Reviews for Undead Hearts Still Beat
Jasper09 chapter 1 . 1/1/2009
Amazing writing! Very interesting to read and gave me a much better insight to the Malks back-story.

Fantastic work, keep it up!
as much fun as holding a gun chapter 1 . 12/16/2008
its good so far. The writing is interesting. I like how in character the malks are. I've never seen so much effort put into the beginning of this story before. Most people just start with the 'let me show you something.' but I think this gives it more of a backstory...It kinda clears things up.
Xujin chapter 1 . 11/11/2008
that was amazing

i played the female malkavian and this seems to be a great prologue to her story
Angelius Cullen chapter 1 . 8/11/2008
OMG this is some of the best stuff I’ve read in a while plz you gotta update. I’m serious this is just awesome. Feel free to check out my fics anyone you want but please drop something for me so I can improve my skills and hopefully be as good as you are.

And plz review my stories The Fourth Son and Blood Ties Those are my current ones and i would really appreciate it


Zynodragon chapter 1 . 6/7/2008
That is liek one of the best VTMB fanfics i ever read! It is a great story and is liek really cool and challanges the way you think about Vampires, well done!

therussianbookworm chapter 1 . 5/29/2008
Wow! I LOVED that! Very sad. You are very creative. You made the male Malkavian very sexy. Again, it was a creative way to weave the game and your own story together. I can't wait to read your sequeal.

I "Hail" to you.
Cybernetic Hinote chapter 1 . 2/29/2008
An excellent back story, I loved playing the Malk on Bloodlines, they where the most fun to play. I enjoyed this, and I'm enjoying your other story. needs more vampire fics like yours. Keep it up.
MyDarkElysium chapter 1 . 12/5/2007
I love this story and you've done a wonderful job of capturing the Malkavian. Your character's are fantastic and unique as well. The Malk's have always been one of my favorite clans and the dialogue for them in the game was fantastic. Great Job!
digitalmetal chapter 1 . 9/5/2007
Very well written and a great backstory intro. Not many can or even attempt to write the Malkavian pysche without themselves becoming mad themselves. Bravo
IdontKnow chapter 1 . 9/3/2007
I loved playing that game, didn't know there was fanfiction on it on this set. Anyway great story
Maiafay chapter 1 . 5/8/2007
I really liked it. Not that it doesn't have odd grammar errors and some little style issues (the bold/underlining irked me, but I understood what you were doing...), but in essence, it was a intriguing take on a Malk. I find their ramblings endearing, and madness in general, always makes for an interesting story. I was a little confused a the end, but I'm familiar with the WOD, and the Kindred-so I can surmise it was because he embraced her? Or was it an older sin?

All I can say nitpick-wise, is to watch the adverbs, and some awkward sentences like this:

"A curiosity took hold of her and she stretched her hands, bound behind her back, to allow her fingers to stroke the deadly scar on her back."

Revision: Curiosity took hold of her and she stretched her bound hands behind her back. Her fingers stroked the deadly scar.

Don't be afraid to break longer sentences into smaller ones. Sometimes, they have more impact that way. I trimmed the second "back" since you had introduced her scar earlier, therefore, no need to mention where it was again.

The other thing that struck me a tad odd (and this is personal preference...) is the rushed pace she had told her dream. I think Myyrth should have wrestled it out of her a little more.

Anyway, nice character emotion and involvement. I had a good peek inside your Wrayth and that intrigued me enough to look beyond the text and into the story itself. Not many can do this here on FFdotNet.
Eternal E chapter 1 . 8/21/2006
Hey, hey. What is this? you cant write a great prelude to a what seems to be a magnificient story and then just leave it. Please continue, you got me hooked
Eternal E chapter 1 . 8/17/2006
Wonderful story, please continue. Malkavian is the best of characters She/he always makes me laugh. renenber to bring the humor of Malks multi-split personality into the story.

BTW I think fellow sufferer was right. How did they know about the embrace so soon, do Kindred share some mental bond that allows them to feel when one is being embraced somewhere, or was it their intention to finish the main character's sire anyway? Perhaps he had done something to anger the prince, and the "illegal" embrace gave them a perfect excuse to finish him of.
masqueradewitch chapter 1 . 8/6/2006
This was a wonderful story. You are truly gifted. The ease in which you slip into the mind of a Malkavian was beautiful. Please keep it up.
NothingCharming chapter 1 . 7/30/2006
Very good story. I attempted to do one similar to this a while back ago but it never was very good. : D Go you!
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