Reviews for Hellsing Secrets
Nocte Angelum chapter 5 . 6/9/2013
Why is Alucard so damn pretty
ANDOZU chapter 5 . 11/2/2010
NVM I WANT 2 KNOW ALL OF THESE THINGS ASP PLEZ ITS ALL AWSOME 2 ME AND(BTW I AM A HUGE FAN OF ALUCARD (SAD LOOK) I WISH I WAS AN ANIME PERSON EVEN IF I DIED OR HE DRAINED MY BLOOD I WOULD DIE HAPPY XDDDD) but my main question is why alucard is so f-ing hot is all i wanna know OK

-ANDOZU the fan girl(wanna-be fledgling of alucard-(sobing sound)
anduzo chapter 4 . 11/2/2010
yes i wish 2 know all zes things but not the why is alucard part aounds unintresting 2 me
crimsonwolf333 chapter 5 . 1/9/2010
ha! a lot of questions i wonder..._
crimsonwolf333 chapter 2 . 1/9/2010
*snaps fingers* so THATS why!
The Famous Fire Lady M chapter 5 . 5/26/2009
Well, er..

This was both funny and somewhat disturbing.

I can never look at Walter the same way ever again.

-shudders-

Aanyway, do either the pip's eyepatch one or what do the people of hellsing do on their time off, and do it with the members of hellsing, millenium, iscariot, etc..

I wanna see what The Major does. xD

I have a feeling he bakes.
divinedragonchick chapter 5 . 4/29/2009
it should be why seras is awkward around integra
me chapter 5 . 7/24/2008
This is kind of funny. Here are my answers to your listed questions, because I got a few thoughts when I read them; and I think you outta answer as many as you can, lol.

How and why did Pip get the eye patch?

ANSWER: He thought it would make him look mysterious and dangerous, but whilst trying to figure out how to wear it, he jabbed his eye out.

Seras boobs- their size, perkiness, and growth (?) after she got turned.

ANSWER: Didn't you know? Female vampires are sex kittens, they are required to get boob jobs annually to amuse their horny masters.

Why does Integra dress like a guy?

ANSWER: She was raised by her father, uncle, and a whole bunch of male soldiers. She's gender-confused.

Where does Alucard sleep?

ANSWER: In his pretty black coffin... o.O ish in the manga.

What do the people of Hellsing do during their time off?

ANSWER: I'd personally be afraid to find out. I have a feeling they're a kinky bunch.

Why haven't Alucard and Integra gotten together? (I have a rather fun answer to this, involving silver piercings and holy water.)

ANSWER: Well, firstly of all, I very much want to here your side of this, it sounds VERY kinky and entertaining, but personally, I really don't think they see each other like that.

Why does Seras have such a HUGE gun?

ANSWER: Because she the only female fighter in Hellsing. All the men have big "guns" [or perhaps not-so-big] and they gave her the harkonnen so she'd feel like she fit in.

Why does Alucard keep his old gun?

ANSWER: It is his precious.

Why is Walter still human? (Didn’t they answer this in the magna?)

ANSWER: -_-' erm, 'cause he is.

Where does Alucard keep all his bullets?

ANSWER: Same place Anderson keeps his bayonets, in the magickal storage unit of Nimh.

Can Walter tune pianos? (He does control wires)

ANSWER: He doesn't strike me as the musical type. In fact, he probably chose piano wire as his odd weapon of choice because as a child his parents insisted he take lessons, but his piano teacher was so evil he had to kill her.

Why does Anderson wear glasses when he can get contacts?

ANSWER: Because all of Kohta Hirano's awesomest charries wear round glasses, it is how we determine their awesomeness level! Except Seras, she's just awesome either way.

Why does pip wear a cowboy hat?

ANSWER: To make himself look sexy and fun-loving. At least, in Western Canada and Western USA...

Why is Alucard so damn pretty?

ANSWER: Because he ish a shape shifter and he's trying to seduce all the women in the world so he can make hundreds of vampire babies!

Why is Seras so awkward around Integra?

ANSWER: Because Seras gets all hot and bothered around her. [in the manga they get along great]

Why does Walter know so much about guns when he doesn’t use them as his prime weapon?

ANSWER: Because Walter gets all hot and bothered around them.

Are the men of Hellsing compensating for something?

ANSWER: Yeah, they look at Alucard's awesome immortal hotness and realize they're just short-lived yucky hoomans. So they pretend they're all hot and immortal and... big-gunned...

What else does Walter use that wire for?

ANSWER: *dirty thoughts*

What is in Integra’s cigars?

ANSWER: Heehee, oh nothing, just a tiny something to take the twitch out of her eye. *shifty eyes*
JinxyInvincible chapter 5 . 7/3/2008
Why haven't Alucard and Integra gotten together?

COME ON

spill the fun xD
Alucard'sPetBunny chapter 5 . 6/25/2008
I like all t he questions, though the "why hasn't integra and alucard gotten together one" does sound rather entertaining :P And I have always wondered why Seras's boobs are so hoj- every man's dream, possibly every woman's nightmare (things that are heavy go south quicker) And we all know that the Wild Geese are compensating for something- their small...brains.
Alucard'sPetBunny chapter 3 . 6/25/2008
This is like really short, but really funny! it's like one of those little books you find in bookshops like : "50 ways to kill a slug" or "100 bunny suicides" etc. it's just here for fun! Me loves it! I have always wondered what Alucard hides in his hat, if anything...perhaps candy :P
Timmyspwolf chapter 5 . 4/23/2008
I would have to go for the "why have Al and Integra not got together?" as you already have an answer (if it's anything like your other answers then I cant wait :))and also "what do the people do during their spare time" (bet Al does a lot of practical jokes to fight off the boredom). Whichever one you pick I'm sure will be fanastic.
Fellest chapter 4 . 1/2/2008
What else does Walter use that wire for?

I'm serious here!
Agent HUNK chapter 5 . 8/5/2007
Please answer the questions:

"Why is Seras so awkward around Integra?" (Heh heh, that was my question!)

"Are Integra's cigars tobacco, or a safe substitute like some people use?" (Once again, mine!)

"Can Walter tune pianos? (He does control wires)" (Is voting for my own questions cheating?)

"Where does Alucard keep all his bullets?" (Mine again, I think...)

"Why haven't Alucard and Integra gotten together? (I have a rather fun answer to this, involving silver piercings and holy water.)" (I want to hear your answer!)

"Seras boobs- their size, perkiness, and growth (?) after she got turned." (Hah! I've GOT to hear your explaination for this...)

"How and why did Pip get the eye patch?" (I covered this in a story once. He stuck his head out the window of a jeep to feel the breeze on his face. Instead, he felt a Stop Sign in his eye!)

Hah hah! Can't wait to hear your answers!
Galbadian chapter 5 . 8/2/2007
I demand answers to the questions revolving around Seras and her ridiculously endowed breasts!
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