|Reviews for She Who Destroys the Light|
| CherryFlamingo chapter 7 . 11/25/2011
Interesting... Some parts of the whole thing was just funny.
| Guardian Izz chapter 3 . 5/20/2011
OK, I gave your story a shot. I truly did.
Yes you apparently know a lot of terms and facts about real life in BCE Greece area, but seriously?
You turned the myth about themost successful married couple among the Gods into a story about Hades and his Wh*re of a bride.
You may think that what you are writing is realistic and anti-romantic, but there is such a thing as being too visual. I cannot believe you had the heroine one her fours, and made her virginity sound as if it meant nothing whatsoever.
Sure Romans and Greeks back then were very open about their sexuality, but virginity and purity was important! Otherwise myths and legends would not be written about these concepts in the first place - so your little thesus here doesn't add up.
Also, I'll have you know that the word "maiden" was made up to signify not only an unmarried woman but also a virgin. If a married woman was assumed to have been penetrated by her husband then a maiden was the opposite.
Say what you will but I think you shall find in literature over time and centuries that a "maiden" is meant to be a "virgin"!
And the things you've said about Artemis and Athena and Hestia, well it's like you going back on everything the first feminists were about.
Basically what you're saying is that a woman can live without a man but not without a c*ck! Are you kidding me?
You must be an extremely sexual person if you are writing something like htis about the maiden Kore, a name which means "maiden" in the first place. Just because you enjoy sleeping with men or wish you had the chance to be some femme fetale doesn't mean you should just butcher Persephone and Hades.
there's no way I'm continuing to read this.
Usually I don't review stories that I find too out of tune with my taste - but this atrocity had to be confronted!
| Sarah1812 chapter 7 . 5/20/2011
I don't know what it is you think you're doing but you're ruining a perfectly beautiful and wonderful myth with this suppsoedly "based on true events" fic.
I mean come on! The very idea that Hades would end up with some woman who has been F*CKED by an entire army like a dog in the heat is simply disgusting!
What is WRONG with you?
| Madame Thome chapter 7 . 5/8/2011
Oh golly you are so right this guy is CHUCK FULL of ego. Usually I would write off such a character as a narcissitic jerk but this is so such a special case. He is just a guy who has been his own best friend for so long that this is his normal way of being. He has no one to friend with. His basic relations with other's consist of defending his reputation with both his peer gods and his subjects and he has become that character. Did the three fates step in to rescue him from himself? Physsa is the grain of sand in his oyster that with repeated irratitions/encounters will one day become his pearl.
Polydegmon realizes that his self-absorption caught up with him this time so he is a bit brusque with Physsa and his commandar. But when answered in a respectful and logical manner he calms which shows his true character. A good paper trail and yards of red tape is another therapy for this guys inflated ego. Hey this guys way over inflated ego is like an annerysm in a blood vein and is a real hazzard unless its attended to.
Phassa you are such a good practical girl; you don't allow your feelings to be hurt by Polydegon's assessment of your bedroom potential to him, you have a great sense of humor, and the wisdom to keep your mouth shut so you can have an extra day of life.
What a great Mother's Day Gift this writing is like the South Pacific Pearls. So serious and so funny at the same time and mixed like a deliciously and skillfully made lattee. By the way Happy Mother's Day to you.
Phassa's got one living day and she is going to make the most of it. I bet the poor girl is hungry after all her adventures.
| Anonymous chapter 6 . 5/8/2011
I think that you should work a bit on the timeline as alot of the events are not making sense
| madame thome chapter 6 . 12/4/2010
First sentence and we know that Phassa died. Given we knew as part of a war party this was a pretty good risk. Kudos for this great dramatic opening for your new chapter!
Let me add my two cents worth on Charon and
Stynx. It has always been my opinion that they are lovers and the psychology of their relationship would put Romeo and Juliet to shame. Does anyone know of their relationship? Well Hades and a few of his close friends-maybe. Yes, I believe that Charon is a very handsome man and Stynx loves every stroke of his oar gliding upon her waters.
Love how the souls on the banks of the Stynx sing, dance, talk story(?), etc to pass the time. Of course its only logical! The underworld can't be all moaning and groaning.
What you tell in a small paragraph with naught but a white feather. Many weightly things revealed with the lightness of words and this feather. Wonderful! Skillful!
