|Reviews for Don't Leave Me Here|
| daverezi chapter 9 . 10/27/2007
have f-u-n writing a sequel! Cause i like el story-o! Yo with PEACE!
| TheRedBandit chapter 9 . 2/18/2007
Cool story. A sequel would be awesome! You're right. Sasha, Rebacca, and Lindsay are all really fun characters. It would be great to read about them again. But anyway...keep up the great work!
| Rosa Cooper chapter 9 . 11/23/2006
Hehehe, very funny Poor Carmelita, she always seems to get drunk in your stories! Anyway, very cool, and funny, although I can't imagine so many people living in a criminal hideout with no-one noticing
| THE PETE PETERSON EXPERIENCE chapter 9 . 11/18/2006
Nice story. you got a real talent for writing. I hope to read more stories from you in the near future. and to Vanguard Ziggy, why did you block me from your forums not to mention stories? I never did anything wrong to you...
| VanG Ziggy ZA chapter 5 . 11/2/2006
This is very good Heidi, still well done. I am going to the next chapter.
| VanG Ziggy ZA chapter 3 . 10/29/2006
My favorite was the banter between Rachel and Jessica. It was really nice, and I feel for Jessica, really I do. Poor thing must really be confused.
| VanG Ziggy ZA chapter 2 . 10/29/2006
Loved it Heidi! Absolutely loved it!
The flash back in italic, that was really good! I don't think I would have ever thought of that!
Jenny is such a cool character, really awesome!
| WolfKeeper989 chapter 9 . 10/27/2006
THat was good
| NaoliolaStarFly chapter 8 . 9/26/2006
Yes that was a very funny chapter. bently getting drunk really craked me up! Keep it up.
| WolfKeeper989 chapter 8 . 9/4/2006
That was funny! Nice job!
| Stinger - VXR42 chapter 7 . 9/3/2006
Alas, poor Heidi - I'm afraid to say that i haven't seen much improvement over here, it all seems to be chooped up into single lines, which could be stretched out more, and be so much more descriptive - I take it this isn't finished, so i'm hoping to see a little bit more impressive work from you in later chapters.
-Stinger (Formerly AntiGravity 5-1-0)
| WolfKeeper989 chapter 7 . 8/19/2006
That was quite a surprise
| Stinger - VXR42 chapter 2 . 8/5/2006
Limited time means that I can't read your entire story, but I'm going to give you some pointers on the first two chapters.
For a start, this seems to be a much more interesting plot than your last stories, and it actually seems halfway believeable - i.e. Jenny can't sprint in her heels, and she can't fight agaisnt the wolf when she gets caught.
However, in much the same way as your last stories, you're lacking description in my opinion. it just seems to be 'she did this, he did that' etc. It does take much longer to write a story with much more detail and description, particularly if you're a novice writer, but practicing with it makes it so much better, and proves you for what a good author you can be.
Unlike a lot of the authors we see here, I see that you have a lot of potential for being one of the properly good authors that it's hard to come by nowadays.
I'm going to keep tabs on this story, hoping you can correct these mistakes in the early chapters, sometimes a lack of variation in your vocabulary - you sometimes simply use 'whispered' or 'shouted', when other words such as 'hissed' or 'blurted' would give much more of an atmosphere to the story.
But then again, this is only the first two chapters, so when I have more time I'll get to the rest and see maybe if all this review was a waste of time. Ah well...
Don't disappoint me - keep it coming!
| WolfKeeper989 chapter 6 . 8/4/2006
| WolfKeeper989 chapter 5 . 7/28/2006