|Reviews for What If You Don't|
| Eva V chapter 14 . 9/29/2013
Okay, I hope I can put it the way I want:
This Story was by far the greatest I've ever read, and I'm not saying that just so.
The whole idea, the characters (especially Ian), the jokes! XD
I loved it all! And let me tell you this: You're my Idol now when it Comes to Story-writing!
I mean it! Great!
| Guest chapter 14 . 9/19/2013
| rose.tinted.lies chapter 14 . 7/16/2010
I really, really enjoyed this story.
Little Sammy is so adorable, and little Dean is so... poor little Dean :(
| CalamityJim chapter 14 . 7/5/2010
LOL. Only John would ground his kids for falling into the same trap he did. Great job with the story!
| Death-Muncher chapter 14 . 11/24/2009
This is such a good story. You've done such a good job with it. I remember reading it forever ago before it was completed and then I lost track of it or something (must of been before I had an account to keep track of story updates) and I rediscovered it today and finally found out how it ended. :D
Super good story.
| Marlowe97 chapter 14 . 8/26/2009
Another good fic. So scary even though not much 'happened' in the regular Winchester world - meaning no jumping, no running, no fighting furry critters... But you managed to capture the mind of a smart 12-year old really good.
Lots of fics make the kid too wise or too young, too scared and just a little too dumb.
With 12 you're smart enough to get the thing about stranger danger, you get all the guilty feeling and I'm pretty sure if you lived Deans live, you were even a little cockier than the regular kids.
Sammy was adorable and John was a prick.
I liked Ian. Not at first, of course, first I thought he wanted Sam and Dean for something eles entirely... bad man! But in the end he came across quite likable.
Did I mention John being a prick? Okay, just so we're clear ;-)
Thanks for the ride
| bhoney chapter 14 . 4/30/2009
“Dude, I know you’re Gadget Man and everything,” Dean said sceptically. “But no way is there a phone small enough to fit in there…!” Thanks for this! *wants to hug you* It drives me CRAZY when authors have cell phones and widespread, easily-accessed-from-home internet, and laptops with wireless, and all that other stuff when the boys were little, cuz it wasn't around then!
Glad you explained the phone thing (though I still think Dean should've tried to call Pastor Jim before leaving their rental with Ian). Yeah, I'm not buying the "mind control" excuse either, Dean. LOL
"Sam fairly threw himself against his chest, while Dean stood back a little, waiting patiently." Yep, Dean always makes sure Sammy gets taken care of first.
I found this a telling exchange, especially when you know that John suspects the truth: "Dad just looked at him for a second before nodding. “Not like you, son,” he said. “Maybe you’re not practicing hard enough.” Sam looked as if he was about to jump to Dean’s defence, but Dean just silenced him with another look. “I’ll have to work on that.”" And Dean so quickly takes the fall, to protect both his dad AND Sam.
This was cute: "“Why would he do that?” he demanded, brow furrowing in suspicious scepticism. Dean shrugged. “’Cause me and Sammy are just so freakin’ adorable.”" LOL I could totally hear Dean saying that.
Loved this little bit of Sammy comfort: "“He was already dead, right?” he said quietly, gently catching Dean’s fingers in his own."
And this made me smile. Great banter, and so like them to be able to joke about something that was so hard and scary. It's a coping mechanism they use often: "Sam shrugged. “He didn’t want what I wanted,” he replied. “I don’t think we’d have worked out.” Dean laughed at that. “Probably not,” he agreed, opening the door and ushering Sam inside. “He certainly didn’t seem the Thundercats type, anyway.”" Ah, the Thundercats. I used to love them. ;)
Dude! John grounded them? Holy cow, that's harsh! LOL I think they've been punished enough...and they did save your butt, Johnny boy! Have a heart! LOL
LOVED this image to end on: "He was brought back to reality by Sam’s head drooping against his shoulder, and he looked down at the little boy, whose eyes were already closing. Slipping his arm carefully around him, he glanced up into the rear view mirror, where he could see the relief in Dad’s tired eyes as he watched them thoughtfully. Home was where you made it. And for now, it was right here." Aw...*sniffle*
Great fic! Really original and suspenseful, great characterization, nice banter, lovely brotherly and family moments, very well-written. I LOVE the way you portray the brothers' bond, especially when they're younger. This is going on my favorites list! Well done!
| bhoney chapter 13 . 4/28/2009
Okay, I think this was my very favorite chapter of all. LOVED how you portrayed the boys' bond, their protectiveness of one another.
