Reviews for Hylian Creation Myth
Revanation chapter 1 . 2/13/2010
Avalion chapter 1 . 12/11/2009
I really like how you fleshed out the myth but I agree with the ending a biy abrupt.

I don't think odolwa can be counted as he is in a parallel universe kinda thing. Also it was the four giants tha wear the guardians of termina.

The sages? did Hyrules inhabitants even know about them?

Also he said "sometimes immortal" and it is possible to kill immortal things they are not invulnerable.

The spirit thing is a difficult one because they do worship the spirits (including the light spirits) like gods and they do (deku tree, valoo, jabu-jabu (what happened to him?)) have some sort of power over their environment as if they govern it.

Keep it up I really enjoyed it!
ZeldaLover29 chapter 1 . 10/20/2009
Jarmihi chapter 1 . 4/14/2009
To make it sound less cumbersome, you could say "demi-gods", which means "half-gods", instead of "god-like creatures". A demi-god would be like Circe, while a full God would be like Zeus.
Oxygen is a Diradical chapter 1 . 1/13/2009
Vocabulary 10/10

Punctuation and Spelling 10/10

Plot 10/10

Character(s) 10/10

Creativity 10/10

Length 8/10

Summary Overall I love your vocabulary. Nicely done and smooth. Punctuation and Spelling is flawless (unless I overlooked an lucky individual). Plot is fine. You kept the important Character(s) and balanced them out. Creativity is excellent. Your Length...a bit too short for my taste. Write more!

Overall summary without the use of a calculator so it's just general This story is fantastic but needs more chapters and needs to be longer. From your review that I've read (sorry, not much of a Zelda fan or anything) is that you need to research a bit more on your 'gods', and yes, I think the 'Spirit' in the Great Deku Tree Spirit has a meaning in it. So yeah. Please write more and I might have a chance to review them. Please update! :) D
Guest chapter 1 . 5/26/2008
just to let you know jabu-jabu valoo the great deku tree are just spirits.

they are in no way like gods or goddesses because spirits are not able to do anything a god or goddes can do and are capable of death unlike gods or goddesses.

but cyclos is infact a god.

i'm not that sure about odolwa because i never heard of him before.
BurningBoy chapter 1 . 7/8/2007
Wow. I loved it. You have a nice writing style and I enjoyed your take on it all. I put this story into my C2, which is about all Hylian myths and stories.
The-Jaron chapter 1 . 5/23/2007
do another please

very nice and informative

and kind of cool how a lot of eople think the feirce deity is a brother of the goddeses

weird how he cant be a being, a sacred being like the deku tree or valoo

also, deku tree dies in OoT although is reborn and Jabu-Jabu isn't immortal, I think Ganondorf killed him

And don't you kill Odolwa?
Herooftimes chapter 1 . 1/27/2007
odolwa? a god like being? he took only like, a minute or two to beat! and what about fate? what happened to her? which zelda games have you played? what about majora? whos Cyclos?
CruxisWarrior chapter 1 . 8/8/2006
Cool! It had that cool Tri-Force feel to it and I like the

beginning part and the in betweeny part and the endy part to!

Spirito'theWind chapter 1 . 6/13/2006
Really liked the way it was written. Two things annoyed me; the ending, which was quite abrupt and the whole 'began to chant in the unspeakable language of the divine ones'. You just repeated that way too many times. I think htat the ending should have some reference again to all the gods. Something about time shaping destiny...i dunno...i never hae any good ideas really...

But i liked your idea! Keep writing!
Forestwater chapter 1 . 6/13/2006

That was pretty good. The only thing that irked (isn't that a cool work? irkedirkedirked) me was the whole "Unspeakable language of the divine ones." i sorta got it the first time, although i'm sure you meant it that way. yeah. i don't do poetry. although i wrote a beautiful (stretch your imagination) limerick once. ask and i shall tell.

I really liked the way everyday things like time and stuffs are gods or goddesses. *winces* bad wording. Okay, let's try this again:

People are always referring to Fate and Time and stuff like real beings, right? and in this story, they ARE! . . . that amused me.

Looking forward to more stories and stuff!

DCXASSERY (well THAT worked brilliantly. That was supposed to be Casey. Written with my elbows. it DOESN'T work).

p.s. myshadowspirit, i feel so sad for you. but at least YOu don't have TWO FRICKIN' DAYS OF SCHOOL LEFT! AGGHH! LEARNING! IT BURNS!
Aly the Spy chapter 1 . 6/12/2006
You're a really good writer. I've never really thought about the creation of Hyrule, and this was an excellent explaination. Except for the end. It didn't quite flow as the rest did. But I could see this story at the beggining of any Zelda game!

myshadowspirit chapter 1 . 6/12/2006
That was like so much more better then mine . . .hmm . . . well mine is dorky 'cause of the slight humer.(weird mood when wrighting it) but yours is beautiful.

Hey I actually revewed today! Kinda of 'cause I gaveup on studying. . .stupid finals