|Reviews for Sun Kissed|
| CandyMuse chapter 29 . 9/12
Wow the fox familiar needs to take a freaking chill pill and calm down. Really they make it sound like they were forced to read at gun point. One of the great things about fanfiction is that there are hundreds of stories all of which appeal to different people. If it's not you're cup of tea that's fine, some constructive criticism is fine but a direct attack is completely unnecessary and they need to stop projecting their own issues at the expense of other people. Jeez they made it sound as if they were being held at gun point to read through 90 words and then write a detailed review.
I on the other hand absolutely love this work, because of the effort which goes into it and how clearly thought out it is, especially for a fic that's older then 10 years, wow I admire your patience.
I'd just like to counter balance such a negative review and say that it brightens my day whenever I see that this has updated and I can't wait to see what happens
| The Fox Familiar chapter 2 . 9/7
Chapters 14 -29
Oh, great! Another wet dream! Another great staple of prime gay literature!
What’s the obsession with waists, here? Are you subtly feminizing Anakin? I guess so, because you all have a focus on a ‘thin waist’ with these effeminate gay men.
Why is Kenobi eating oatmeal? Really takes the alien elements out of Star Wars and makes it into a basic gay drama. If I wanted that, I’d go to the Castro in San Francisco. And how nice that Anakin repays kindness with more sex, and on an unwilling participant! Wew, lass!
You like reviews, eh? Well, my dear, you are going to get a nice helping of them from me.
Why is Anakin concerned when sunburns when Tatooine is a DESERT PLANET? Wow, keep insulting my intelligence.
Yes, Anakin, you ARE a whore. You offered sex as gratitude to Kenobi, not as a means of desperation, but because you wanted cheap sex. He can, quite frankly, go f/uck himself.
Cue the ‘He never wanted a life with anyone but him’ cliché. And the ‘Rape flashback’ cliché.
OH MY GOD. ANAKIN TOUCHED KENOBI’S SUNBURN. THE ABSOLUTE TOTAL HORROR!
No, what Anakin feeling isn’t ‘passion’. It’s a confused set of emotions where he can’t decide whether to fuck his rescuer or sob his eyes out at past memories. When he isn’t stuttering or talking in pauses like he has asthma, I’d have gathered from the horrible and forgettable dialogue that this was a bad soap opera with the Village People. Call the YMCA!
Funny. Anakin is offended at selective breeding, but he doesn’t have a problem being sodomized or sodomizing the first person he meets. Sounds like some personal politics you have, there: a huge problem with eugenics, but a near and dear attitude towards gay relationships and marriage. It really shows.
Cue the ‘There’s no one like you’ cliché.
I’m so glad Mi’aka’s only noticeable characteristic is that she’s the female friend of two gay dudes. A ‘f/ag hag’, to put it bluntly.
The mega-plot of this shitfic is that Mace Windu, the token evil black man, has to keep the gay lovers apart in order to draw Ventress out. Of course, we never actually SEE any damage she does, because you’re too busy talking about sucking vacuums and pasta dishes. Ergo: the classic female writing of shit no one cares about. But hey! Gotta love that Tru Wuv plot!
“This is so cliché it hurts me” - In which a character is honest about this story.
Basically, Anakin is lured into a plot where he kills – or almost kills – his former gay rapist and the rage draws in Ventress. Whoop-de-doo. Took seven fucking chapters to get this point across, and I still don’t give a damn what happens.
Push comes to shove, and the Sith are destroyed when Anakin decides to conveniently step in front of Ventress and kill her. That’s it. No major build-up, and no care aside from the continuous melodrama of Anakin’s unstable feelings and ‘love’ for Obi-wan. And can I say that the Council were a bunch of douchebags in this? Over and over again I heard about how Anakin was Force-sensitive and a natural user, and not once did I see them ever consider him into their Order. We just have Mace Windi go, ‘Lolno, Obi-wan would just get weak and we don’t consider him one of us anyways’. Talk about being OOC.
Count Dooku is part of the Council still, despite him leaving the Order in the first place BECAUSE of its inherent corruption. He said repeatedly that the Order needed to change and they told him that he was wrong. So he left and became Darth Tyrannus. That reality is tossed aside, because we have to have this grand build-up of this shitty gay melodrama. Why? Love is love, and don’t you dare criticize it!
This went for eleven years. Eleven years, and you are still writing stories. Holy hell.
Anakin isn’t even a well-rounded character. You took everything that made him great and turned him into a sobbing mess with dialogue that sound so female that I wonder if you’re not talking to your own mother over a lost bottle of nail polish. When people aren’t talking about how Force-gifted he is, he can’t stop thinking about what a bitch he is and why Obi-wan didn’t have sex with him on the first meeting. I don’t even know if you’re aware of this, but you made both Anakin and Obi-wan typical gay men in which all they think about is their own buttholes and their own feelings over fact. Like all slash fangirls, you think you’re getting these characters right when you are sodomizing them as much as they are sodomizing each other.