Aw, I had to love Sammy for this: "Dean was what Sam wanted most, after all." Aw...so sweet! *sniffles* *hugs Sammy*
Interesting that Sam saw his dad as an obstacle to having Dean all to himself. I have to wonder how much of that was Mr. Oliver's influence and how much was just Sam. Because I do think that Sam resented his dad's influence over Dean and Dean's idolizing (is that a word? sorry, it's late, lol) of their dad.
Okay, so on the padlock front, did Mr. Oliver send part of his essence or whatever to lock it after Ian, then? Nice nod, btw, to the end of Devil's Trap. Interesting how you twisted it around to be used against Sam this time, instead of Dean.
Aw...“But you get what I’m saying, right kiddo? What’s the point in Dean without Sammy, huh?” Very true. And so sweet.
I had to kinda laugh at this, tense as the moment was. It was such a classic Dean response: "“Dean, you have to trust me,” he said. Dean gulped. “I kinda have some issues with that,” he admitted, voice becoming increasingly more gravelly."
Loved the little details that just reinforced how strong their bond is: "Sam gritted his teeth, willing himself to calm down, to not look at the flames, to not feel Dean’s terror throbbing in his own chest." "Sam bit his lip, unconsciously mimicking one of Dean’s nervous habits."
Loved Dean encouraging Sam, helping him find the strength to take out Oliver: "You and me against every evil son of a bitch in the world, right? Come on, Sam, you can do it!”
"“Don’t go anywhere,” he pleaded. Dean grinned. “Not planning on it,” he replied. Then, as an afterthought, “You either, huh?” Sam held his gaze, completely serious. “Never,” he said. “Not ever. You and me against the world.”" Aw...LOVED the brotherly solidarity. (Really wish Sam had remembered this when it came time to leave for Stanford though.) Loved how you showed Sam's love and need for Dean, and his desire to protect him. Loved that Dean overcame his greatest fear because he wanted to protect Sam.
Okay, now Mr. Oliver's got no host, but he still exists out there somewhere, right? It would be cool if you did a sequel (maybe set in one of the early seasons) where he came back after the boys again...
| bhoney chapter 12 . 4/24/2009
"Despite the dire circumstances. Despite the fact that Sam was God-knows-where having God-knows-what done to him, Dean smiled. Because Dad was here. So everything was going to be alright." Dean's utter faith in his dad-even in such circumstances, and especially in light of last night's ep-is so heartbreaking. Definitely in character, but also heartbreaking. Loved John's faith in Dean, that he knew Dean would find him.
I was a little confused-if the padlock's on the outside of the door, how was Ian locked in with them, since he unlocked the padlock to get in?
I'm glad we finally found out the truth behind the "drowning" incident from Dean's past. I knew John wouldn't have tried to hurt him like that, but the confirmation was nice for us and Dean. Though the explanation was equally heartbreaking. Poor Dean: "Dean nodded carefully, suddenly feeling brittle, like he might break if he moved too quickly.” Great description.
And then this was a little heartbreaking too: "It was Sam who wanted all that stuff – Planet Normal. Not Dean. All Dean wanted was Dad and Sammy. That was enough for him. What did he need with a big house? What did he need with a – a…home? Home. Just the word made him hurt deep inside." *sniffle* Poor Dean. Great job of foreshadowing what he finally realizes about himself in S3, that he DOES want all of those things.
And you, surprisingly, actually got me liking Ian here. Interesting twist, that he was actually trying to protect Dean part of the time, like by the pool. He's not all bad. Hm...
