|Reviews for We Built This Come Death: Of Remnants|
| Veralyn chapter 5 . 1/18/2007
This story is amazing, I love it. I can't believe there aren't many reviews.
| Nozomi-sama chapter 1 . 11/12/2006
This is an excellent work of writing. The plot is awesome and the chapter length is good too. The characters are very believable, especially Hinata-chan. Please continue.
| Julia Burn chapter 5 . 9/20/2006
| God of Static chapter 5 . 9/17/2006
chapter. Long too which is always a plus. You have good talent as a writer. I really want to see how everything plays out from this point.
| Blue Quartz Foxy chapter 5 . 9/17/2006
...Whoa. I can't tell you enough how awesome this chapter was...that and I've used just about all my compliments up in previous reviews -sweat drop- Again I am amazed at how complex the story is and of course the characterzations...ah it is just all really good. Thank you for updating and I hope to read another chapter soon.
| Julia Burn chapter 4 . 9/11/2006
Wow...this is such a good story! And it's probably the best written fanfic I've ever read!
| God of Static chapter 1 . 9/9/2006
This is good. You really go a great job keeping people in character. Interesting plot too. No real critics other than whats already been mentioned by other reviewers. Keep up the good work!
| Dan Ingram chapter 4 . 9/7/2006
Very nice story and interesting choices for interactions. I've always liked the Sand siblings myself. Keep up the good work!
| Lurker chapter 4 . 8/22/2006
One other thing to add to my previous comment:
See a therapist about your hyphen obsession. It's unhealthy. You keep inventing hyphenated words just for the sake of using hyphens. "Herb-water", "body-hammers", and so forth...seriously, there's a point at which it transcends desire to be overly prosaic and becomes indicative of an obsession with a punctuation mark.
I'm still reading, and still enjoying, but I still stand by my original comment: you overdo it with the attempted flowery prose, and it reads like a Bulwer-Lytton contest entry more often than not. Tone yourself down. You're writing an ANIME FANFIC, not a series of interconnected bad poetry. Just write the story and leave the imploding horizons and visceral convolutions and all that other garbage on the side of the road where it belongs.
| Lurker chapter 1 . 8/22/2006
So far, I'm enjoying this, but I do have one criticism to make, and please do not take offense:
Your writing suffers from overprose.
In literature, symbolism and descriptive narratives are generally regarded as a good thing. However, at times, there is something to be said for the 'less is more' approach.
You try to cram a flowery, poetic, prosaic symbolism, idiom, or metaphor into almost every sentence of your story. This actually does more harm than good, as after a while it becomes harder to focus on the meat of the story-the story itself-for being bludgeoned to death with symbolic prose.
It doesn't help that some of it is just plain corny. For example, "She took a long breath through her nose and the entire village rushed into her." and "tone afloat on the sewage of anger".
It's hard NOT to crack up at things like this, because they're just too ridiculous and corny.
Your writing is technically flawless, and like I said, I'm enjoying reading it, but...work on your overprose problem, and try not to be corny if you can help it.
| Brianag chapter 4 . 8/22/2006
I think I want to glomp you for writing such a well-written, plot-heavy, wonderfully characterized story with (what promises to be) a healthy does of some of the best action I've seen written. (Well, yes, it does help that you're featuring Shikamaru, Temari, Hinata and Gaara, all of whom have vied for favorite Naruto character status in Bria's poor mind.)
Honestly, if you're looking constructive crit, I didn't read the story with an eye out for errors. It sucked me in so thoroughly that I was disappointed to see the end of chapter 4 coming.
This is a gem of a story in a fandom where the bad!fic can be intimidating. I'm so very glad I stumbled across this fic. Yay, plot! Yay, characters! Yay, action! (*puppy eyes* There will be more of the action, I'm thinking? Right? I'm a bit of an action/adventure junkie... LoL)
| I like angst chapter 4 . 8/22/2006
Honestly, I don't know what to say. I've said it before and, have read others comments. This was another masterful chapter. You're very good with descriptions. Everyone was very much in character and believable and your OOC's intrigue me.
The language you use is very poetic and refined. I'm rediscovering words I have seen since my last college english class. The language borders on the edge of complicated but is held in check by the nuance of rhythm. Continue to be careful, you have a very sophisticated style that might scare away immature readers.
Still, you are a wonderful writer.
P.s. I don't give a damn which pairings you decide on as long as you keep writing this story.
| Blue Quartz Foxy chapter 4 . 8/22/2006
Yeah you've updated! I just love how fluid and descriptive the fight scenes are, the action moves at the frantic pace, but the choice of words you use let's the reader keep pace and create a mental picture of what is happening. And once more I am still in awe at how true you are to keeping all the characters involved in deepth perception and scruitny even to the smallest quirk and detail. Again awesome chapter and fic and I can barely wait for the next chapter!
| Mariagoner chapter 4 . 8/22/2006
Sorry... not signed in again... but yay, you updated yet again! The plot continues to thicken, your characterization remains as deft and intelligent as ever... and I *really* enjoy your battle scenes as well. Reading of the Sand-Siblings take down their enemies ruthlessly was astonishing!
| Blue Quartz Foxy chapter 3 . 8/17/2006
-pouts- I just finished reading chapter three. I liked it a lot...but I won't bore you to death by repeating my praise from the pervious chapters. Please please update again soon kay?