Reviews for Harry Potter and the Darkness Within
Yakharelli chapter 1 . 1/6
Me encanta! Se que solo voy en el primer capitulo pero lo que he leído es genial. Tiene muy buena trama y redacción.
Guest chapter 2 . 11/10/2017
Does the on your keyboard not work? Your senescence are smashed together into a big incoherent run-on mess.
Guest chapter 1 . 11/10/2017
Do you know what a ‘run on sentence‘ is? I strongly suggest you find out. If you want to write, you should learn proper sentence structure.
Owari no Seiryu chapter 1 . 8/29/2017
So the idea isn't bad. Like this story has serious potential, and obviously a good share of readers enjoy it. However, I would really recommend finding a beta for it. It would do wonders for your work. at the very least reread the entire story (I know) out loud (I KNOW) and see if you notice the mistakes in punctuation and grammar. Reading out loud will quiet easily point out incorrect word usage and run ons. Ex: wandermosey around maybe curiously or aimlessly but wonder feeling of awe, delight, and satisfying curiosity. My definitions are not entirely correct but it's repeated mistake I've seen and serves as a good example for a bit of what to look for. Honestly if the punctuation is improved as well as a good portion of word usage, only grammar hounds will get on you for there,their, and they're or your, you're
Guest chapter 2 . 8/24/2017
Wow. This is badly written. It's really hard to understand in places.
Guest chapter 2 . 3/29/2017
Wow. This is badly written.
BeccaRave chapter 5 . 3/10/2017
I like the plot but PLEASE get a beta or edit your grammar. I really can't finish it. Besides that, the idea is great.
Tilue Akane chapter 8 . 8/16/2016
I meant to ask a few chapters ago but, what a out the other Weasleys more so the Weasley Twins? They aren't mean too are they?
Tilue Akane chapter 6 . 8/16/2016
**GASP** Are you saying what I hope you're saying?!
Tilue Akane chapter 5 . 8/16/2016
You're finally where you've always belonged, welcome home!
Tilue Akane chapter 4 . 8/16/2016
I would be HONORED to have the extreme loyalty of the Slytherin! Harry's so lucky!
Tilue Akane chapter 3 . 8/16/2016
Why do they think it is a good idea to send Harry back to Gryffindor (sp?)? Especially after what just happened!
Tilue Akane chapter 1 . 8/16/2016
Amazing first chapter (I rarely use the word amazing BTW) I wonder if he can eat human food (like vampire diaries) or if he only eats blood (like twilight)
TVICKI2288 chapter 18 . 7/21/2016
This story is both strange and wonderful. I've never read such a twisted plot. LOL !
thephoenixandthedragon4ever chapter 18 . 2/12/2016
A great story with a unique and well thought out. I enjoyed the AU you created for my favorite pair Severus and Harry plus painted the Slytherins in a favorable light. Great job and hope you continue to write Snarry in the future
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