You are no fan. You manage to watch these films, watch the shows, read the media and STILL manage to downgrade these characters to one-dimensional WOMEN who can’t stop talking about broken vacuums, cooking, and MUH FEELINGS! Almost as if you’re putting your own emotional turmoil into the story.
It takes you chapters to convey a single idea, and you don’t even know what the plot is despite this being beta’ed by four of five people who didn’t have the balls to tell you that you’re a God-awful writer. I can’t even remember what happened in the previous chapters, and I could actually skim through them and be bored. The dialogue is as flaccid as their erections, and where it not for their names, I wouldn’t be able to tell them apart. That is how bad this is. And you haven’t had a single word of honest criticism, mostly because people saw the pairing and enjoyed – yes, enjoyed – the deliberate butchering of canon as well as the humiliation of male characters at the hands of other men. It’s clearly not gay rape, because it’s love. But were Anakin female, and was treated as disgustingly as he was in this story, every single reviewer would be losing their minds. Totally fine when it involves men, because like all slash fangirls, you don’t actually want to know what happens in that lifestyle. You just assume it’s about love because you swallowed the story (along with other things) without pause.
Everything was predictable, and half the time, as said before, it was about domestic chores rather than an actual plot. Women just can’t seem to write meaningful action plots, and when it comes to big fandoms, they always let their emotions talk. It showed here. You said you loved reviews, and you’re getting one.
If it wasn’t for your fans, and if it wasn’t for this niche, you wouldn’t have any leg to stand on. You don’t stand out and you don’t have skill. You’re appealing to an audience that legitimately doesn’t give a shit about this fandom. You’re appealing to the lowest common denominator which thinks with genitalia and not their brains. Because of that, you’re a sellout, and no different from what you frequently describe Anakin in this story.
I’ll let you come to your own conclusions about what that is.
| The Fox Familiar chapter 1 . 9/7
Chapters 1 - 13
This story started in 2006 and was updated July of this year. You had 11 years of work on this, and given the summary and the content, I have no doubt that your tastes and style have not changed over that decade. It seems that as you grew older, some things have shrivelled, but perverse pleasure has not. I reckon your AO3 bookmarks reflect the inner workings of your mind. Let’s not waste any more time here.
Not even four paragraphs in and I’m seeing a remarkably OOC Obi-wan. He is ‘shocked’ at the slave markets of Tatooine, and he wonders how he got there in the first place. Mos Eisley is one of /the/ most infamous places in the galaxy. Every sort of criminal scum resides there. Why Obi-wan would be ‘shocked’ at this shows me that you barely know the world, let alone the character.
Near the end of the first chapter, Obi-wan is described more or less as a Jedi undergoing multiple failures. He didn’t; he underwent many trials, but he was a gifted Jedi. He wasn’t like Anakin, who was brash and bold – Obi-wan was cautious. I’m glad his time on Mandalore was forgotten, as well as Qui-gon’s counsel.
“Cat-calls rose from the audience” -I’m glad everyone there is a pederast whistling at a nine-year-old boy. If we swapped the genders, we’d have a remarkably different story, wouldn’t we? Not to worry, though: this ‘boy’ is then written into a ‘young man’, because we can’t have gay paedophilia. That would be...insensitive.
“The most perfectly Force-touched skin he had ever seen” - Wait. What? This was plain old creepy to read. Obi-Wan isn’t considering that this is a slave kid he’s seeing here, but a sexual being? What a sick bastard.
In Chapter 2, we more or less learn that Anakin has been tossed around from one brothel to the next, raped and humiliated; though not fully, as he’s male, and this trope is seen as ‘sexy’ when put into a homosexual context.
Though Anakin’s mother was killed by Tusken Raiders, Anakin here had to watch her be taken away while he was sold as a gay sex slave, because why not? Anakin can ‘slick oil on his fingers’ and that would be enough to stop the anal damage he’d get from repetitive intercourse, right? He can make the other gay prostitutes ‘jealous’ for stealing clients, and he can use that ‘brash’ personality to stay right where he is and not make a single attempt to escape at all. That’s not brash, woman. That’s called being complacent.
Oh, nice. He gets rescued and then says he’d ‘fuck’ the first individual who rescued him. How quaint. I can really feel his character – in more ways than one.
“None of him could forget that Anakin was a very beautiful boy” - You really aren’t helping the stereotype that gay men love going after teenagers and young boys. Hell, this trope is so common I honestly believe you women are COMPLACENT in it. Again, change the genders and we’d see a completely different reaction.
