not only the in-characterness of Sayoko, Ukon and Sakon would be an understatement (you managed to capture the typical sort of banter I can see Sakon and Ukon using, and I really liked the idea of Sayoko wanting to become a puppeteer :D), the spelling and grammar (from what I can see) is great, and the plot fits. Only suggestion I can really offer would be to make the descriptions flow a bit better, to be honest ('As soon as the story began, he began to move Ukon as the children sat raptured.' instead of 'As soon as the story began, he began to move Ukon. The children were raptured.', which is the best example I can find offhand).

So, that's it. Nice to find someone else who writes 'Sue bashing fics, and congrats on keeping this critical reader interested
NurikoLuva chapter 1 . 6/28/2006
Very good fan fic. _ I've only watched the first thirteen episodes of Ayatsuri Sakon [because the place I watched them sat doesn't have the rest], you make them seem the same as in the anime. Great job!

N.L.
17 | Page 1 2 Next »