Reviews for Captivated
Empress-Eerian-Sadow chapter 1 . 6/27/2006
interesting touches of foreshadowing, without really giving too much away. it had depth and was well written-two traits that are often lacking in a one-shot fic.

great work!
awesomesen chapter 1 . 6/25/2006
:D I shall be more then happy to provide you with plotbunnies, anytime, anywhere. I am right now sending Leblanc/Paine thought waves in your direction; are the bunnies biting yet?

How about now?

...How about now?

Less pointlessly: I didn't notice the first time reading this, but now that I've re-read it, I really like the sentence early on, where Nooj thinks something like, 'that Shuyin guy sure looks familiar, HOW STRANGE.' On more familiar comment grounds, Nooj is *such* a little voyeur, and this still amuses me. Yes, Noojie. Lurk in corners. XD Or on balchonies...

I made a point out of not commenting on the Paine/Nooj angle last time, because although I like the couple it isn't a pair of characters I'm altogether comfortable with writing, but I'll be brave and try to explain to The N/P Lady what I thought of it this time... I did like the little comment on her dressphere change, or rather that whole "that's funny, was she a mage before?" thing, although I'm not quite sure why that struck me. I like Nooj's "hey, she's looking for me! NO SHE ISN'T, I AM ANGSTY MWAHA." And how he totally wasn't interested in staring at Yuna until, wait, that's not Yuna at all! Yay!

And then I like the sudden shift, and then the sudden shift back, and how Nooj's reaction is not "wtf?" but more, "there is probably a logical explanation, and I will figure it out by /spending time/ with her."

Way to be subtle there, Shuyin. :D

At this point I'm just repeating myself, however. :D Not terribly uncommon for me, no, but all the same...

...So, have the Paine/Leblanc plotbunnies arrived yet?

No? How about n-
cirruscastle chapter 1 . 6/25/2006
I like the way you've portrayed Nooj, so driven in his pursuit of Vegnagun that he has no time for celebrations. The fact taht he gets headaches since the incident with Shuyin is interesting as well.

I like the way Nooj becomes a voyeur, wanting so badly to see Paine, but ashamed and afraid of showing himself to her.

Also this is such an amazingly interesting idea. At first I was totally confused about what it was that was drawing Nooj to Yuna, then I realized and I must say it is very brilliant. I love the idea of Shuyin's emotions coming to the surface in Nooj's body and drawing him irresistably to Yuna/Lenne. I like the way the residue of emotion that stays with Nooj makes im alter his plans subconsciously.

The way you describe the transformations that the dress spheres cause is interesting and the way you make the garment grids into physical objects is also intriguing. I really enjoyed this story.

Nitpicking:

"He wanted to spend more time studying the sphere the girls had snatched from Kilika Temple and then returned, looking for more clues to the location and proper operation of Vegnagun." I find this sentence confusing, mainly because I am not sure who it is that is looking for the clues about Vegnagun - is that Nooj, or the Gullwings? I would also add something about where the spehere was returned.