|Reviews for The Legends of Rutilus Flumen|
| Catherine M chapter 27 . 2/10
WOW bluetreeleaves, I just spent the past 10 hours I should have been studying reading your works! I started reading "Hello Nurse" since it popped up (totally got that song reference btw!), and it convinved me to read this! I wasn't sure I was going to like the AU, but I was completely pulled in by your writing style and plot! I can't stop grinning, I just LOVED this story, can't wait to read the next part!
I find it very difficult to find stories to get excited to read anymore, thank you for bringing back that joy :)
| Lady Ari chapter 27 . 11/19/2014
Loved it loved it loved it, I thought this was hilarious and can't wait to read more.
| Fairyvixenmaiden chapter 15 . 12/8/2013
Warning: I might take you up on the offer. I'll think of something for Van & Hitomi & the vehotus.
| Ayz283 chapter 27 . 3/22/2013
This story is just wonderful and I love reading it :)
| Arciere chapter 27 . 8/24/2012
First, I have to say that I adore your detail and the world you have created. I can't wait to see more of this story. I wish you had ended it after the trails or something, but meh.
I'm so excited/worried to see what happens to Dilandau! And Merle! Well, everyone really, but you get the point.
By the way, I looked up "Election by Adoration" by Hans Zimmer and Joshua Bell on Youtube. I agree, great song for the dance.
I hope to see this story through!
| Arciere chapter 2 . 8/23/2012
Just wanted to let you know that I am enjoying the story thus far and am interested to see where it leads. You write well, and your characters are captivating.
Also, I'm fairly certain that "Vox" means "voice" in Latin as well. That's what I translated it as in the first chapter, and it makes sense, don't you think?
| stillontheboat chapter 6 . 8/23/2012
The storyline and characterizations may diverge with later chapters, but the similarities to The Blue Sword by Robin McKinley are striking.
The fact that it's two neighboring countries that has had little communication in the last decade or so: one with a history entrenched in magic, the other ignorant of the it. In the book, the magical king has "the gift" which makes his eyes turn golden and it communicates to him non verbally with images and feelings. It also tells him to travel to the neighboring desert country, because of the impending invasion from the North. His Gift also tells him that the one who will save his kingdom will be there. The female protagonist is a foreigner who has come to stay in the border military outpost because her parents have died and her only living relation is her brother who is rising through the ranks. As a favor to her brother, the local ambassador takes her in, and she spends her days with his two daughters, until the first meeting with the King, who comes to visit the ambassador to ask him for his help against the North. As a result of their meeting, he comes that night to steal her away to his kingdom to train her and give her the tools to save his kingdom.
The Blue Sword was one of my favorite books as a child. I recommend reading it if you have not already done so.
| Mikado X Goddess chapter 1 . 2/15/2012
review 521! ha! love this story its sooooo great! going into my faves!
| Winter's Tales chapter 27 . 1/28/2012
OMG, I liked your story so much . . .
There was correct dose of everything; of romance, action and all . . . I don't regret spending 4 to 5 hours reading them! They met in chapter 25, so i knew the story had to be discovered more. and i was right. You made a sequel. Without a doubt I'm going to read it. I'm proud to be the 520th reviewer. A good story has to be reviewed. Loved it. You rock. :D
| mikako17 chapter 27 . 12/29/2011
The bad first (I do say good things later on):
Hitomi doesn't have red hair. I understand you want to make her Zaibachian, but that does not mean you have to give her red hair. I am all for ooc, but Hitomi just does not have red hair. It also came out of nowhere, it was almost like you decided after the second half to turn Hitomi's hair red and announce that it was red every few paragraphs. (It might have been even more interesting for Hitomi to not have red hair and have everyone speculate that she is Zaibachian from her eyes. Whispers in back rooms and whatnot)
Some of the past tense words in the earlier chapters were incorrect, especially shined, shined is when you polish to make it shine, you're looking for shone. Speaking of "you're", sometimes you used "your" where you should have used "you're". You also have issues with quotation marks, when you have quotes inside quotation marks they become apostrophes, i.e. "Mary exclaimed, 'What a brilliant day to have a monstrosity visit us.'". Or, if you wanted it to stand out within the dialogue, italicize it.
