|Reviews for Like Paper for Wings|
| Alamorn chapter 1 . 10/3/2010
I was just rereading this and I realized I never commented on it. Well, I love it. I have a minor grudge against second person because it so often leads to terrible writing but this was awesome. I really liked the part where Yuffie's mom is teaching her origami, the second to last paragraph in particular but the whole thing was so great it's hard to pick favorites. That's just the lines that particularly stuck in my memory.
| St.st.stutter chapter 1 . 5/24/2010
So, you can write humor. You can write fluff. You can write angst. You can write romance.
But I had no clue you could write so /beautifully./ So stirringly.
This is one of the more moving pieces I've read here.
| serenbach chapter 1 . 6/27/2009
Wow, it's not often I get teary but I really did, reading this. It was so beautiful and it suited the second person beautifully. I like how you mentioned Aeris and Tifa as subsitutes but the last few lines were wonderful, full of hope. Loved it! :)
| Neophyte Ronin chapter 1 . 9/17/2007
Writing in second-person is difficult to pull off well and being what I will call "Self-Narration", it involves a reader successfully putting him or herself into the shoes of whoever speaks for it to work correctly. At least with me, you succeeded, but that may only be my ability to imagine things in general (isn't that what books and stories are supposed to do, anyway?).
In terms of grammar/spelling/punctuation, I'll issue a waiver for any sentence fragments that exist, because in dialogue or spoken word, people don't necessarily follow the written rules to the letter. There weren't any misspellings to speak of, either, so you did well.
Style: You have a sense of poetry and description, simile and beauty that nixes the sensation of true angst (which actually means fear but is often associated with emotional turmoil). It seemed more or less a bittersweet recollection, with an ultimately positive vibe toward the end. Without the actual flamboyance or rage of power metal, you adopt its oftentime optimistic sensation. You also have a good knack for describing a culture and maintain sensitivity when showing a mother and daughter together. Of style, you actually have a superior blend that will force me to reconsider other people's score cards (I'll tell you down below).
Structure/Pace/Flow: hit-or-miss because the format of second-person perspective is an awkward form of prose-not readily repeated or even accepted-but the metaphors applied create a pattern. The themes tend to tie everything together and keep everything from being a tangled mess.
Plot: Reminiscence on Yuffie's part-a moment of desperation-trying to remember a good memory in her childhood... the glut of Yuffentine fics should take a cue as to why she might fall for an older man... when her father's totally lackluster and fleeting memories of a very young mother barely keep her going. I also like how she says she's not acting spoiled, feeling justified in feeling a little angry at being far removed from her mother.
Characterization: Instead of a totally selfish child, Yuffie is simply a girl who looked upon an ideal mother, despite her own young age. The brief moments she recalls in learning the culture with her graceful mother are idealized. Conversely, the issues with her father, the aged and soft businessman who fought and lost a war against a corporation, are raptly demonstrated. The bitter sentiments started at a very young age. Since I got the message, you did something right. You also did a marvellous job at describing aspects of Yuffie's local religion with Leviathan (and her morose musing that it says more than what people care to admit).
Canon Consistency: Because you decide upon pure speculation, your descriptions with the mother might be null and void (if they debut a game starring Yuffie, which might be a lot more upbeat than the stuff they've been chucking our way). Yuffie is still very much a ninja, but perhaps she learned paper-folding from her mother as the only thing of beauty she was ever taught...
Originality: I know a lot of people who will use second-person perspective to describe an early childhood-speculation or not. Just because you did it well doesn't mean you did anything totally different.
Does this fit into the nomination? (Your story got selected for nomination at Genesis Awards; if you're not familiar, follow the link that appears in my author's bio). Yes, it does. It got into the running for "Best Short-Fic." This thing is both short and among the best. Still, another category like "Best Drama" might have been more appropriate. Even so, it needed to get into the running for an award.
Overall, you did quite well. The perspective style is well executed and your sense of detail and design are readily apparent. If you keep at this with original fiction, no doubt you can hit some actual literary awards too.
| Pen Against Sword chapter 1 . 8/18/2007
This was a very refreshing read, and personally, I becomng more and more of a fan of second person. You did it very well, and the last two lines were a very good way to end it. It caught me and held me, so thank you for writing it.
| Athena Solaris chapter 1 . 7/21/2007
I know you wrote this about a year ago, but I just have to comment. I really like the way that you gave Yuffie a rather different voice than most writers do while still managing to keep her in character and adding some wonderful turns of phrase to boot. I've never seen something written in second person before-and I guess a lot of people shun it-but your story makes it obvious that skilled writers can do well with it.
| illuminated bestiary chapter 1 . 7/16/2006
The language and the characterizations are so beautiful here. I love the way you mingle her childishness and her knowledge, and again I adore how gorgeously you write.
| Kaikai PANTS chapter 1 . 7/14/2006
that was good for second person
beautifully written too.
that was a great yuffie centric piece.
good work XD
| Sienna03 chapter 1 . 7/12/2006
Beautiful, just beautiful. It flowed so well and everything seemed so real I fleetingly was reminded of water. Very nice job!
| KT chapter 1 . 7/12/2006
That was simply stunning