|Reviews for Insanity|
| dreams-in-elvish chapter 1 . 3/11/2009
Clair...wow, I can't believe we did this xD
it's so funny.
| Cookiesama chapter 1 . 8/12/2006
Let me guess... Was it u that knocked her out? But, still very cool! Did u right a chappie 2?
| Trixters' Muse chapter 2 . 8/10/2006
I like it so far, it's really good. Hope to see another amazing chapter soon, laters!
| Cleone chapter 1 . 7/2/2006
Self-insertions are a big no-no for for writers. They let the whole world peek inti an author's horny fantasies.
And...they MAJORLY warp the characters. While your writing is pretty good, I just...I dunno...couldn't feel Kishimoto-san's characters shine through.
Work hard and you'll have a great fic!
P.S. No need to come by and flame my fics. There's a lotta yaoi, cursing, and sexual inuendo. _~
| NoCareChakara chapter 2 . 6/30/2006
OMG! HER NAME BACKWARDS IS 'EAR IDEAS'! OMG! XD
*in heaven* LOVE IT! CONTINUE X3
| NoCareChakara chapter 1 . 6/28/2006
X3 more chappiez...
| ZukoKrazy chapter 1 . 6/28/2006
Hmm...actually, it's a lot better than the self-insertion fics I've read before. A lot more detail, some humor, and the characters don't fall in love with the OCs as soon as they see 'em! Not bad. I, personally, think that you should have spent a little more time explaining and describing the characters before you sent them into the Naruto world. And the whole switching POVs thing? Not my favorite, but at least the reader (I) was able to grasp the POV change. Maybe next time you could put a indication, such as (Saedi's POV) or something.
ANYWAYS, getting back on track, this story has a LOT of potential, but if you're going to pair the OCs up with someone, please, please, PLEASE don't make it in a sudden, 'OMG shes hot im gonna hook up with her.' SO many stories have ended up like that and, frankly, I'm disgusted by most of them.
Right now, in conclusion, you have very good potential for this story. My suggestion is to 1) indicate POV changes 2) don't to a very fast pairing 3) don't make your OCs super strong, super sexy, super fast etc. 4) maybe have the OC hook up some of the canon characters (that's up to you, though)
Don't take this as an insult to your writing, just a review to help you see what could make the story more believeable or better.