So now the roles are reversed and Phassa has a chance to help Dievon. All too true no "survivors benefits" in the ancient world no matter who you were.
That white owls feather sure is a ticket to a beautiful underworld. Scary but beautiful palace guards. Hey who does their makeup for them? What a lovely palace and court Hades has! Who and what exactly are his courtiers? Love the little dogs - are they his special pets along with Cerbus? Love to know more about these people and pets.
Phassa's priestess duties and lessons have certaintly given her good speaking skills. So she became a Vestial Virgin at 7 and is "not quite 17" to quote Hades towards the end of the chapter. So she would have almost fufilled the first third of her duty time as priestess to Hades sister. "The ice in the speakers voice was warm compared to the sweat that burst from my brow" such a good word picture of fear and awe.
Love Phassa's suprise at how handsome Hades is and his fawn like eyes give him a little tender touch. That she has an almost instinctional understanding of him liking to be surrounded by beauty and riches to "console himself on his dreary lot" shows the potential for later chemestry. Hades is obiviously impressed by the girls humality, bravery and obedience. He also finds her amusing in the course of the natural humor arising from the situation. As she gives serious respectful answers to his questions he must also admire her selfless devotion to her friend Dievon.
Who is the Pandora of the divine race? I hope you will answer this later in your story. Please unanswered curiousity is such agony. So sweet engraving the initials of his family on the bottom of his shoe-these people and the Greeks wrote messages on their sandle soles I know that. Love the grim humor after she buries him "This time stay in there." Conclude the buriel with flowers always a nice touch. As long as you don't touch the wrong flower that is.
So the picking of the humble narcissis forces the mighty god of the underworld to whoever picked it? Yeah I'd be pretty grouchy if I was forced to do that. Must be pretty gutsy nymphs to do such a thing. Unless Hades likes it because they give him some when they summon him.
Hades is definitly intreguied and amused by this girl. So he offerres her a position and she accepts. Now will she be allowed to have all the guys she wants in his service just like when she served his sister? She'd better ask his permission first and I wonder what he would say to her? I can see this starting as a sort of "office romance" amoung the other things.
Sure looking forward to the update. Know you must be very busy and this well researched work takes a while to write. Best wishes for the 2010 Holiday season.
| madame thome chapter 5 . 12/2/2010
Cannot imagine a more harsh coming of age event than witnessing a war. As I ponder for a few moments I wonder is it harder to kill people in war or witness them being killed? My answer is witness because your eyes see and your mind thinks while shooting a gun or swinging a sword is so much more of a mindless act. Phassa's mental agony of reconciling these friends and lovers with what they do in the height of their professional glory must be unimaginable. Well I can only began to realize the skill strength needed to survive such.
Have you symbolized her reconcilation with her surrender of her "second virginity"? By this I mean her killing of Machia. Sometimes I have heard it said that two rites of passage are your first sexual experience and the first time you take a human life. Somewhere I heard one older warrior saying this to a young warrior in some movie or book. So long ago that I don't remember the source but this story recalls the incident from some mental storage file.
What a beautiful relationship Physsa and Dievon have. She learns much from him but I think he also learns a lot from her. When Dievon asks "What woman can weild a sword and avenge her people?" She replies "The father may put food on the table but the mother puts love or hate in a childs heart." What an awesome saying. So true.
Thank you for sharing all the research that inspired you to write this chapter. You really bring out the cruelities and horror of war in a graphic and pogient way. Human beings are all the same at heart-both good and bad- all through time and different cultures.
Phassa is becoming dearer to my heart with each passing chapter. She is an ordinary girl who just uses the common sense given to her in the best manner possible. She is a good person and not afraid to take drastic measures when it is warrented. By not allowing guilt to eat her up over it she uses this ability in a well diciplined manner to "live her best life" as Orprah would say it.
Let me end by complimenting your creativity in the ending of chapter five and beginning of chapter six. Instead of ending this chapter on a highly dramatic note as many might you end it on an interesting but less intense note. Then in the first paragraph of chapter six the major event that is hinted at in the last paragraph of chapter five comes directly into focus. Wonderful job!
| madame thome chapter 4 . 12/2/2010
How refreshing to hear the story of Herculas told from his "employer and staff's" point of view. The wanax isn't really bad or good as a person. He likes people to tell him what he wants to hear which is rather shallow and stupid. But many people are like that so I guess he is just a typical king. He lives in the manner in which he was raised no worse and no better.
