Reviews for Breaking Free
Gaia'schild chapter 1 . 2/7/2013
Just a bit of advice, your dialogue seems a little stilted and jilted. It doesn't flow like normal conversation, not even written conversation. You might wanted to rewatch a few episodes to get a feel for the character's personality before you write another Numb3rs piece. I personally found myself having to auto correct what the character's were saying so that they sounded more like their true TV selves. Conjunctions are your friend - everyone uses them.
Cutter12 chapter 42 . 11/28/2011
Great story on how both Charlie & Don had to reflect on their emotions and experiences of each other. With a little bit of mystery and action mixed in to keep the whole story hopping.
MarieThea chapter 42 . 11/16/2006
Wow. I just came across this story and read it straight through. You have great characterizations and dialogue, and the character's motives make sense. The plot is isn't too far fetched and is tight with no holes or loose ends that I can see. One thing I do want to mention though is that the story seems to be told, rather than shown. I don't know quite how to explain, but their are all sorts of writing books and articles around if you wanted to think about it. Breaking Free is one of the best stories that I've seen on this site though, don't get me wrong.

I'll probably have to take a while to get to the sequel, though, just a little rest. )
Ivette Boveda chapter 28 . 7/31/2006
what a twist! did that woman do it? great story! sorry about the delay in reviewing...i've been in Europe for two weeks.

i'm catching up little by little:)
Shannon McMichael chapter 42 . 7/26/2006
Great story! Only flaw was that the killer's uncle was a discredited agent. In real life that would have disqualified him from being in th NSA. Otherwise everything else was superb!
justmyopinionfan chapter 1 . 7/24/2006
I was cruising fanfictionnet and ran across this story. I confess I only got a little ways into it because I couldn't picture Charlie as that needy or Don as being that ungrateful. I can see that Charlie might stress himself out over a case, as he did over the little girl he determined was being abused, but I've never seen the FBI take him for granted or Don forget his presense. I sometimes enjoy A/U's, but it's nice to know they are coming. It looks like a nice long story and I'm glad you are getting nice reviews for it. Good luck
Taura Callisto chapter 42 . 7/23/2006
This was a really great story! I have to admit that I got on everyday to see if a new chapter had been posted. You're a great writer and I'm glad you have the stamina to finish such a long story, especially in such a short amount of time. I can't wait to read the sequel. )

Taura Callisto
maurbill chapter 42 . 7/23/2006
OH NO! It's finally happened. It's over. Loved it and you did a truly great job with it. Please do another. I will miss checking in on this story every day. Not too many good ones out there right now. Anyway, it was a great ride and I enjoyed every minute of it.
TriGemini chapter 42 . 7/23/2006
As always very good to read. Really enjoyed the story a lot.
A Thing For Brothers chapter 42 . 7/23/2006
A great ending to a great story. You outdid yourself with this story. It was so great. I'm looking forward to more of your writing. Keep it up!
luvnumb3rs chapter 42 . 7/23/2006
Awesome! Thank you for a great story.
Timespirt chapter 41 . 7/23/2006
Hi,

Wow, 2 great stories so far and I can't wait for the next. I really enjoyed them very much. I generally don't read stories until they are finished, but I was so intriged that I have been reading along chapter to chapter as they came out, and like I said I don't normally do that. I await the next part.

Thank You
luvnumb3rs chapter 41 . 7/22/2006
Loved it thank you.
A Thing For Brothers chapter 41 . 7/22/2006
That was such a good chapter! I'm glad Don and Charlie were able to work things out. I like Charlie's idea with the catcher's protection. Ha. That was cool! Great job on this story. It was truly excellent.
TriGemini chapter 41 . 7/22/2006
Good chapter!

At least, the two of them have cleared things up.

Which is good. Because the longer it dragged out, the harder it would have been for all of them to deal with later on.

Anyway, looking forward to the epilogue. Until then.
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