Now, the battle was particularly painful for me to read through. (But maybe it was because I have been reading brilliantly written battles, which made your battle seem not up to par). I understand you want it to make it seem as if the Fanelian army is noble, courageous, and just, but I am sure that they are not that incompetent in warfare. They would not go to the enemy and ask if the enemy would allow them to rest for the night, they would not think that the enemy was foolish to let them battle right after marching there, nor would they have Van ask for rest after Van destroyed their enemy's two Guymelefs and a part of their enemy's army. Actually, if I was a Zaibachian General I would have told them, the Fanelians, that they could rest and then I would have attacked as they were setting up camp; it would have been what they deserved because they would have been the ones idiotic enough to ask for rest. It's a battle, it's war, so you take all the advantages that you can and make advantages just to be sure that you crush your enemy.
Van having to march his army, not reinforcements, to meet the Zaibachians doesn't really make sense since they are in Fanelia and not in Zaibach. Van should have been waiting to receive their attack at a place where he had the advantage, he should not have needed to march to where they were since he should have been in control of the Plains of Trimane. (It also doesn't make sense that that's where the battle for the Eternus River is either. It doesn't make sense that the Fanelians believe the plain is important to keeping the river since it is a just a plain and not the river's headwaters. I don't really get it's importance especially if no one seems to live there either, which also makes no sense since it seems like it's fertile soil that should be great for agriculture.)
The battle itself felt quite shallow. I should have felt bad at the least when people died, should have felt scared when the Zaibachians attacked, should have thought how heroic Van was (I actually thought he was an idiot, and seriously, how does one's willpower deplete...one can become exhausted but then one would not have been able to fight...I don't think willpower depletes...), should have been filled with intense and contradictory emotions, but it was a bland "ehh" to me. I didn't particularly care for anything that happened during the battle (except for Dilandau since it truly was painful for him) and that should not be how battles are. None of the characters felt like they felt anything for the battle. I suggest reading Codex of Alera for reference in brilliantly written battles.
There were some characterization issues too, mostly with characters being consistent with their...characterization. Yes they can grow, but they shouldn't become different than what you wrote them as. I mean, Rutilus Flumen is supposed to be the wise, freedom loving Water Element, but she's not. She's an immature teenager, and I guess I am really hoping that there's a reason for this kind of characterization other than wanting to make her interesting.
Well, enough of that, here are the good things I want to say:
You finished a story that is more than 100,000 words which is more than I will be able to do, I don't seem to have the patience or something. Good job.
I was mostly interested in the story, it has potential. It was interesting and for some reason I kept reading it. It needs a lot of polishing, but I know it will be something brilliant if it is polished.
Seriously, good job and just keep working on it, you'll surely get better.
| Eien-Kiseki chapter 8 . 9/15/2011
lol xD I laugh so hard at the Hitomi/Balgus interactions, i wonder why u decided to make Balgus act like a grumpy old man all the time. I mean his yelling and stuff might be kinda exaggerated... but honestly i don't mind because its pretty amusing to see him and hitomi bicker like family xD
| Raina Darlig chapter 27 . 8/13/2011
OH MY LAWS THAT WAS AMAZING!
| aye-know-hah chapter 27 . 11/29/2010
Really good story you've got here. I'm excited to read the next part(s).
| Not What You Would Call Normal chapter 27 . 10/2/2010
Let me start off with a HUGE thank you for this amazing story!
Your style of writing is beautiful and it brought everything to life: the characters, the scenery, the comedy, the suspense, the drama, the gore, the romance, the action, and the legends. All (and more) were fantastically done!
I've written a few stories in the past and I understand how difficult it can be to stick to a story with regular-ish updates. I'm also impressed that you stood by your work and kept it running for three years! Some people don't understand that it's not an easy thing to do with real-life knocking on your door. It shows how much passion and dedication you have )
You added so much detail into the story too. It was so well thought out that this world and the situations the characters found themselves in were believable (another hard thing for most people to do).
I really like the way you balanced drama/action/gore with comedy. I loved the bickering between Hitomi and Balgus, it never got old. I especially loved Gadeth, he is pure comedic love, I actually laughed out loud to some of his antics (I rarely find a story that makes me laugh out loud) )
All in all this story is one of my favorites out of any of the ones I have ever read. I'm looking forward to starting the second installment... probably right after I finish this review
Thanks again, and don't stop being amazing!
| kate chapter 25 . 9/9/2010
Omg why that part with van in the tent was so sad. I hope Dilly will come back in your story as a vehotus. I think i could have cried for that part.