Oops the fire went out but that was quickly remedied from a torch flame. How often in the real world do our lives take a turn with some little accident or oversight in much the same way. Not looking close enough in the other lane when driving because you are looking for a turn in an uncharted territory, someone says something and you accidently blurt out something you promised to keep cofidential you know the list is endless. But the angels and good spirits must keep a close watch on us because so many of these disasters are stopped before they occurr. Some are allowed to happen and with the right attitude they help us develop our character.
What a cute little beastie you have made Cerberus out to be. But these jerks careless treatment of him makes me want to call the ASPCA. Good I hope they did tremble in their sandles when the little guy snapped at them. Glad that Phassa got to be present and found Hercules to be candy to the eye. She deserves a few perks-actually all the treats she can get for having to devote thirty years of her life to this system. See I did a little research I know a Vestal Virgin had to devote thirty years to the priesthood and then she could be free to marry and enjoy men. But figuring the average human only lived forty years back then... but these girls were well cared for so... Sorry don't mean to wander so far off the subject.
"That curve of intestine clearly symbolizes the Saronic Gulf" gave me a little bit of basic education in innards reading. I know from my reading that livers, intestines, and other innards were read for signs from the animal sacrifice in many of the worlds religions in ancient times. Pretty logical thing to do when you think of it. But I never pictured how they might use their insight until I read your quote above. Not being raised on the farm I kinda find this a little icky but if you were raised with butchering and cooking animals whole it would not be a big deal. Admire Physsa for wanting to avoid a war and the skill she has learned in her years as priestess in expressing her views. Very well written way of showing her maturity in the course of events.
Of course the soldiers and the king win and war it will be. Bet those soldiers are getting excited to go into battle just thinking about it. Poor Physsa she is right in feeling dread for her new assignment. Time to leave the security of home and meet the real world. No guts no glory.
| madame thome chapter 3 . 11/29/2010
Poor young smart Phassa still hasn't had quite enough life experience to learn when to remain silent. So she ends up with some laundry duty. But if she had kept her mouth shut we would't have gotten to hear a good story.
Well she does learn eventually about when to speak, how to speak and when to refrain for her best interests. Love it when the wanax whines "How is it that my dear cousin has enough time to fight wars when he is so busy making children. His short blade must be quick to penetrate." Very amusing.
Note: In a sentence above this quote when the wanax is consulting with his generals; "The troops do love a good everyone is killed, you must take the throne-" did you mean "The troops do love a good BATTLE, WHEN everyone is kille you must take the throne...?" I think a couple of words got left out.
Oh we finally get to the good jucy part. Seven years have passed and now Phassa is obsesssed with good quality man fleash. Allright bring on the babyloves! So the "big bug" gets a nice eyeful and can't resist a pinch. But her first trip to the camp she chickens out and almost knocks over a slave carrying a tray of cukes of course(!)on her way back to the dorm. Very, very amusing. Hey were these cucumbers one of Hestia's portents?
Phassa must be a special girl for Hestia to come and give her personal adbice. Just for her and not for the king or high priestess etc... Love the education she gives Phassa about men. So with this pep talk and being in heat she gets brave and tries again. The second time at least she gets to talk with a nice man even though she doesn't get any.
Good girl go back and try again even though the first time was not very fun. You just got a self-centered jerk to give your virginity to. But with experence comes good judgement and selectiveness which can be applied to any of lifes situations. The overeager puppy dog was frustrating too but hey at least that one wasn't a bum ram. This army camp is kinda of a girls paradise. These guys have to keep these girls happy because they are getting it for free. Since the girls are priestesses they are respected and not considered whores.
Love how she makes friends with the general Dievon and always goes to visit him after she gets some. Sounds like she finds a pretty good performing partner in Lamious and sorta becomes his "ladybug".
