|Reviews for Lost Sanctuary|
| TokiNoKusabi chapter 21 . 11/12/2009
aw, that was really good. i hope you do post an epilogue, but either way, that was a well-written, very worthwhile read.
| TokiNoKusabi chapter 5 . 11/11/2009
oh this is really getting good!
| MikoHatome chapter 21 . 12/1/2008
Wow, that was simply amazing! I mean the whole story was
so original and so sad that I cried at the end, seriously.
Thank you for writing such an inspiring fan fiction!
| Ghost Writer no. 3 chapter 21 . 8/22/2008
I'm going to critize this story a bit, but don't worry: There is plently of that.
First off, just going to randomly point out some slight things that usually spell disaster for a story or just generally go against cannon.
One: A Nobody of Riku. This is generally considered very no-no since Riku never actually lost his heart anywhere.
Two: Putting in anything from a FF game. This is not correct because the FF character exist in the KH universe. Most are from or assosicated with Radiant Garden.
Three: Besides Xehanort's heartless, no other heartless have actual thinking forms.
These points usually mean a craptastic story that will irriate.
But...but this. It was not done awful. Riku's nobody had his own unquie self as well as his own unquie name instead of just being a clique of some lost Org. XI member or such, your tie-in of FF VII was done as more of a side-developed for Riku and Yuri, and Rei did not suddenly have Axel's memories for no reason and actually was intresting.
I'm not saying these points did not bug me, but you did not use over-cliques. You compliled your own stories and it was great.
The actual story made way for strong characters, clear to read and understand, and some usually no-nos used in a possitive way. Be proud. Oh, and look, a true friendship story instead of a slash ending. Not only that, but you choose a sadder, but happy ending.
Congratuaiton, I think you are a success.
| Ilada'Jefiv chapter 21 . 8/20/2008
Wow. This was totally... AMAZING! This is definitely a favorite! Will you write a sequel to this? What will happen to Axel? Will he find his Somebody? What about Yuri and Riku? Will they ever become one? *screams* You must write a sequel!
*clears throat* Sorry... Anyway, this was awesome work! Blessings!
| Ilada'Jefiv chapter 20 . 8/14/2008
WHAT? NO! UPDATE!
*clears throat* Sorry. Anyway, this story is absolutely amazing! I always wondered if anyone would give Riku a Nobody, and here you did! *cheers* Go Yuri! Please update soon! I'm dying here! ~Ila
| Bubblegum Head chapter 5 . 5/11/2008
I so scared. Oh my gosh.
| Bubblegum Head chapter 3 . 5/11/2008
“….If you’re anything like your friend then I’ll strangle you. Don’t talk to me.”
| Bubblegum Head chapter 2 . 5/11/2008
This story is amazing and great.
I'm so glad I found it - your writing is fantastic.
So much of everything that you need in a story.
| Tawny Kitsune chapter 20 . 2/24/2008
WOW, now THAT was awesome writing, one of the best chapters in this whole fan fiction for sure!
Besides a bit of grammatical errors and a tiny bit of vagueness in places (I'll email the parts to you if you want) it was perfect.
The recent developments definitely compinsated for Rei's kicking everythings ass with little effort.
Great job, I love your writing and this is the reminder why.
| Doomboy2000 chapter 15 . 11/5/2007
(also responding to chapter 14)
Time travel by Mako? And now I'm curious as to what happened to cloud afterwards/cloud if Yuri and Riku had not interfered. This is where I feel left out for not having played FFVII.
Roxas seems pretty killjoy here. But I suppose you need him to balance out Sora. And I suppose he's worried and in a hurry. I can't wait for 358/2 Days so we can see more of their characters, and how they act.
You should probably spell it "Spazzy". "Spazy" seems like it should be pronounced "Spay-zee", like "Spacey".
There were no dividers in this chapter, so the Yuri/Riku sections just flowed right into the Kairi/Roxas sections... and not in a good way. May want to look into that.
Cool library. And where'd you get the name Pharos from for the tower?
| Doomboy2000 chapter 13 . 11/4/2007
Oh, lord, the pime taradoxes! Their warping my mind! How will they all be reconciled? Are the two Sephiroths resonating?
I've always wondered about KH's timeline, what with chibi-Tidus, fairy Yuna, grown Squall and teenage Seifer. Searching for Sanctuary (a fic by Aloria) explains it using FFVI's Time Compression as messing everything up. What's your excuse? Me, I just don't touch the subject.
Towards the start of the chapter, you call Leon's gunblade a keyblade.
Towards the middles, another paranthetical author's note. Really breaks up the flow.
Towards the end, you use "so fast the only time you could see them was when they collided". As a general rule, you should try to avoid using "you" or referring to the reader in general.
Ah, I've been busy lately, and my chapters have been coming out slower, so sorry I haven't been reading very often. I'll catch up eventually...
I want a Roxas fight scene. Is there a Roxas fight scene?
| Doomboy2000 chapter 12 . 10/31/2007
Punching suicidal people is ALWAYS the best course of action. At least, that's what Gurren-Lagann has taught me.
"Simon! GRIT YOUR TEETH!"
Chapter seemed short, especially since you skipped the fight with the Weapon. But I suppose it's a little late to complain about that, since this chapter is however-many-weeks old.
| Doomboy2000 chapter 11 . 10/23/2007
I loved Tactics Advanced; perhaps that's why Wings of Rabanastre appeals to me.
And, not to ruin it, but how can Cloud or Yuri fight underwater? I suppose Vincent could, but I can't imagine Cloud swimming and effectively swinging that huge sword. As for trying to throw anything underwater... out of curiosity, is this an actual fight in the game? Underwater battle fight against a WEAPON, that is.
I like that about FFX, only 3 characters could go underwater and fight effectively (though how Tidus swings that sword, no one knows).
Ah well, why let logic ruin fiction?
| Doomboy2000 chapter 9 . 10/21/2007
Cute Axel memory at the start (stealing CDs). Does seem very in character for all of them. Too bad it bugs me whenever real-world things (such as band names) intrude on fiction, but I suppose it was inevitable for the joke to work.
Typo: Sora said he recognized Axel, Demyx, Roxas and Castle Oblivion. That last one doesn't fit; Sora doesn't remember Castle Oblivion, plus the Nobody's didn't room in Castle Oblivion; neither Roxas nor Demyx ever went there. You're thinking of the nameless castle in The World That Never Was, named in various fanfics as "The Castle That Never Was", "The Castle of Naught", "The Organization Headquarters", or, during the construction phase, "The Castle That's Never Gonna Be if Axel Keeps Setting it on Fire You Miscreants" (last one courtesy of the fanfic "Disorganization").