Reviews for Forgotten Lakes
elsewhere-wanttobe chapter 10 . 4/10/2013
however late have i found this story, i hope it's never too late to say what a masterpiece you created here!
every turn of events, every step in our alex's and phai's growing up you drew with such vividness and plausibility!
love your phai, and love your alex even a bit more (which is a rare thing to me :P)
evave chapter 10 . 12/7/2008
This is a marvelous story read many times.

I appreciate the absolute "normalcy" of the world you describe.

I believe in the interaction of the characters.

And, hey, there was absolutely no kissing by the leads but it was so romantic.

One thing I wish however was to get insight into what lead Alexander to Hephaistion.

Hephaistion seems not to recognise his attraction to the Prince and to have been his friend just because.

Alexander seems to have realized in the earliest chapters that he had unnamed feelings and that Hephaistion

did not seem to share them (yet).

I LOVE that Olympias and Phillip BOTH see what Alexander feels and that Olympias understands that once

Alexander recognizes his "love" to last a lifetime he will never let it go; to that end she makes Hephaistion

her ally.

But I guess as children are (and for all their warlike "manliness" these are children) it's not a surprise

that Alexander only "feels" how he feels (I especially like Philotas and Cassander scaring up trouble) and

Hephaistion doesn't notice anything that is going on.
Kinney chapter 1 . 8/28/2008
Hi, I just thought I'd let you know that Olympias was known to be a redhead (and didn't look like Angelina Jolie, either, LOL). Because of her coloring and her fierce temper, her love for snakes and the Maenad rituals, she was considered a witch.

Also, the place where Aristotle taught Alexander and his companions was outside Pella, away from the royal palace - and the influence of Olympias.
estelle.evenstar72 chapter 3 . 8/5/2008
Just goes to show what a powerful individual Alexander was, even as a young bratling! Glad to see Hephaistion's self restraint, for some reason not what I was expecting! Aristotle's little qualms make me laugh. Nicely done
estelle.evenstar72 chapter 2 . 8/5/2008
Ah *wants to punch arrogant little Alexander* as much as I love him, how unbareable! Hubris is a painful thing, isn't it? Just goes to show boys will be boys. Greatly enjoying the story.
Emerauldessence chapter 10 . 7/29/2008
First of all, let me say that I love your story. The prose was exceptionally well written, and plot was masterfully arranged. The only fault I can find with your story was the ending. By ending I mean the way you conclude each chapter, not the actually content. Take the ending for chapter 10, for example (only because it's right in front of me).

"As they broke apart, Alexander was still gripping his hands, and the whole world was in his eye. "Hephaestion," he whispered."

When I read this, I just want to go "...and?" This doesn't seem like an ending in that it doesn't have that sense of finality to it. Now, there's a very good reason why I don't write fanfiction personally, so I cannot give you a good alternate phrasing. However, I feel a part of the problem could be the "he whispered" at the very end. I got the impression that it would be much better if you left "Hephaestion" as the finale. I know it would be a very dramatic and overused tactic, but hey, if it's overused, then it must have worked before, right?

Just my two cents.
June Lunare chapter 1 . 1/14/2008
wow... this was just plain amazing! I read through the whole thing and I'm reading it again! No, you are not bad at writing intimacy. In fact, I thought you were really good at it, since it focused a whole lot on emotions than the actual physical act.

But, anyway,... I was wondering...

I think you left out what was in Hephaestion's letter. I just feel so betrayed as the reader that I didn't get to know.
MLygia chapter 10 . 9/25/2007
Thank you very much for the end of Forgotten Lakes. I would like a little romance scene between Alexander e Hephaestion, but...I think that you really got to show the end of an era in their lives-, that was marked by uncertainties, anguishes, jealousies, but also for the growth and consolidation of liaisons very, very strong among both of them.

I really like more yet when you say that you plan to write more in the Alexander fandom. I hope that soon you can return to Far Away From Here although thinking better I see that there is an interval of time very big between Forgotten Lakes's end and the moment in that happens "Far Away from here" you can write more something for this interval. What to think about that?
anonymous chapter 9 . 8/28/2007
Before I ramble about how amazing this story is, I'd just like to get a few minor suggestions out of the way.

1. Your paragraphs are very long, to the point where they're sometimes hard to read, and the run-on sentences make it difficult as well. If you could split them into smaller sections, that'd be great. )

2. I think a beta reader would help, because sometimes you only write parts of a word or otherwise miss punctuation marks that would make the story flow easier.

Don't think I'm ragging on your story - I'm not, I've read it straight through and enjoyed it the whole way. The tension between Alexander and Hephaistion is great, and I hope they both realize their love for each other soon!

Keep up the good work!
bob chapter 9 . 8/17/2007
You're an evil person! I have to know how this story will end please update soon!
moon71 chapter 9 . 8/8/2007
Have I really inspired you? What a wonderful thought!

I am totally torn in two by this story - on the one hand I want Alexander and Hephaestion to get it together; on the other I don't want it to end. The sexual tension and the unspoken desire between them is just so delightful!

First of all, I like the use of Cleitos. As a general rule I hate the usual pairing of Clietos / Hephaestion which stems from the film - the idea of Hephaestion as a man submitting to being Cleitos' eromenos is just absurd. But here, when Hephaestion is a boy and Cleitos a young man, it makes perfectly good sense. Both are at the right age for this. And a bit of jealous Cleitos / Alexander conflict should be great fun!

Alexander and Hephaestion are both so perfect, as usual. The end of Mieza creates a certain sadness, but it fits so well into the story and I suppose it also clarifies things for Alexander - he will no longer have Hephaestion to himself and time is moving on. As he so meaningfully notes, the way he sees it they have almost lost their chance already; soon they will (so he thinks) be too old for this sort of romance and Hephaestion is only just waking up to the idea.

I also loved Hephaestion fighting against the idea that his father could be wrong - in this super-macho warrior society, Father must indeed have been like God in the household, and to find him wanting would be distressing.

And Hephaestion's mother - what an incredibly sad situation, which you handled so well. Her wandering mind and her confusion over her sons is so moving; I particularly liked her memories of Alexander and Hephaestion as boys.

So what will happen next? I would rather like to see more of your Olympias, who did after all notice Alexander's feelings before Alexander himself, and of course to know what happens to Hephaestion's mother. And... at last... a little romance...?

At any rate, its wonderful to have another chapter!
Jaded.Savannah chapter 8 . 4/27/2007
like your story .. looking forward to see what happens next! hopefully soon ;)
ukio chapter 8 . 4/10/2007
I love it.
InkandPaper chapter 8 . 3/19/2007
Aww, you left Hephaestion's letter unexplained!

I got a bit confused with the all the names here, but that's because I don't really know the Alexander universe very well :S

I didn't find the philosophy part dull at all, it was interesting. And the truth about Lysander's death was surprising but I liked it. It gives the story more depth.

" can you expect to know anything, if you can't even understand yourself?" I think I've heard something like that before... somewhere. Anyhow, it was cool. And I love how Alexander and Hephaestion keep getting out of Aristotle's lessons, hehe.

So I finally caught up :D

Need to start on Far Away From Here soon!
InkandPaper chapter 7 . 3/19/2007
Oh, wow, I loved this chapter. It was beautifully written again, but the action was the best. When Alexander jumped on top of the bandit leader I was like, "Yes! Go Alexander!"

Believe me, I am SO glad you didn't make Nicanor Hephaestion's father. That would have just been... very disturbing. Lol!

Great chapter!
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