General Dievon's words of wisdom "In war a man will stab you from the front, in politics they will stab you in the back" was great. Love this general's character he is basically gallent to Phassa. He shows that he is both an officer and a gentleman in his reaction to Phassa's witnessing an "inter-ruh-guh-shun". As an officer he doesn't understand Physsa's reaction to the brutality but as a gentleman he offers her another fig when she drops the one she has in shock. Very creative.
| madame thome chapter 2 . 11/29/2010
You have got me inspired to know more about the rites used to worship Hades. I know he had very few temples dedicated to him and black sheep and goats were sacrificed to him. I also wish to commend you for the detailed relationships these girls have in living with each other. The cattiness that got Phassa assigned to assist in Hades rituals because she met Heista and insisted that the visit was real. Important people can be so insecure at times and behave like horses rear ends to those they deem lower as a result.
But she gets a little comeuppance as she brings Hades gift to Heista back into the city. Here you write as if you would like a reality fantasy cutting through lines to be first! Living in a large city I know the feeling traffic jams, lines at the store ect... My husband was in the military and there is nothing more boring then sentry duty. I am sure these two guards got a good bit of enterainment making a "dramatic example of foreigners" in asking for her "ID" and making loud comments about keeping their eye on her.
What a wonderful laugh I got from the albone shell quote. Very true. "Bright on the outside and dull and irratable on the inside."
Very happy to see that our heroine is receiving an education but at this age she equates it with baths. So funny to watch her ask questions as any intelligent child will about how come she must be totally correct with her math if the gods the gods consider it trival. Typical kid having to do their homework attitude.
Then she also receives a real life education learning that the Wanax is just an "ordinary man in extraordinary clothing" with two over papmered and spoiled children. I wonder if she laughs and is enterained by the "Horrible Hercules Ham up" just because its so awful its good? Well a rotton show for a spoiled rotton princess sounds like a match.
Hey you no hit up de king for money he supposed to do dat to you. He one big vacume cleaner sticking its nozzle in all your pockets. Stupid general ye not know that? How did you get to be a general?
Yes tell the wanax what he wants to hear that is the basis of all good monkey business. Love how you are so learned and serious but so outragiously funny in your craft at the same time.
| Madame Thome chapter 1 . 11/24/2010
So sorry that it took me so long to read your version of this story. I am very impressed and you have inspired me to get to know more about ancient Crete and its culture. Also got a real laugh out of the Hades and Sephie caragories you divided the various stories into. You are very correct in your judgement of this and it was very enteraining.
Writing this story from the perspective that it had human as well as godly orgins was a real feat of creativity. Having Homer identify this human girl with the goddess Kore many years later just adds to the mistique of the story. Introducing the story through the writer of the origional source is a wonderful way to show both motivation and the scope of your research.
The ruins of the ancient royal palace of Crete are a truly spitual place. A lady who many years later became my sister was so taken by the island in her youthful travels that she legally changed her first name to Crete. Her parents were totally supportative of her actions.
So much and yet so little remains of ancient Crete. The royal palace is so remarkably intact as is its plumbing. I believe part of the palace structure was made of wood and thje wood in some places remains in an excellant state of perservation. If so the wood why not some cloth in a tomb or other place where it could survive? I wish that even one or two of the actual garments so beautifully portrayed in their murals could be perserved so we could see how they were actually made. Prehaps some day a lucky archeolgist will unearth...
Please forgive my ramblings you have so perked my interest in things long forgotten. So your Sephie begins as a vestal virgin trainee. The swear word phrase you start the story with would the people of this culture actually said this? Either way its very effective and colorful.
What a spunky, smart, and resourceful main character you have developed.
| twin01 chapter 6 . 8/11/2010
This is such a good story. So different from all the rest that I've read. I'm so GLAD you decided to continue it! Pls don;t stop writiign this amazing story! I'll be waiting for the next update.
| aleaiactaest93 chapter 6 . 8/11/2010
Great chapter, as always:) glad she finally met hades! as in all the previous chapters you continue to impress me with your knowledge of customs and culture of the ancient Greeks!:)
| ghostgirl1982 chapter 3 . 9/13/2009
Wow...this story is just incredible. U are so unbelievably talented :)
I see that this story has been ongoing for 3 years, but I take it ur reposting or something? I hope so as I'll be gutted if it's like a year between chapters!
Well, I have no critism to post as your writing is truly amazing...more please :-)
| Miseriie chapter 1 . 8/14/2009
lemon halves ha hahahaaha