|Reviews for Who Needs Politics?|
| DarkEclipse45 chapter 1 . 9/27/2010
Wow...I must say I really love this story! It's a bit short, but I love it in any case! Heath and Priscilla is probably my favorite Fire Emblem pairing. Hence, I am therefore writing my own FanFic on the two of them. Check it out, if you would like. I liked the way you ended the story, as well. Thanks for writing this!
| animevideogame freak chapter 1 . 7/24/2006
that was a cute story i liked it
| Herr Wozzeck chapter 1 . 7/18/2006
A lot happens in a short amount of time. Maybe you could lengthen each segment a little? The paragraphs also need some distinction.
One thing you can do to help distinction is to write what one person says, then start a new paragraph and put what the next person says. You keep doing that until the conversation ends. You can also put the actions of the character who's speaking in the paragraph. If you need descriptions or long stage directions, make a new paragraph. It's not needed in a story like this, but for future reference, it's a good idea to provide any sentences that change the course of the story's plot serve as the start of a new paragraph.
This story reminds me of quite a few James Bond movies that I've seen. You know what I mean, right?
The ending was happy for a Heath/Priscilla story. It almost makes me think that you haven't read their joint ending yet, where *MAJOR SPOILER AHEAD! HEATH/PRISCILLA FANPEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T READ THEIR ENDING TURN YOUR HEADS NOW!* Heath leaves a crying Priscilla. *THE SPOILER HAS NOW ENDED*
On that point, it seems that you also haven't played FE 6, which takes place after the first US FE. Of course, given the fact that FE 6 never got outside of Japan, I won't trouble you with any details about that.
The short sentences in most of the even numbered sections are a little awkwardly placed. It's okay put a borderline, write, "A few months later...", and then talk about Heath and Priscilla's love from there.
Lastly, avoid speaking to the reader flat out. Yes, I know some proffesional novelists vaguely hint at saying stuff to the reader when writing in third person, but there's a major difference between 'vaguely' and 'flat out'.
Other than most of that, it wasn't too bad. Correct the stuff mentioned above, but don't take it the wrong way either.
| sindy chapter 1 . 7/18/2006
hey good ficcie, althoug it ws too quick I love the pair rvenxlucius so u won a stalker, i mean a fan xD