“Taking pleasure from an unwilling participant was wrong on so many levels” - You don’t have a problem with it, nor do your fans. They find it sexy, actually. What does that say about you?
Anakin knew as a boy that both Kenobi and Jinn were Jedi. Hell, they told him as much, and they knew he was Force sensitive. But in this universe, Kenobi just buggered off and decided to bugger IN the nice, tight hole of a slave boy. I would laugh, but it’s honestly so tragic that I can’t help but feel heavy disappointment, especially since you’ve been at this for ten years and nothing has changed.
But Chapter 9, there is at least some sense spoken, and this time from Mace Windu. He says that Anakin is ‘too old’ to become a Knight, even though he’s not even a Jedi yet. Did you really think the Jedi would just let another Force-sensitive rot on a slave planet? No. There’s a plot hole for you. And considering that Anakin was in fact one of the youngest Jedi ever to be promoted to a Knight, that also shows your grasp on canon lore. No one had a problem when Ahsoka tried out for it, and she was younger than him!
You write Anakin as being 21-years-old, yet describe him as being taken 24 years ago! Talk about a time loop!
“The Jedi believe in non-attachment” - Yet, Kenobi is going to fuck Anakin, anyways. Because logic.
The Republic doesn’t know what’s happening in Bandomeer (we don’t, either, just some random shit), and Kenobi feels ‘betrayed’ by the Order? That makes a lot of sense. If he feels doubt so easily, perhaps he should’ve joined the Sith.
In Chapter 11, Yoda asks twice whether or not Anakin is ‘the boy’ that Kenobi found. Your betas are as useful as a golf cart in a flash flood.
Another wet-dream cliché where Anakin fantasizes over a shirtless Kenobi. We get it: you have the hots for both. Sorry you can’t get a man like that in your life.
So this AU doesn’t have Anakin being a Jedi Knight, siring future twins with Padme Amidala, and Kenobi didn’t kill General Grievous. That...makes a lot of sense.
“Anakin knew he was beautiful” - If he wasn’t, we wouldn’t have a slash fangirl putting him on his knees and making his anus look like an upside down cake. It’s always the pretty ones.
Anakin, true to form, is upset and angry that he can’t have sex with Obi-wan, and feels no gratitude at all for Obi-wan saving him. Instead, he just wants a new slave master to dominate and humiliate him, because that’s all his personality revolves around. Yes, as a matter of fact, Anakin IS a whore and a useless waste of flesh in this story. Where is IG-88 when you need him?
This sentence pretty much summed it up: “Damn baby that’s good suck it like that Sith those lips are pretty such a good boy...”
Total gay fetishism. And given your social problems in school, that more or less explains the fascination with gay rape and abuse.
| Ollypuro chapter 15 . 8/24
i can't believe that Anakin's cock was cock blocking him oh my god
| RyuuShadow chapter 29 . 8/3
I need MORE! :D
| MattKennedy chapter 29 . 7/27
Anakin knows the truth now. :) And yay for him suggesting that the Jedi work to wipe out slavery as a means of getting better.
| Guest chapter 29 . 7/18
Hecks yeah an amazing update
| Guest chapter 29 . 7/18
Yesss, it's about time! Finally, Shmi and Anakin will be reunited! And Mace finally stomping down his pride and being better... Ah, the parallels this chapter brings up :') Thanks so much for the update!
| spacemonkey87 chapter 1 . 7/20
I completely and utterly LOVE it! I cannot wait for Anakin and Obi-Wan to be together again!
| pronker chapter 29 . 7/19
Ideal place to start with Mace's heartfelt 'conversation' with Depa. It at least grounded him for the confrontation with Anakin, whose justified condemnation of what was done to Obi-Wan and himself rang very true. It's just so nice to see the Order refocused!
| Dirtkid123 chapter 29 . 7/18
OH MY GOSH YAAAAASSS! THANK YOU FOR UPDATING THIS WITH A GLORIOUS CHAPTER!
| Elle chapter 1 . 5/26
Like the story!
| Ryua Malfoy chapter 28 . 5/14
It's like... like unwrapping one painfully restrictive layer. It's satisfying, and yet just builds up more anticipation for when everything finally unravels and weaves into the pattern we are all hoping to see.
Always lovely to see updates from you.
| CripticWolf chapter 28 . 5/14
Absolutely love this story! Thanks for writing it, I eagerly look forward to more :)
| tanseynz chapter 28 . 5/13
The twists and turns are becoming more convoluted - fascinating. Dooku and Qui-Gon have a lot to do, not the least in getting the council back on track. Obi-Wan and Anakin deserve so much better, as does Shmi.