"Dean shrugged. “Smart’s over-rated,” he declared. “If you look good and drive a cool car, you’ll do just fine.”" This cracked me up. I could so see this being Dean's philosophy in life. LOL
LOVED this: “No, you’re his strength. What Sam feels for you? What you feel for each other? Oliver knew he didn’t stand a chance against it...You’re Sam’s strength, remember? No way he’d let anything happen to you…”
Great job of explaining everything that's gone on, how Ian got John, why the urgent need for Sam now, etc. without it being boring or tedious. Good chapter!
| bhoney chapter 11 . 4/19/2009
Yeah, see-that cliffhanger right there? THAT'S why I only read completed fics. ;)
This made me smile. Such a Dean thing to say: “Bad penny’s my middle name, dude,” Dean returned, trying to disentangle himself from Ian’s grip. “Now let me see Sam…”
And this reaction was so telling: "Sam took an instinctive step backwards, so used to Dean being there that he almost expected his brother to step in front of him like he usually did if anything threatened them. But Dean wasn’t there".
So we begin to see that Ian may not be just an out-and-out bad guy after all. Hm...
| bhoney chapter 10 . 4/17/2009
Oh gosh, this was breaking my heart: “Dean may have stopped him hurting you,” Ian continued. “I’ve seen the way he protects you. He would never have let your Dad hurt you. He would have taken it on himself and made sure you didn’t know. I’ve seen it before in older siblings…” I can't believe he made Sam doubt their dad, think he was hurting Dean. That's just evil. Even if Sam does eventually find out the truth, this could still scar him.
Dean was cracking me up, with all his internal dialogue while waiting for the mall people to track down his uncle. LOL So snarky. Loved that he corrected the lady-it's Winchester like the gun, not the church. Of course. *snorts*
Ah, Sammy: "In all the times he’d dreamed of a life of ordinariness, of normality, all the times he’d wished for it, all the times he’d yearned for it, he’d never once imagined it without Dean." Wish he'd remembered that when he went away to school. *tries not to be bitter about the Stanford years* *fails*
LOVED this: "Sure, the house was cool: there was satellite TV and the latest video game console; and Uncle Ian had a home computer he’d promised to show Sam how to use. But it didn’t mean anything without Dean. What was the fun of the latest video game if you had no-one to play it with? And wasn’t the best part about watching fuzzy re-runs on those crappy motel TVs Dean’s constant running commentary – why Starsky’s car was way cooler than KITT; why Godzilla would totally kick King Kong’s ass; why Flash Gordon looked so much like Buck Rogers…He sighed, banging his head against the window as he wondered for the thousandth time when Dean would be coming home. Because no way would this ever be home without him." Aw...*sniffle*
LOVED that Dean made it back to Ian's. Bet he wasn't expecting that. It was really clever of him to get back without knowing anything about location, or even last name. Hah! Ian should've known he couldn't get rid of the World's Best Big Brother that easily. (Though I can't help but wish Dean had used his time at the mall to make a collect call to Pastor Jim...) I also wish Sam wasn't buying everything the guy's telling him, hook, line and sinker. He saw the guy use mind control, saw Dean nearly drown...does he really think Ian's just trying to help them?
| bhoney chapter 9 . 4/17/2009
Crap. This was a majorly evil chapter. Mind control...Sammy getting taken away...Dean not knowing where Ian lived to get him back...the security guard not helping Sam...
I liked this: "Ian straightened, suddenly intimidated by the feral look in Dean’s eye and the determined expression on his young face. Sam had grabbed hold of his brother’s arm for good measure, like a drowning man clinging to a life raft, and the two of them just stood there looking up at him, as if daring him to try and come between them." Nice image of the boys. And Ian should be intimidated, Dean's gonna kick his butt.
| bhoney chapter 8 . 4/17/2009
Aw..."But there was also a fourth thing Dean was sure of, and that was the best thing of all: Sam believed him. And that’s all that mattered." *sniffle*
Loved this exchange: “Well if it isn’t My Hero,” he said, tossing the kid his best grin. “What happened to your cape, dude?” “It’s in the closet, ready for the next time you need to use it,” he replied. LOL
Aw, sad image: "He beckoned Sam over to him, the kid shuffling across the room to stand in front of him, like some broken toy soldier just waiting for Dean to fix him."
