Reviews for The Sixth One
Tara Poole chapter 1 . 9/4
Hi there! I enjoyed your story It runs in the Family and I thought this chapter was hilarious!
P. S. Nefarious has a weird sense of humour, but that's just who Nefarious is... and I kinda thought it was funny, too! Also funny how Nefarious stuck the syringe in Pincer's butt! And I liked Ratchet's reaction to that!
Au revoir!
Danielle chapter 2 . 3/27/2007
Nice chapter. Can't wait till you continue updating it.

I have a question about Ratchet and Sasha, though. Why is it that they can't be together because of their race? Why does race matter?

I liked the paparazzibot. You make interesting stories, by the way. Nice writing skills you have. Update soon :)
Kirmon64 chapter 3 . 8/1/2006
Odairu: Sequel! yay! *cheers*

Orion: Just a couple spelling mistakes (mostly homonym thingies), but otherwise it's perfect. I think it looks fine with the weapon names uncapitalized (is that even a word?)
asbiahr0w4yh chapter 3 . 7/22/2006
Whew, boy has it been awhile since I've left any reviews! Sorry it took me so long to do so-I've been on vacation for about a week and our motel didn't have any internet access, so that's why I was unable to leave any reviews.

Anyway, about the chapter, it was great, as usual. For one thing, you write very, very good action scenes. They're among some of the best that I've seen in this section, if I could be more honest about how I feel about them. Also, the dialogue was pretty in-character as well. The only thing was that Qwark's dialogue seemed to be a bit ooc at times, but that's actually ok for a change specifically because of the fact that I like the way you've characterized him. He's not a total coward or idiot in this story and that's why I like your characterization of Qwark, so the way you've written his dialogue in is ok, in my opinion. Besides, it's kind of annoying to see a character be a total moron all of the time, anyway, after all. XP

Also, this new character (Tahiri) seems to be a very complex character as well. She seems like a total badass chick to me and I like her because of that. Nice job on your OCs because they feel very fleshed out so far. ;) I can't wait to see where you take them in the future.

But anyway, I saw very few mistakes in this chapter, so well-done! And about the weapons being capitalized, I've always had trouble debating that as well, but I'd say that they really don't need to be capitalized. Just think, you don't see people capitalizing the word 'machine gun' or 'bazooka', so just go by that. ;)
Dr. Ridley chapter 3 . 7/19/2006
Pretty good. The fighting was really well done and the dialogue was okay. Also, you don't need to capitalize the names of weapons. Keep up the good work.
Albatross chapter 2 . 7/18/2006
Guud one.

Like the story, interesting.

lol - nefarious loves his feminine voice...

Yep, that chap was probbably a nessessary one. Here are somethings I hope are helpful suggestions:

I noticed that you break the fourth wall alot, (you know, talk directly to the audience, almost casually).

As well, some of the descriptions are too straight forward and still break the fourth wall. Not only are some of the descriptions too straight forward but some are too verbose.

As well, you cycle through different names for the characters, i dont think you need to. Al - Genius, Techno-Genius ect. And you constantly refer to Pincer as a freak when a simple "he" or "Pincer" would do.
Stryke Slagar chapter 3 . 7/18/2006
Unfortunately my friend they do need to be capitalized. They're names and therefore need to be capitalized. See ya later. Oh is the thief an experiment by chance?
Stryke Slagar chapter 2 . 7/14/2006
HILARIOUS! HAHAHAHAHA! So when is my brother Stryke going to come in? Serpro15 is fighting a war in another dimension right now so I, Serpro, am in charge right now. Stryke is the thugs-4-less good guy Serpro15 told you about. Just wanted to make sure you hadn't forgotten my bro (he gets real scary when he's forgotten). Paparazzibot! How hilarious is that? Keep it up D91. What does that stand for? Good bye.
Gamer619 chapter 2 . 7/9/2006
No offense but this chapter was kind of boring. I know it's nessacary for the plot but I just wasn't interested as usual. I look forword to the next chapter( which you said will be long and sweet).
slyfoxx chapter 2 . 7/8/2006
Great chapter, cant wait to see more! are Ramaxis and Albert going to apper in the next chapter ? UPDATE SOON !
Gamer619 chapter 1 . 7/2/2006
Great start! It was longer than I expected. Pincer sounds pretty gross too. Oh yeah, and is Ramaxis gonna return. He better...

Update soon.
Hylic Soul chapter 1 . 6/30/2006
Ew, this pincer fellow sure is ugly. I gotta imagine that his spine could easily snap with all that extra weight placed on the neck portion of the lombax. :P

I wonder how he sleeps...

Good fight scene.

Funny stuff in there, too. (the tweezer part, lol)


xvjafhafg.a chapter 1 . 6/30/2006
Oh-me-oh-my, this was a good start for something that'll surely be an epic story. The description was spot-on, the action well-done (though foggy at a few times. Emphasis on few)with some very Ratchet and Clank-esque dialog. I also liked the way you portrayed Ratchet and Nefarious's interactions with one an other. I don't mind onomop... whatever, but whatever ya called them, I'm fine with them as long as it doesn't burn my retinas. My only nitpicks are that the l33t can get in the way at times, especially when you want to be serious (it did okay becuz it was trying to be lighthearted)and that I doubt that in the future, space-pirates are rare or OMG. In that time, wouldn't you expect space-pirate attacks as daily occurences such as drive-bys and ye old pirates once were(though still criminal and horrid)?
Dr. Ridley chapter 1 . 6/28/2006
This one sounds like a winning story. An open story, good fight scenes, and awesome humor. Keep up the great work!
slyfoxx chapter 1 . 6/26/2006
NAME: Drak

AGE: 25

GENDER: male

GALAXY: Horror

REASON FOR COMING TO SOLANA: A literal blood-thirsty mercenary

PLANET: Gastly

SPECIES: Vamprick

APPEARANCE:5 fingered claws, long stretchy arms, long whit hair some hanging on the right, red eyes, long ears, tiger-like snout, a pair of battered 10-foot wings, spikes around his wrist, long jaw with whiskers at the sides

CLOTHING: A loin-cloth & a cape black on the outside, red on the inside

SHIP: A Coffin shaped, with bat wing-like jets on the sides

PERSONALITY: vengeful, greedy and dark

SPECIALTY: hit-man

ETC: has Transylvanian accent, hates the sun and high pitch noises


AGE: 18

GENDER: female

GALAXY: Solana


SPECIES: robot

APPEARANCE: grey metal skin, black metal hair blue eyes, three antenna, two where her ears would be and at the top of her head and red lips

CLOTHING: large black pants, light blue tang top, yellow sholder pad and red shoes

SHIP: none

PERSONALITY: fuuny, flirtatious, free spirited, wacky

SPECIALTY: criminal rehabitator

ETC: is Helga' little sister, has crush on Raxamis, is a BIG fan of Ratchet and the Q-Force
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