|Reviews for Dark intentions|
| Chislaine Hewitt chapter 1 . 7/8/2006
It's an okay prologue, but can you be specific with your characters?
For instance: Your readers have no clue about this little boy.
Second, we don't know if this is yaoi or not(really hope it's not yaoi).
All I know that the figure could be a Monkey Ax-Murder. You just call the the thing or whatever that wants to kill the mother and the son, 'figure.'
Be more specific!
| SecretForKeeps chapter 2 . 7/7/2006
Yay! AU! We have a lack of those in the Rockman section.
It was an okay first chapter, it still makes me wonder as to what's going on! T.T I guess I'll just have to wait for more chappies. I did, however, notice a couple of spelling mistakes. Nothing major, though.
| SecretForKeeps chapter 1 . 6/30/2006
It was a very good start. Very mysterious. It makes me wonder WHAT'S GOIN ON?
As for the first chapter, figure out what the story needs and be sure to include those bits then let the rest come naturally.
I can't wait for chapter one! Update soon!
| Sage chapter 1 . 6/29/2006
that's so sad, you can't just stop there. plz, you must continue. even though it is sad at first i like how you are developing the story.
| Youkomon chapter 1 . 6/29/2006
I'll admit that this a decent start. Lovely portrayal of who I'm going to assume is Enzan's mother. I like how you built on the loving relationship she shared with her son, the little scene with him seeking out her heartbeat as a form of comfort is not only tender but does have an element of truth to it in the natural scheme of things. It was also gratifying to see you shaping out Enzan's father as a more caring one in the past than most writers like to make him out to be, or so it appears by the following line: ”Just be patient, son. You won’t always be this small, you’ll grow. Just be patient.”
Prehaps even foreshadowing of how Enzan will be forced to grow up mentally as well as phyiscally later on? At least 'Hope' seems to illustrate that he still needs to grow as Blues is molly-coddling him to an extent...
Yea, interesting so far and I wouldn't be terribly put out if you didn't continue this but it has potential. Put it this way, for someone who claims that english isn't their first language, you have a much better grasp at description and illustrating the characters and their motives, emotions etc. than SOME of the fics I've seen around here.