|Reviews for Another Adventure in Narnia|
| Acelinn chapter 14 . 1/31/2007
hi! I'm a new reviewer - i just discovered this ffn today. I like it! Peter is awesome - and the idea is very imaginative - perfect for Narnia! I like!
Now, ideas? Well. I think that Aslan has to be involved with the grand defeat, as well as Peter and Lily. And another vision would be good - but maybe this time you could give it to Lily! Perhaps have Aries try to possess someone close to Peter, like Susan or Lucy or Edmund, and set up this huge ambush and battle...etc.
But, good luck on it! And feel free to contact me if you need any more ideas!
| Miss Pookamonga chapter 14 . 1/28/2007
Nice chap, although short. I like how you put in the bit about the white hair. And Peter taking off his shirt *ahem*No, I don't have an obsession w/ William Moseley*ahem*...O_o
Anyhoo, suggestions. Aslan should definitely be involved in Aries' defeat, although I'm not exactly sure how. Hm...Peter and Lily could escape from wherever they are and start heading back toward Cair Paravel, only to learn from a dryad that Aries is waiting there for them and has the castle under her control. And then Peter starts coming up with a plan to ambush Aries, so they start taking the long way around to the castle, but it turns out that Aries really isn't at Cair Paravel. She disguised herself as the dryad and is really following them invisibly. She wanted them to take the long way b/c it would take longer to get to the castle and she would have a chance to kill Peter. So she gets into Lily again and tries killing Peter, but Peter doesn't want to defend himself for fear of killing Lily. So, she's killing him, and all of a sudden, she (Lily) has a vision of Aslan telling her to be strong and to have faith in Him, or something like that. And then she's able to stop Aries from forcing her to kill Peter, and Aries, since she no longer has control of Lily's thoughts and actions, is destroyed. Okay, I just came up w/ that off the top of my head. But I hope it helps!
Miss Pookamonga ;-P
| Darkeyes92 chapter 14 . 1/28/2007
after reading all of this story i think that Aries should demand the soul of King Edmund as her husband and gives Peter two days to get Edmung to come, if he does not come then Aries will take Lily's soul for life. but on the second day when Peter realises that he cannot choose between them he then goes off to fight her, he has not told anyone where he is going but edmund followes him and saves his life, when he tries to fight her. Also it would seem that Aries is in love with Edmund in an obsessive way and cannot hurt him. so Aslan shows up and gives her the chance of turning from her demonic heritage, so that she can live with Edmund. she refuses and is destroyed by Adlan who then sets Lily free. But her hair is always white. Aslan cannot change that.
hope you ike it!
| Sparrow-Turner.gals chapter 13 . 12/12/2006
Hey! I just realized I haven't reviewed your story yet so, here you go. I love it so far. You have a great plot but if you want a suggestion then I think you could use a little more description and don't be afraid to space stuff out more. (I need to work on the spacing too. )
| JediMan chapter 13 . 12/11/2006
Nice plotline, but you lack some skill of writing and depth, and a lot of words are miss spelled, and miss spaced. You don't have to say "" said, "" continued all the time. You can let the dialogue talk itself.
| Miss Pookamonga chapter 13 . 12/10/2006
Amazing! Can't wait for more!
Miss Pookamonga ;-P
| alastriona chapter 13 . 12/8/2006
Mh... I love it! it's really good, and you're one of the only fanfiction writers I've come across who knows grammar and can spell most of the time! Nice plot... If you changed the characters you could send it in to a short story (or long story, depending on how it turns out) publisher. You're pretty good!
| Hope and love chapter 13 . 12/8/2006
i love it!
| Della9 chapter 1 . 11/22/2006
OMGSH! THIS IS SO UNBELIEVABLY GOOD!
You should get published! I felt like I was reading a real book . . . only, it had alot of grammatical errors and your writing could use several instructing classes, but otherwize it was just MIND-BOGGLING!
How do you do it?
E-mail me pointers on your fantabulously MASTERFUL writing skills.
. . . .
I just can't get over it!
YOU ARE LIKE MY BEST FRIEND NOW!
Are you nine years old? Because I am, and I just recognized your writing to be alot like mine.
Lauren485's sister, Della
| roseperpetual chapter 12 . 9/12/2006
..And the plot thickens! A bit on the short side, but nevertheless good. Hmm... so you hinted that Peter and Lily were going to get married (...eventually). Aries apparenly lured Lily into his trap. The shortness was the only qualm I had with this chapter, but it was still an interesting plot and the chapter helped to move it along further. Post more as soon as you can!
| Miss Pookamonga chapter 12 . 9/11/2006
What's going to happen to Lily? I can't wait to find out exactly who this Aries is...so you'd better update! Haha! Good job again w/ this chap!
Miss Pookamonga ;P
| sweetiepye2332 chapter 12 . 9/10/2006
oh, please update soon! this is such a great fic!
| Hope and love chapter 12 . 9/10/2006
i love it!
| Avvithespaz chapter 11 . 8/31/2006
LOVED IT update soon!1
| Narnialover chapter 11 . 8/20/2006
love it! what's going to happen now? how will Peter find her?