I LOVE the way you portray the boys' relationship: "Sam gazed up at him like he was the Eighth Wonder of the World, and Dean almost crumpled under the pressure of a look so full of unshakeable trust and unquestioning faith." *sniffle*
"“I promise nothing bad’s gonna happen to you as long as I’m around.” That was the best he could do. Sam’s expression changed to one of resigned determination then, and he nodded slowly. “And I promise,” he said stoically. “That nothing bad’s gonna happen to you as long as I’m around.”" LOVE protective boys.
Also love the banter: "Dean couldn’t help smiling at that. “Jeez, Sammy,” he said. “You save a guy’s life just once… Talk about a Superhero Complex!” “As long as I get to be Superman,” Sam insisted. Dean frowned. “Who does that make me?” Sam smirked. “I’ll let you be Lois Lane if you’re really really good,” he said graciously." LOL
Very ominous that Ian nailed Dean's window shut. That doesn't bode well...
Loved this little bit of little bro comfort: "Dean was pretty sure he had stopped breathing by this point, suddenly acutely aware of Sam pressing against his side as he slipped his fingers into his big brother’s hand."
I was surprised, too, that Sam was so panicked at the idea of Ian leaving them at the mall. It sure didn't do Dean's confidence any good: "What, Sam didn’t think Dean could take care of him in a mall? Dean, who’d gotten Sam through covens, lairs, nests, you name it as long as it was dark and full of bad stuff – how hard could a mall be?" LOL
Nice bit of insight into Dean here: "Sam had been reading them for as long as he’d been able to read, and phrases that recurred most often usually went along the lines of, ‘not a follower’, ‘has difficulty following instructions’, or Dean’s personal favourite, ‘has little or no respect for authority’...Yet, and here was where that big word ‘contradiction’ came in, when it came to an order from their Dad, there was nothing on God’s green earth that would stop Dean obeying it to the letter." He is a complicated guy, and contradictory in a lot of ways. Nice job picking this one out.
Oh, crap. They got caught trying to escape. Would that be a WIP cliffie? LOL
| bhoney chapter 7 . 4/17/2009
Okay, so I have a confession to make...remember how I said I only read completed stuff cuz I have no tolerance for suspense? Yeah, well...with all the cliffhangers you like to throw at us, I couldn't help myself. I just went ahead and read this whole thing. LOL I was too caught up to stop and leave reviews, so I'm going to try and go back and do so. *hangs head, ashamed* Really, it's your own fault, evil cliffhanger woman! ;)
Aw, poor Sammy. He broke my heart here: “Dean? Please don’t be dead! You’re not dead, right? You’re just pretending! Right? ’Cause if you’re dead who’s gonna take care of me? You wanna take care of me, right? ’Cause that’s okay. Really. I didn’t mean what I said yesterday. I really can’t manage without you! I don’t even know why I said that! God, that was such a stupid thing to say and I didn’t even mean it. So you need to wake up now. Dean. Dean? Dean!” *sniffle* Glad he took back those hurtful words, and showed how much he really needs his big brother.
I loved the "SDS": "Something bad was going on, that much Sam was sure of. Dean had taken up his much-practised Sammy Defence Stance, and although Sam was always the first to demand Dean stop treating him like a baby, right now he was more than happy that his big brother was standing between him and Uncle Ian."
Loved this little moment of hero worship: "Hah! You looked away first, loser! Sam thought, not for the first time looking up at his brother with a mixture of awe and pride shining in his eyes."
Love the CHIP cliffie. LOL (Although your writing process as you explained it to me-just evil! LOL)
So glad that Sam believed Dean about their dad's car.
| bhoney chapter 6 . 4/16/2009
Loved this little bit of role reversal: "And then it had been Sam’s turn to gently tell his big brother that he’d just been having a nightmare. That Dad would be back for them. That everything would be alright." Aw...*sniffle*
And this was SO sweet: "It took Dean a second to realise Sammy was reeling off a list of Dean’s favourite breakfast fare." Sammy really won back a lot of my favor in this chapter, after him making me mad in the last one by being so enamored with Ian.
Loved the memories of Dean making pancakes and muffins with m&ms in them. LOL
Man-another cliffhanger! You're killing me here! Love your categories though, SIP, DIP, WIP-LOL.