|Reviews for Le Royaume des Oiseaux The Kingdom of birds|
| Reiko x 3 chapter 20 . 1/21
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Yes, I did just write out a happy squeal. That was a wonderful story, and I regret it took me until September of 2016 to discover this wonderful anime. I could have had so many more years of enjoyment... Ah well. At least I know about it now. I'm really not sure what all to say about your story beyond that I loved it and that it gave me all of the feelings much like the anime does. I can count the number of other fics in this fandom that did the same on one hand. Reading a story I enjoy always pushes me to excel in my own work. You, and those other authors, have inspired me, so thank you for that.
The only critique I can offer is I noticed a few typos here and there. I would advise going over the story again and editing these errors yourself or finding someone willing to serve as an editor. Personally, I self edit rabidly and am never really satisfied so I have to give myself deadlines so I actually, you know, update a story. If you are satisfied with your story in its current for then you are free to ignore my suggestion. That is your right as an author, but - as far as I'm concerned - the purpose of the review system is to offer feedback so we can all encourage each other to improve our skill as writers. So that is what I am doing.
| alchemist92190 chapter 1 . 3/4/2013
Hi! I just wanted to say that I loved your story. It's prob now my favorite PT fic I've read. I just wanted you to know how happy your story made me and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I can't wait to see what else you come up with :)
| Breeluv chapter 20 . 3/28/2011
| Breeluv chapter 5 . 3/27/2011
| asumi-chan chapter 19 . 11/11/2010
I love this chapter it was my favorite yet.
This chapter made me cry so much.
Thank you for making this story for us.
| BlueForestAngelCat chapter 20 . 1/3/2010
This is an amazing story! It's one of my top favorites :3 I loved it!
| tsubasamemories chapter 1 . 11/11/2009
I love this story I've read it three times already Uzuri is my fav oc of yours
| ultimatebishoujo21 chapter 1 . 9/20/2009
i wonder wat will happen next
| sunkissedvampire chapter 12 . 3/3/2009
its pretty good. Fakir seems a bit out of character to me, and theres very little ballet in it, but its good.
| LittleAzureWyvern6 chapter 20 . 9/8/2008
ive just finished reading the whole story omg its fantastic! words cant describe how fantastic it is! well done love this story!
| Sailor Phantom of Middle Earth chapter 1 . 9/3/2008
Well this is sure interesting. Not bad. :D
| Mirocchi chapter 2 . 7/10/2008
It's a lot better now. Thanks! _
| Mirocchi chapter 15 . 6/25/2008
Good. I like it. I mean the story IS good, and you've made some really good decisions, not letting them get past everything easily. You have imagination.
However, you should get yourself a beta reader. I got tired of fixing the words and sentences in my head. Even I could beta read this, and English isn't even my mother tongue. Your sentences are too long, and you use too much, sometimes even misuse, some words. I have had to add words myself, and skip every unnecessary "then". The story would flow nicely without that word.
"I fixed a little bit of it. Here's how you wrote it:
But however though Ahiru was not in his line of view, then he turned his head and saw that already that she was already starting her exercises.
Pique then started to speak up for Ahiru, “She’s working really hard already. So please forgive her!” She spoke quickly.
Then Lilie continued for her, “the apprentice class is fine, but please excuse her from the marriage!” She also spoke quickly.
Then idiotically to similar to a cat Neko-sensei started to roll around on the ground in a circle."
And here's how it could be writen:
"But Ahiru was not in his line of view. He turned his head and saw that she was already starting (to do) her exercises.
Pique started to speak up for Ahiru:
“She’s working really hard already. So please forgive her!”
She spoke quickly.
Lilie continued for her: “The apprentice class is fine, but please excuse her from the marriage!” She also spoke quickly.
Like a cat Neko-sensei started to roll around on the ground in a circle."
I'll keep on reading, because your plot is really interesting. And because you are good with that already, you could in the future give some notice to the stuff I mentioned. I'm sorry for being rude and harsh, but I like the story too much - I like you too much - to let you do mistakes you could avoid. And if you think you can't do it, try to find a good beta. If you don't find any... Well, you can always PM me, and I'll do what I can. _
Thank you for publishing this story, it's really cute.
| Mystic Spirit Angel chapter 20 . 3/11/2008
I absolutely loved this story! Full of creativity and originality!
| packardball chapter 20 . 2/7/2007
sniff sniff sniff my face was soo close to the screen my farther had to pull my head back so i dont fired my eyers i love it love it itititititilobve if there was a beeter word than love i would say it but there isnt look in the diconary there is no better word than love i love this story