Reviews for Ritual Blood and Water
Sumone chapter 2 . 2/20/2009
Hey! I think your story is great...I love reading it... tis story makes people curious of what will happens next. There's nthng really bad abt this story...XD Keep it up! You rule!
xxTumblerxx chapter 2 . 6/22/2008
Hey!

Stephen King is my favorite writer and my favorite book by him is IT. I really enjoyed your story! I hope you perhaps write more on it?

xxTumblerxx
shadowwalker213 chapter 2 . 8/5/2006
Well, guess I'll wait to read again when you're a couple hundred chapters up - too short (takes longer to get to it than to read it), and still no A-Team. They are going to be in this somewhere, right? Or is this in the wrong section completely?
IndeMaat chapter 2 . 7/28/2006
It isn't so much the ending that needed work as the chapter. The first chapter (the prologue) was 200 words, which is in some circumstances acceptable for a prologue. The second chapter is about 300 words. At this rate the story will never pick up any momentum. Think of a chapter break as a commercial break in a TV show. Do you want commercial breaks every thirty seconds?

The answer to that should be no. You want the first commercial break to come at a point where people are fully engrossed in the story so that, even if they change channels during the break, they return to your story when the break is over. It is rare to get people fully engrossed in 300 words. I'm not even sure Stephen King can pull that one off.

It is up to the author to decide how long her chapters are going to be. The only thing you shouldn't do is break a chapter in midsentence (and there are exceptions to that too). But my advice here is to write longer chapters, 'cause right now, I'm not engrossed enough te remember to return to this story next time you update.
princess moon shadow chapter 2 . 7/26/2006
Love it! I am just happy you update!
princess moon shadow chapter 1 . 7/16/2006
Love it! More more more! One question thought how does the A-team fit into this?
shadowwalker213 chapter 1 . 7/16/2006
Hard to offer much of a review on one paragraph...assuming the A-Team will show up in next chapter (hopefully a little longer)...? Intriguing opener, however.
IndeMaat chapter 1 . 7/16/2006
I can't say yet whether I like. It's about twohundred words of story. Just a prologue to the actual story. I could, probably, write a longer review of it - if I tried. Prologues are intended to get the reader to mouth water and read the story. Therefore it is best to post a prologue and first chapter at the same time. A good prologue can stand on its own. It could even function as a one shot.

Anyway, I read, and now I wonder whether it is important to have read It to make sense of the story. I haven't read It; I just have seen the cover of the book. In that sense I don't think this was a proper prologue to a story, but I can't really judge that until I read the first chapter. I mean, without any knowledge of It, this prologue makes no sense as a one shot. There is too little information in it to stand on its own.

You could do two things, I think, to improve the situation. One is to make this scene the introduction of the first chapter (which is a different thing than an introduction to the first chapter or even the story). By that I mean, continue here with the first chapter, whether that is Ruby walking through the house and looking around, or a scene of what the A-Team (or a member of the Team; you are intending to put the Team in this story, right?) is doing and go on from there.

The other option is to write this prologue in the form of a short summary of the most important parts of It. That would make it unnecessary for readers of this story to read the Steven King book. On the other hand, it would also be all right if you strew little bits of this background knowledge throughout the story. It is important you give this background knowledge at one point or another, as you cannot assume readers of this fandom have that knowledge already. Personally, I take crossover notifications as thematic warnings (in this case: watch out, horror); I don't take them as a warning for "background knowledge required".

As this review is rapidly approaching the fourhundred word mark, just a few narrative points: "No more nightmares again" tells me, there was another time when Ruby also had no more nightmares. Though I think you meant to say here that Ruby again wants no more nightmares.

"They all" is a bit much to say when there are only two people, Ruby and her mother. Or had other people gotten out of the car you didn't mention?

Anyway, good luck on continuing the story. Only by writing more I will be able to tell you whether I like.